Divorce Crazy Time

This week marks the one year anniversary of my divorce. I was married for twenty years so being free is a new experience for me. I had to learn to date, court, pursue traditional relationships with professional women (trying to find a girlfriend my children would accept) while at the same time pursuing and hooking up with the check out women at the grocery store, Internet sex hookups, assorted skanks, couples, bar pickups, getting sucked by guys at movie arcades and other wild party behavior. I have read that the first year post divorce is a “Crazy Time”.

It sure has been for me. My question for the divorced guys is will Crazy Time end soon? Is this my new lot in life?

You know I would like to think I will be married for a long time, but sometimes I would how it would be ten years from now and I am faced with a divorce. I imagine the transition would be very hard. Starting all over again. I imagine it would be like you’re in High School all over again learning how to expect and accept rejection and learning all over again what to do on dates etc. Times keep changing and so are some peoples ideas on dating and sex etc. I feel for you. I wish I had something worthy to say.

Anna, Thanks for the warm vibrations. You are such a thoughtful, gentle-spirited sensous woman. You will never be divorced the way you connect to guys here. And besides, I suspect you are really hot.

Divorce and Freedom have the same number of letters - now isn’t that a coincidence (not taking the matter lightly, just adding a lighthearted look at something I’ll probably go through, knowing myself as I am).

Now if I give you my telephone number will you repeat all that to my husband???:p (j/k)

bigone07;

You do get over the crazy time, but it takes time. After a marriage of many years, it takes time to get back out there, mostly because you’ve been out of the dating loop so long you forget how to be good at it. And, because after 20 years, there is a huge amount of cultural change that you haven’t had to keep up with. And because leaving a marriage - no matter the reasons - is very traumatic and the sting stays awhile.

But, Yup. You do find your center again. Sounds like you’re still trying to do that. Best advice I have is: Figure out what in life makes you really the happiest and gear toward making that happen. You may be surprised to find out that having a woman at the very center of your soul is not your priority just now, rather finding out who bigone is again is the real pursuit.

You are a good teacher Avocet whether on pumping or adjusting to life’s changes. I need to listen to you more. Your advice is rock solid.

Hmm. You’ve got me thinking: A bigger unit may help resolve divorce? Get pumpin’, bigone.

Belt notching is normal after a divorce, especially after a long marriage. You try to find out if it really was your fault, at least in my case the first time. You will in time get over it, find yourself and become best friends with yourself.

And with a bigger Penis, you will have a ball (no pun intended). LOL

My new problem is I think I am addicted to getting my dick sucked at video arcades. I love it but I know it is dangerous and risky.

you mean you get sucked off by guys? Have you always been bi or is it just a new thing?

I assume you consider yourself straight. But don’t mind the feeling and justify it by saying to yourself “as long as I am not doing it, I can’t be gay or Bi”. Is that how it works for you? I am not being judgemental just intellectually curious. Does it seem like the easy route of pleasure instead of having to jump into the game of dating again, especially with years out of practice when you were married?

I was straight all my life until last year. I never touched a guy nor was I touched. I did not fantasize about guys. I did fantisize about a double penetration with a couple. After my 20 year marriage broke up, I started dating and found I didn’t like dating several women at once. I did want to prove myself to myself. I found one woman and fell in love too soon. I was faithful during that period. We were both recently divorced and needy rebound people I suppose. When that broke up in December, I put ads on several internet sex lines for a women or couples. I met several hot women for sex but not relationships. Some were married. One wanted to suck her first uncut dick. Some wanted a big dick. Got with several couples. Married guys began contacting me to suck me and wanting me to fuck them. One of the couples both sucked me and I loved it. I sucked him back. I wondered if I was gay or bi or what I was. I got with several bi guys mainly husbands on their own . I sucked back a couple of them but didn’t get off to it. I only wanted to get sucked without reciprocity. I fucked some guys too. The offers kept pouring in more and more of them. I could get sucked several times a week if I wanted to . I wanted more couples but they are harder to find. I didn’t want a relationship with a woman right now. I got hurt too bad with the first girlfriend after my marriage break up. We have become friends again and she is still interested in a relationship with me. I don’t like her ex and there are some other problems to be worked on.

As to arcades, most married guys don’t have a place to suck you. I met a couple of guys at arcades to get sucked and found out all the sucking and fucking that was going on there. I found I could drop by during lunch and in a few minutes almost always get sucked off and go back to work. It’s too easy. I have cancelled my sex line internet sites because it was too much. I couldn’t get on my computer at work without them contacting me. I shouldn’t have given so many my email address. Now I am one year post divorce and find I am still crazy. I know I should quit the arcades and ignore my email sex offers, but I am a very horny fucker with a big hard dick that loves attention.

Am I bi? I do bi things so I guess I am. I have fucked 15 guys, 13 of them married with kids. Most were virgin asses too. If I am drinking, I am more likely to fuck some guy. I were a rubber. My main sexual fantasies these days are of couples where I am having sex with the woman and the male partner is licking us. I also love for both of them to suck me off. In time I hope to settle back down. I have very few fantasies left.

I still believe the Kinsey Scale is alive and well. Viva la difference!

Enjoy yourself with the partner(s) that pleases you at the moment and don’t worry about labels. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

(And I thought I’d been around the block a whole lot of times.)

bigone;

westla’s right. Forget about trying to peg yourself as one thing or another for now. You’re still sorting.

But while you’re doing that be real careful, healthwise. You may know who you’re doing something with, but you don’t know necessarily where they are coming from.

You do prove that there is life after divorce.