ED when 'going in'

This takes a lot of courage to post this on here “anonymousish” or not but I’d really like to sort things out before it becomes more of a ‘mind game’ than something physical which I hope it is and can be sorted.

The problem is during sex with a woman I have ED of some sort. I will get hard during the build up that all works fine, she could be giving a mind blowing blow job and for the majority of the time I will stay hard but I’ll thinking oh thats ok not bad, we’ll tease each other etc my erection will go up and down as attention focuses away from me to her etc and this is normal but at the point of insertion (normally with a condom) even with a major boner I’ll be thinking ‘is that it’ and I don’t get enough of a ‘sensation’ to keep it up, it’ll slowly go down which to be honest I can’t really tell as I can’t feel any difference then you do realise it is going down as the in thrust kinda goes off track then the ‘oh shit’ here comes mr floppy and the anxiety kicks in which adds to the problems just making it worse.

It’s not a one off and I’ve had the problem for a while I guess not sure how long as the woman in my life are all to infrequent. Most recently I had the problem at the weekend with a woman who is an escort of which absolutely blew my mind, I had a major erection and we where really into each other playing and teasing each other, massage, tickling, she had incredibly long fine hair that would drive you insane as she ran it over my body etc to the point where we eventually went for the missionary position, in he goes there I am back to the I can’t really feel anything, it’s warm and slippy but eh.. Ah here comes mr floppy. She was very understanding and we went to other stuff and onto me going down on her more full on than before to get her ready which I do like and relish the opportunity, I know she was reasonably tight from the one finger inserted in her pussy and when she came aside from trying to stay down there with the old tongue as she bucked up and down I could feel her pussy pulsing over my finger so I don’t think she was loose there that my penis wouldn’t feel it I just think maybe my penis is now not as sensitive as it used to be. In the end I managed to get an erection again and pretty much masturbated myself which took ages as well.

My penis is ‘just’ under 6” erect and 5” girth and hopefully on the newbie routine things will improve on this but I think the problem is over masturbation and possibly the fact that I have a Fleshlight super tight ribbed insert which I use fairly regularly and de-sensitized my cock big time. This thing can blow your mind and I’ll have a big erection and will come very powerfully every time no problem. I’ve also noticed that during masturbation I do tend to have my PC muscle locked on (the kegal one), do others during normal sex have there PC muscle for want of a better phrase ‘in use’ or just bang away and use it now and then or never really thought about it? When trying to get the wood back I’ll be using the pc muscle but nothing really happens as it’s the mind that needs to lock the valve shut and keep the blood in. I’m not circumsized but it just grew from as far back as I can remember with the foreskin behind the head so I guess this makes the head less sensitive too.

Is there anyway back or am I doomed to only get off on my own?
I don’t think I can give up the masturbation but cutting down and binning the fleshlight help? Is there one that ‘does’ feel like a woman that I could maybe get the sensitivity back or perhaps a way of keeping the erection with less stimulation to the penis?

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

I don’t think it has anything to do with masturbation.

I can see what you’re saying but I don’t think that’s the initial problem just a consequence of what happens primarily. Yeah, after I have problems I’m then in the ‘come on’ get it up scenario. Maybe I am and I don’t know. Would something like Viagra help? Doesn’t this work on the basis it’ll stay hard but only if you have the desire to keep it hard so if it was anxiety even with Viagra it would go down?

Are you talking to your self to much in your head? you say to yourself is that it etc…I do this sometimes to slow ejaculation, but to much and you can go to far, try not to think to much and just enjoy it for what it is.

BEST OF LUCK

Are you taking any supplements? It’s a long shot but I know when I took ephedra I had major ED issues and chalked them up to psychological factors.

I’m not on any drugs besides just multi vitamins, I do tend to take creatin before the gym though. I’m physically fit, don’t smoke, don’t drink a lot, go to the gym, cycle quite a bit, off snowboarding/skiing for 2 weeks soon, not really stressed out about anything. Would Kegal exercises help? I’ve not really done any of these as part of the PE yet, I don’t think I have a particularly week muscle as I can shoot my load quite far so to speak.

Are you cut or uncut. If your cut would restoring foreskin help with bringing back some sensitivity?

Uncut but the foreskin rolls back by itself, essentially I don’t think there’s enough skin to do it properly it’s just how it grew.

I’ve been a regular on the Fleshlight board for some time and yes, that is a problem for some men especially with the super-tight ribbed insert. That’s the most stimulating insert they make, and much more stimulating than a woman’s vagina. When you combine that with condom use, it’s no wonder.

You need to get a regular width, non-textured insert for the Fleshlight and get used to using it for masturbation. This will actually help your sensitivity, better than using your hand.

Thanks I might invest in one and bin the insert I have, If I keep it I’ll just be tempted to use it every now and then.
I guess the clear one (just for fun sake) is the same as the standard insert?

Hopefully this will sort things out over time, not sure how long it’s going to take though.

I’m sure sleep or calorie deprivation might effect it also.

The clear is the same, although unless you have a clear case it won’t be visible. You can keep your case, just buy a different insert. Make sure it’s the regular, not the super-tight or ultra-tight or any of the textured inserts.

Well I ordered a clear one with case just for the fun of it. I assume I need to keep it very well lubed or material it’s made of snags your skin and gives you that extra sensation you don’t need. Perhaps when hopefully it’s a little more sensitive I could use a condom to simulate the real thing.

Have you tried cockrings, Spod? Maybe a nice thick silicone one? Also, the pc muscle should be relaxed and pay attention to your breathing instead when edging so you could do the same while having sex. I’ve never tried a fleshlight, but it does sound interesting and something I might invest in later.

Good luck man.

Don’t know why but my pc muscle always ends up ‘locked on’ or hard in use so to speak. I guess if I start thinking too hard about that it’s going to break my concentration on other areas and we’re back to our man Mr floppy again. I guess a cockring keeps all the blood in, might take a look see what’s available.