Edging, potential ED, high standards and some other issues - HELP NEEDED!

Can edging cause ED? This may seem like a stupid question, but something very strange has started to happen to me recently. Since the point of edging is to increase staying power by stopping stimulation when you’re about to come, letting the excitement level drop a notch and then continuing, I have been using this technique for the past two years to fight my premature ejaculation. However, my penis has now developed a mind of his own, and since he now “knows” that I won’t let him ejaculate, my erection and excitement level now PLUNGES just a few seconds after the stimulation stops, and, what’s worse, I usually can’t get it back up!
A year ago I wrote that I did’t have a morning wood. I am 28 years old now, and haven’t had morning wood for the past few years, three at least! I sometimes feel a partial erection when I wake up very early. Some guys on the forum instructed me back a year ago to see a doctor, change my diet or whatever, but nothing helped. My doctor said that lack of morning wood wasn’t a problem as long as I could get a normal erection, but now what?
I was never a macho man full of testosterone, in fact far from it, but this is now getting me worried. I am afraid that I’m slowly developing an organic ED, and combined with a fact that I still suffer from premature ejaculation (when I do get it up) I feel completely sexually disabled!
I have also noticed that I go through some sexual cycles, and that there are longer periods of time when I feel no interest in sex whatsoever! I can’t get an erection without physical stimulation any more, and up until some time ago a simple fantasy would do the job. I am in a long distance relationship. Some three weeks ago I was burning with desire and desperately wanted her, I masturbated almost every day for a week. Then, some two weeks ago, I suddenly lost all interest in sex. She came to my city and stayed with me for three days for New Year, and we barely had any sex at all! And that was the first time we slept together. After I ejaculated on Friday evening, I couldn’t get a stable erection for the next two days, until Sunday evening (when I ejaculated prematurely, again).
No matter how embarrassing this is for me, I will tell you that I was a virgin until the age of 27! And before this girl that I’m seeing now, I only had sex once in my life in a stupid one night stand, so logic dictates that I should have been burning with desire for my girl when she came to see me, but I wasn’t. Now you might say - “that was performance anxiety”. And I say - no, it wasn’t. After the first night, I didn’t have any anxiety at all, in fact I felt as if I was with a very good friend or a sister!
And this brings me to my final problem - my very high standards. My girl is definitely above average looking, and she’s very sensual. But somehow that’s not enough for me. She has a few extra pounds in the waist area, and that’s an incredible turn off for me. I see all those ugly girls with boyfriends and I can’t help myself but wonder, and notice that I could never have sex with some 70% of girls out there! I just couldn’t.

QUESTION ABOUT KEEPING AN ERECTION INSIDE A WOMAN

This girl I was with is very tight at the entrance to her vagina. But inside, she is very wide. Since I am inexperienced, I have to ask you guys who have more experience - are all girls like that? If so, then how do you keep your erection inside her when your penis head isn’t being stimulated at all???
Thank you for your patience…

I really believe that a lot of your problems are mental. You are automatically thinking negative. All this stress can cause you not to get hard an premature ejaculation. Plus the fact that you are not used to being inside of a woman could all be a issue. You say that you were completely comfortable with her but yet you came quick. I bet either consciously or sub-consciously your were worried about it, which effected your performance

Your head - the one with a brain - very often dictates what happens for your cock. If your g/f is a visual turn-off to you because of weight, whatever, your cock may not respond to normal sexual stimuli.

In my experience with vaginas, there weren’t any that were tight at the entrance and so loose inside that I didn’t get enough friction/stimulation.

Could be masturbation itself, Nemanja. Since you are a late starter at intercourse, you’ve had a lot of years of getting used to specific hand stimulation, probably stronger than you receive during penetration. That can sort of “wire” your brain over time to anticipate similar stimulation during sex.

See your doctor; get a few Viagra tabs. Use them a couple times and that will probably solve the problem of performance anxiety. Then you can just store the V away as a security blanket.

I think that the practice of stopping before ejaculation may be a problem. I have read somewhere before that it may lead to a state of conditioning in which your mind knows that the arousal must drop prior to ejaculation. This is similar to the practice of withdrawing from the vagina just before ejaculation. Coitus interruptus can lead to aorgasmia. You should try to let go and let yourself ejaculate normally.

It sounds like a combination of factors are occurring simultaneously. You may have some physical factors that cause you to be completely uninterested in sex for weeks at a time. You may considering seeing a doctor to have your blood tested and to confirm your overall physical status. You may also benefit from an exercise regimen and healthier diet (along with PE training of course). You should also consider that a large part of your situation is mental. You do seem to place a substantial amount of pressure on yourself to perform sexually. You would benefit from learning some advanced foreplay techniques which would make it possible for you to bring your partner to orgasm aside from intercourse (many women don’t have orgasms during sex - so learning advanced techniques would be highly recommended regardless). And lastly, ED pills are a great backup especially to get you back on track. A little confidence will go a long ways.

You have erectile problems. The edging has nothing to do with it in my opinion.

You say you were never a guy full of testosterone. Does this mean you are somewhat effeminite? Or you have never really had a strong sex drive?

I ask because you mention your high standards. I have known a couple of guys like that. They nit pick every woman, find all their faults, and usually don’t go out with many women because they can’t find the one who is their type. In both the guys I am talking about, it turns out that they were very confused about their own sexuality, and either had bisexual tendencies, or some sort of mysogynistic pyschological problems.

So first, would you say you are repressing some issues about your own sexuality and your desire for women?

You were a virgin until you were 27, which may mean you are religous, or a late bloomer, or maybe not so attractive, but I suspect this is another clue about your sexuality.

Perhaps I am off base. But you say you go through periods of no sex drive. A guy your age should have pussy on his mind all the time, and a hard dick frequently. I disagree with your doctor that says no morning wood is not a problem. It is a symptom. I don’t know if your problems are physical or emotional, good luck working it out.

mravg;

It isn’t testosterone levels which determine one’s sexual orientation. There are gay men whose T levels are over the top, others who have lower ones, and both are often men who have no confusion about their sexual identities and have not a mysogynistic bone in their bodies.

I see where you were going with this thinking, it is just that the end result is flawed if one carries the tac too far.

We all have some straight friends who find fault with women at every step women take. Nothing to do with sexual orientation; more to do with these mens’ formative years and experiences with women.

I guess your best bet is to see a doctor and get an opinion. Like the other posts said, there may be a combination of different physiological and psychological factors.

Guys, thank you for your help. I will now try to answer your questions in the best way I can and I’ll try to clarify some things and give you more information so that we may come together to the best “action plan” for my situation.

First, about going to see a doctor. I’m not sure that I should run to a doctor immediately, because I believe that as soon as he or she would hear that I was a virgin until 27 and that this is the first time I have a sexual relationship, the doctor would attribute my problems to psychological causes.
Let’s see what I could and should do before seeing a doctor.

This is an interesting theory avocet8. When I started to fight my premature ejaculation, I read and heard from many sources that vaginal stimulation is more intense then manual one, and now my experience and what you are saying is proving otherwise. I am confused. Besides, now I have discovered that there is a world of difference in the intensity of stimulation in various positions. When I penetrated her from behind, the stimulation was so intense that I came within seconds. When she is on top, I don’t feel anything and I lose erection. Comments?

Yes, this is definitely a part of the problem. However, this doesn’t solve the issue of premature ejaculation. I now have two conflicting problems. If I let go, I ejaculate prematurely. If I don’t, I lose erection. This begins to look like a sitcom scenario!

I currently have some problems with my alimentary canal and I had my blood checked less then two weeks ago and it is OK. I am not PEing any more because I wasn’t gaining and I don’t have the willpower to train for years until some gains come like some very persistent members here do. But that is another story. I may adopt a light PE routine to increase the strength of my erections, because I remember how I had rock hard erections when PEing. BTW, in the first half of 2005 I was going to the gym three times a week, did my PE for some two months, and I didn’t regain morning wood.

I would not say that I am effeminate, but I am definitely not a macho man. Imagine a well built basketball player and a skinny book worm with thick glasses. I am closer to the second type then to the first. I think that it’s a safe bet to say that these two people I described don’t have the same sex drive.
I read somewhere that the size of man’s testicles has been statistically proven as a good indicator of man’s sex drive and it is being said that you can even say how likely a man is to cheat on his wife, depending on the size of his nuts. Larger testicles imply stronger sex drive, a greater need for sex. I have small testicles, and that can’t be changed. I think that it also explains why I am being picky with women.
If a person is very hungry, he’ll take any food he can get. If he is only mildly hungry he will reject food which he doesn’t like. If he’s not hungry at all he will take only the food he likes the best. I think that this is what is happening with me. I am not too hungry for sex, so I am interested only in the most tasty “food” - very pretty girls. Is this my curse? Maybe. Probably. But I don’t see how I could help it.
I expected that my sex drive would decrease with time, I only didn’t expect it to happen so soon, in my late twenties.

I was thinking about starting to use some natural supplements which enhance man’s sex drive and blood circulation, something like that L-arginine or whatever it’s called. Do you think it might be a good first step before going to see a doctor?

Personally, I think you should try my diet. This is very anecdotal but I have noticed that a requirement for physical perfection for arousal tends to be associated with low dopamine levels in men. I think you may also have conditioned your cock from too intense masturbation stimulation, death grip. I think you should get a regular insert (not supertight) Fleshlight and masturbate with that to regain sensitivity. You may also just for your own info get your hormone levels tested, both total and free testosterone. There are things you can do like DHEA supplementation to increase testosterone, also my diet will help with that.

Hi Zaneblue, glad to see you come and contribute in helping solving my problems! I have checked out your diet, and I’ll add fishoil, zink, magnesium and calcium to my diet. If I understood correctly, this is supposed to increase dopamine levels?

What about those supplements which can be found in every pharmacy, and which allegedly enhance male potency?

And I definitely DID NOT masturbate with a death grip, or anything close to it. Since I ejaculate prematurely, I have to be quite gentle to my penis when I’m aroused, or it blows!

Actually high dopamine isn’t good for premature ejaculation, but as you are already working on your edging technique I think it will be less of an issue. The dopamine will help you keep your erection even when you stop stimulation. Fish oil helps dopamine (and nitric oxide, similar to Viagra). Zinc and magnesium reduce SHBG, thereby increasing free testosterone. Men don’t need to take the calcium, at least I don’t think they do. I recommend women do because zinc and magnesium interfere with calcium absorption and I don’t want women to risk osteoporosis.

You should take a multivitamin if you are taking fish oil.

Those kitchen sink drugstore herbals generally contain lots of different herbs so that the manufacturers can patent the blend. But usually the main active ingredient is yohimbe. Yohimbe does work, but I think it’s more of a crutch than anything else. There are other herbals that attempt to manipulate T levels, but I think DHEA is the most effective and safest route for that if that is your goal.

I agree, in part, Avocet. When he said he has never been a guy full of testosterone, I assumed that he did not draw this conclusion from clinical testing, but rather from his self image of his own “manliness”. I was just trying to get to the bottom of why he said that about himself. He could feel that he his “not the macho type” because of many different reasons.
On the other hand, although I believe a big strong hairy masculine guy full of T could be gay, a slight, hairless, feminine male is likely to have low T and also is more likely to be gay, so there is probably some relationship eh? I want to be clear that I am just drawing a conclusion based on my own observations, not because I am knowledgable on this. If there is data that shows no correlation, please enlighten me.
I also agee with Avocet about the benefit of Viagra. Especially if you have a girl, Nemanja, you need to give her a good fucking before she loses interest in you. It will make you feel better about yourself, and will take away some of your anxiety. By knowing it is not urgent to solve your problem right now, you can take your time to do all the logical things you should do to determine the root cause.

Zaneblue, what is DHEA???

And what about that L arginine stuff? I remember that a while ago everyone was talking about it on the forum, yet now nobody recommends it to me…

There is a lot of discussion on Arginine within this forum. Some say it works, but I never saw a benefit. Why not try it? Although to me it sounds like you have a problem more serious than one that can be solved with a supplement.