EQ not what it used to be

Not a PE post but I can’t post in the sexual health forum yet. I really need some help with this.

I just finished having sex with my long-time FWB and it ended the same way it has been for a while now - my EQ waned until eventually I couldn’t penetrate her. This time I at least finished myself off while she grinded on my leg, but it’s still embarrassing that I didn’t even get close to orgasm while I was inside her. I don’t understand what’s happening. A few years ago we used to go for hours on end, only stopping when we were too chafed and hungry to continue. This time we had sex for about an hour from start to finish, but much of that was foreplay, fingering, etc. This has been going on for about a year now; more than half the time I don’t finish, and I don’t even get blue balls from not doing so.

My best EQ consistently happens before I enter her, staying at 100% for maybe 20 minutes until it weakens. It’s strong enough when I masturbate, which is not that frequently anymore since my libido isn’t consistently that high.

My sensitivity has gone down too. The first time I had sex with her, I came within minutes of her getting on top because it just felt too good. Now it is the complete opposite where it’s very difficult for me to reach orgasm. It almost feels that I’m just getting old even though I’m only in my mid 20s.

I could really use your help guys, any advice is much appreciated.

Mac

No significant changes to my health in this period - I haven’t been overweight and I actually lost about 10 lbs in the last 2 years. I thought my body fat might even be too low but I doubt it. I’m low-normal now in that regard. No visible abs, slight vascularity when I work out.

I don’t exercise as much as I used to but I’m still in okay shape. My cardiovascular fitness isn’t impressive but I was never much into cardio before either.

My mental health is actually better than it was several years ago, so I don’t think the problem is psychological. I don’t have much performance anxiety since I’ve been with her for years and she’s easy to please.

I know porn is blamed for a lot of EQ problems, but I honestly can’t even remember the last time I watched any simply because I just don’t feel like it. It’s not a “hobby” of mine like it used to be.

> mid 20s

Given that, and that you had normal performance before, my recommendation is “see your doctor.”

The most likely reason for ED at your age is that you have a medical problem. You need a complete physical. When he runs the blood panel, make sure you specifically ask for a full testosterone workup; it’s not always part of the panel unless specifically requested.

This isn’t something that should be “treated” with a prescription for Viagra or Cialis, should your doctor suggest that. Not at your age.

I don’t know if I would consider this ED, since my erection was strong enough for sex (80+%) for at least 30 minutes. But the sex is not as good as it used to be, even though I have no problems on my own. And I still get erections when talking to other girls, but my stamina is worse now.

I did ask my doctor for a testosterone panel before, which he refused.

I think that you don’t feel the same arousal as before. Your mind probably needs more than fucking a long time fwb for hours. You might need some change. Why not hook up with a new girl?

Try Edging and semen retention. Fixed me. Helped me focus on what I was feeling.

ED is defined as the inability to get or keep an erection strong enough for intercourse. Occasional ED is not uncommon. Stress and other things can cause it. Frequent ED is an indication of a potential health problem and should be looked at.

Keeping the erection is what you are describing.

Masturbation is different from intercourse as you can control the tightness of your grip, so is not a good indicator of maintaining an erection for sex.

ED can be more longterm if from a health related issue like low T, or can be temporary or situational based if comes from from a psychological source like stress.

Poor cardio/being out of shape can lead to psychological ED as you begin to worry about performance.

Andy’s post makes good sense and I hope you follow his recommendation. Go to a different doctor if your current one refuses to test for T, unless he has a good explanation for not needing to.

If a blood test returns with a normal panel you will remove that as a potential source of your problem.

I first thought to ask “what are your porn habits?” because that is a boner killer cause sometimes. But for you maybe its not. You don’t call it a hobby, but use of it in any way can hurt your EQ and cause ED. That’s just how porn use works.

Then after reading this whole thread I thought “maybe you need to urinate during sex?” If I have to pee, or if I don’t feel like I do, and I’m hard I will lose EQ or maybe not even get hard. Once I pee, though, I’m back to full mast quickly. You aren’t “old” by any means, but our bodies do age and aging of any kind at any point in our lives brings changes. It may be that your pelvic floor is not very strong and when your bladder starts to fill up the pressure on your prostate starts to weaken your erection so you can urinate. I mean, peeing with a full hard on is not so easy and doesn’t even really happen all the time to most men. I can’t ever even get the chance to pee with a hard on if I force it to happen because my cock loses blood as soon as the urination process starts.

Maybe try taking a break during intercourse and go pee really fast if you start to lose EQ. It sounds weird but that might be an issue.

Oh, do you drink alcohol with her and before sex? Alcohol is a boner killer and I honestly quit drinking before sex about 6 or so years ago because it made it harder to cum and I’d lose my erection.

What is your vitamin D level? I have the same problem, but in the summer and shortly after, my libido always goes up.

Vitamin D is actually a hormone that regulates testosterone, for one. Its a well known hormone, that when in deficit, causes ED.

I just got my vitamin D levels back and its 13–which is extremely low, especially for a non-caucasian human. Minimum for white people is 50, and for coloured people 75.

Im gonna be taking synthetic vitamin D starting next week.