Have some terrible problems...need some solid help

As I understand it, all was well until she talked about her prior dick?

Now it’s a slowly expanding universe of, if not ‘limpitude’ let’s call it ‘less-hardon’?

Particularly with her?

If that’s the case, it sounds like she took a situation already fraught with context and added another layer- a layer that’s just happening to fuck with your confidence/ esteem/ comfort level with her.

I’m guessing you’ve learned not to make certain comments. Hell of a leash correction she pulled on you. Unless you get a sense it’s beyond getting a little of her own back, don’t get caught up in a ‘she’s a bitch’ mindset.
Except if you like really aggressive angry grudge sex [which you won’t know for another ten years yet] that sort of mindset will likely be counterproductive to oak [aka, ‘good wood’].

If you were getting pine [aka, ‘soft wood’] prior to this current iteration [specifically her commentary], then there may be an additional physical component, or at least some other head issue in play.

How to resolve? Uncertain- but I’d back away from situations where you would need to get wood with her, for a little while at least. Doesn’t mean no sex- just means that you will be getting some manual and oral practice in for a bit.
Also some kissing practice too.

Whatever you do, don’t try and get wood.

It just doesn’t work that way.

That’s not to say that if the tree presents itself you shouldn’t put it to use.

Hey.. Those comments your girlfriend made show nothing but immaturity and insecurity. Either she knows you have anxiety issues, and is what I call a “man-hater” (women who have some psychological issues with men for whatever reason), and just wants to bash you because in a sick and twisted way it makes her feel powerful, or she is just ignorant to the fact that the comments she makes take toll on you. Either way, you need to start finding ways to get over the stuff she says, conquer it in a way, or end your relationship with her.

A summary of one of my relationships is as follows. I had trust issues with a girl, although she never made comments towards me of that nature, she said other things in order to hurt my feelings when we had stupid squabbles. Throughout our relationship which lasted about 3 months, I thought I had some type of stomach bacteria because I just didn’t feel too hot all of the time. I work out regularly and just didn’t feel normal. I learned that it wasn’t anything physical, but a complete mental issue. We had sex frequently and I would have use the multiple orgasming technique to be able to have sex for long periods of time, otherwise I would go in about a minute. Besides sexual problems, I got to the point of if I would think of her, I would vomit or feel like vomiting. Anyways after a couple weeks of this realization, I ended the relationship. It took about a month for me to return to normal.. Since that relationship I haven’t had a girlfriend, but I have been practicing masturbation techniques to see if I had a physical premature ejaculation problem, or mental. I watched porn and came in a few seconds right after I broke up with her. Now I am to the point where I can go nonstop as long as I want with porn. Anyways I need to test myself with a chick.

I wanted to tell my experience and it is relevant to your situation in this way. If you feel like she is hindering your growth as a person, dump her.. It isn’t worth the damage it could cause! That’s what relationships are about man, construction and growth, not destruction. Anyways good luck!

You should get back at her by bullying her for her silly little finger.

Seriously: she has noticed that those jokes make you uncomfortable and uses them to push you over the edge. Every four-year-old in the world knows that routine.

MustangV8 said it.

The games for the man hater are basically like a hit of crack cocaine. And some of them “stay up there” at your expense and your self esteem.

With the man-hater - you always pay, even if she gives you pu$$y. Because she will make up for it in another way.

The real man hater will bash a “good man” with “Bad men”, or men who don’t care.

Don’t know what else to say.

Dude, Just tell her it bothers you and ask her to stop. Stick up for yourself. That’s verbal abuse.

To be honest I dont think she thinks shes doing anything wrong when shes talking about her ex-boyfriend. She has talked about him an awful lot. She was with him 2 years but he cheated on her twice. Since shes assured me its the best thing that could’ve happened because she got to be with me.

This question may seem like it comes out of nowhere but when doing kegels do I squeeze hard or moderate or soft?

As to kegels- however you like, mix them up. There are multiple threads on kegel and reverse kegeling sequencing.

[Reverse kegels are when you use the muscles that make you piss faster]

The bed humping is the culprit why your erections are horrible and blow jobs just doesn’t feel right. First what you have to do is to go to this site HealthyStrokes.com and then after you’ve managed to get off the "normal" way buy a fleshlight and just fuck it until it feels right (2,3 weeks). You’ll be ok.

damn…gotta try and repair 3+ years of damage.

Sorry. Just realised I used incorrect English. No capital letter and … . I just saw the above post and replied without thinking.

Feel so terrible. I hope I can get this sorted.

You can get this sorted faster than you think ;-)

Just do what the website says (abstain atleast 2 weeks of any porn/masturbation and then do atleast 2 weeks of normal masturbating). If you still have problems getting off during penetration even after you managed to masturbate the normal way just buy a fleshlight and learn to enjoy the penetration. So the max cost for a normal sex life is just about 6 weeks and a few bucks for fleshlight.

I think it’s not that bad. Just don’t overly stress about it. Many have been in your shoes and sorted it out ;)

Good luck

Oh my apologies. I forgot to thank you for your help. Truly sorry.

Thank you very much indeed. And thank you to everyone else who repliede to this thread and offered sound advice and motivation.

question:
Is it ok to jelq and kegel in the meantime though.

Ok folks. This is no joke. Being a bed humper for nearly 4 years has caused me to become a mess at the moment. I first noticed problems when my girlfriend first gave me a handjob and I could not cum. She gave it for ages. But I never really thought much of it. Problems increased when she blew me and it did not feel good and I went soft. Not just once but every single time. The only way I could cum was dry humping her which she says she found strange (after I told her bed-humping is bad form of masturbation). We had sex once which was awful. I struggled to get a hard on but when I did it would last a couple seconds so I couldn’t penetrate. Finally I penetrated and i went soft inside a little. The next day she told me she never felt anything because I went soft and I was sort of bed-humping inside of her. Anyway I was recommended a site called https://www.healthystrokes.com and I tried to follow their instructions. I laid of for 7 days and ive been masturbating with my hand for the last 3 days at every opportunity but still havent cummed. I do it for quite long aswell. 10-20 minutes at a time. My girlfriend is also wanting to have sex with me soon so i’m under a little bit of pressure but I told her I dont want a repeat of the last time we had sex.

Any help please people would be much appreciated.

Would going to a urologist be the best thing to do you reckon?

Oh I feel terrible.

Thank you for reading and any tips.

:-(

I’ve looked at the https://www.healthystrokes.com web site in the past, and thought that it sounded like a reasonable place for men who experience this problem. It sounds like you need to retrain your body to respond to different stimuli to reach orgasm. I’m not sure that a urologist would be of help to you on that. With all due respect to urologists, this is more a matter of your sexual conditioning, not a physical ailment as such. Good luck, and let us know how you do with this.

I did not even know that doing this could be a problem. I don’t do it this way very often so maybe it does not have much effect as if you do it regularly. But will not be doing it in future.

I have found that sexual performance can depend on stress from work, in your case the sex itself. So just try and relax.