HELP! I can't get it up with my girlfriend...

Just to lend support it’s happened with me as well. I think it’s happened with many more guys then they may admit. No super helpful advice but my key was just relaxing as much as possible without any thought of sex at all. That is kind of like telling someone to please ignore the elephant in the room but it can eventually be learned.

I went through the same thing my first time and lost my erection several times throughout. My dick was in but my heart wasn’t it. I did it, but needless to say I felt guilty for weeks because I went against my own integrity and had sex before I was ready. I was also 19. From then every one night stand was with or girl I had sex with before I knew well I lost it or couldn’t orgasm. It wasn’t until I had my first relationship that I could actually cum.

Sex can complicate relationships and cheapen the romance once you start having sex and stop maintaining the comfortable friendship you shared. Without that friendship you have nothing to fall back on when the honeymoon phase wears off and you stop having sex as much. What’s going change things for you if you have sex so soon? Will you completely submit to her and put her on a pedestal for taking your virginity and chase her away or value your relationship even more because you had sex at the right time. I hate to tell you this but that gut feeling of yours is right and you may not be ready to have sex jut yet. If she is special she will understand and work with you until the time is right, and when that day comes she will appreciate it even more because you were the one that was hard to get.

I have never had that happen. The question I would ask is if you have had this problem with other chicks? Is it possible that, although you like her, she doesn’t really turn you on?

TheGreatDivider, you bring up a good point. I’ve always thought I’ve been ready to have sex, but now that I think about it, I’m not too sure if I am. I like fooling around with her, and she DOES turn me on. I don’t want to cheapen any romance or anything. I like how things are, and it feels like we’re connecting well. Maybe I should wait as you said. She told me not to refer to it as a problem, because she can wait.

So tell her “Thank you for respecting my decision to wait. I don’t want to lose any respect for you if we have sex. You are special to me”. Put that in a card and melt her heart. And believe it or not but women really respect men who don’t pressure them for sex or try to get it all the time. Sex should be something you get after respecting her and making her feel loved. It is neither something you deserve for behaving or treating her well, but her appreciation for your affection over time.

Thanks TheGreatDivider, you’re really opening my eyes. I guess I need to think things through before I do anything again. I feel like even if I did have sex soon, I wouldn’t really have any problem with anything. I think I’ll wait, though, and try to get more comfortable with the idea first.

Thanks everyone :) hopefully, other people who have my problem(s) will be able to get something out of this thread, too.

Lots of good advice. I have had this problem before as well. Simple list of advice.
-No porn for a while
-Viagra or Cialis
-Try hanging out naked (both of you) for a long period of time. After an hour or so let her give you an HJ if your nerves have settled.
-Fantasize if you need to its okay to do so, but don’t tell her.

By the way how old is she? That’s not part of the problem is it?

Age isn’t a problem, she’s one year younger than I am

I have a question for everyone, but I didn’t feel like I should make another post. If I do not ejaculate for a few days, my EQ increases like crazy, but I get super sensitive. I ejaculate a lot more, but it also takes less time to get off. Any way I could prevent this? I can’t even edge because I get too sensitive.

100% of females prefer a man who prematurely ejaculates to one that can’t get it up at all. So if holding off on whacking off for a few days helps you keep wood with her, by all means do it and don’t worry if you cum quick.

From what I have gathered, you would still get a morning woody without you thinking of it. This and other evidence rules out physical issues related to erections. Stimulate testosterone naturally in you body. I recommend that you don’t touch your penis. Don’t masturbate or even think of it. Get some exercise that makes you sweat. Cut down on all empty calories. Stretch your entire body and get to a wet or dry sauna. Spend some time naked in front of your mirror in complete privacy. Examine your presence. Be in the moment -nude. Sleep, cut sugar get rest and fresh air. Think in terms of what stimulates you rather than WHO stimulates you.

You can still jack off and clean the pipes (so they say) once a day or every few days as you see fit. You won’t harm yourself if you need to release a little stored tension, but you will lose a small amount of zinc and some free testosterone as well as other trace elements. Not enough of each to cause you any harm but it takes a while to replenish if your diet is lacking and you’re not conditioned to getting several strong erections a day. Unless you’ve conditioned yourself to edging twice a day or several sessions of ballooning kegels each day your body won’t recover as fast. The more erections you get, the more you keep getting. You can take an additional 25mg of zinc on an empty stomach and 50mg of DHEA (optional*) to help a little or abstain from ejaculation but two to three times a week. You’ll see an increase in testosterone for up to three days, but it goes back to normal after that.

This is all in your head. Realize if she was out of your league (forget about looks it’s about total package) she probably would not be with you. A month and a half is a fairly decent amount of time to wait before having sex, I try and wait about that long so I am more comfortable also. Worst case, pop a cialis or something similar.

Thanks guys. I do take 200% of the daily recommended value of zinc and take L-arginine before workouts.

Also, stop watching porn if you currently do, especially if it is common for you.