Join the challenge! Porn detox!

Lost my marriage, libido and erections when getting conditioned by porn. Is there a way back?

Porn ruined my marriage, libido and erections. Is there a way back?

Porn is really bad. It’s so fucking sneaky and damaging, in more ways than we think. It changes brain chemistry a lot.

Fortunately it is reversible, you can do it. Begin with this;

NoFap® Porn Addiction Recovery

I’m starting this project again.

Made it to the thirteenth day without consuming pornography!

There were a couple of unintentional hiccups; thumbnails on YouTube, a music video that had a few bikini clad women and avatars from a forum or two. Again - unintentional and either closed, scrolled away, etc once encountered.

Might seem excessive to some sensibilities, but I want no visual, electronic sexual/sensual stimulation. Complete re-calibration to arousal and pursuit of women offline - real life. No TV (at my spot) has been part of my lifestyle for at least a good 7+ years.

Sorry to say the Internet is boring as hell. Befitting a technology originally developed for military communication/surveillance it’s a limiter for my aspirations for some sort of ‘authentic’ life. Simply put: the sex available over the internet ain’t shit; time never feels well spent.

At least twice there were pangs for porn. I can’t be sure whether it’s boredom, deviating from a routine that’s causing some sort of craving for porn; some chemical reactions within the brain, etc. I do think it’s mostly boredom and routine. I have no TV and replaced that with the internet. If I had activities to do instead that would go part of the way to changing the material circumstances that might enable access to porn.

Think it was this website that mentioned K9? Well thank you to whomever suggested it. Internet filtering software is an excellent, useful tool.

Yeah,

I’m at day 21. Again, a couple times seeing thumbnails on YouTube, the occasional avatar for forums I’m well and truly bored of visiting.

I’ve figured out - well - had it laid out for me that the internet is the pornography delivery mechanism. Some of you are thinking “yeah, Captain Obvious!” With no TV, a reduced, boring existence, it’s no wonder the internet replaced TV.

So, I gotta get a life. Seriously.

I’m thinking of some software that might limit my time on favoured websites (this one might be included.)

There’s some introspection that’s going on; ruminating on time wasted, behavior that aren’t beneficial to me, etc. The underlying deflation and sadness is lessening. Self-consciousness and other neurotic thoughts are being modified. Considering the objectifying culture we live in, it’s unlikely to ever completely disappear, but I’m aware of a slight shift in self-perception.

There’s more control over my mind as I’m vacillating between fantasizing. It’s unsatisfying and easier to halt when it ‘pop’s into my mind. Looking at women still induces a muted lust which I attribute to porn dulling my receptivitiy (dopamine receptors, neural wiring, etc.

Complete orientation to ‘real world’ woman is the aim. No electronic mediation.

Thinking about what I’m gone do is great, but action is needed.

Should also add I’ve been walking, probably a minimum of 4 miles per day. Exercise has lessened, but I’m gonna get that back up.

Edit: spending time on NoFap forums, reading material to help is beneficial. I need to see what others are going through, their lapses, triumphs, strategies, philosophies, ethos, etc.

Yeah, day 4.

I really wanted to use lots of exclamation marks!!! when I got to day 30, but a good 4 days back I spent a good +/- 25 minutes looking at about 4 websites.

I wrestled with myself for time before, so it wasn’t something ‘spontaneous.’ I chose, after deliberating with myself, not dealing with the agitation/sexual frustration underlying things. The terminology in the NoFap community is ‘trigger.’ I knew what was happening but didn’t try to deal with it by using any rudimentary methods (going for a walk, deliberating with myself.) The ‘technical’ workaround of blocking software - I disabled that.

Good thing I’m past that loathing stage. It’s detached assessment. Emotion does play a role though, just not right-right now.

Other thing is I realized I need decent support, structure, ideas ‘mental technology’ (i.e. understanding what’s happening to me, triggers, etc) and even an ideology to guide me. So, I joined that famous forum and know I’ll spend more time there, reading and understanding what I can do.

I understand I:

- Fantasize
- Spend unnecessary time at the pornography transmission point - the internet.
- Have a conservative routine that enables stagnancy
- Have regressed in my diet and exercise

And some other stuff I can’t recall right now.

Still, it’s about solving this problem and having fun doing it. There’s a better quality of life awaiting me.

Mine’s a pitiful story of sexual frustration, anxiety, misused intelligence and talents, potential unrealized and again, sexual frustration - a defining feature of my life.

So yeah, it’s got to be: solve this problem and have fun doing it.

….yep (and this is all said with a sigh)

It’s gotta be boredom, that’s gotta be a factor in this. Routines are powerful behavior regulators, but at behavior can be modified by environment, stressors, stimuli, etc.

So I’m not giving up and feel exasperation and something approaching disappointment…kinda. Basically I have no interest in feeling bad as this is all an effort to have the sex I want.

Yeah I said it. I. Want. Sex. It’s been an (unfulfilled) obsession and…well I can’t be bothered to go into the story right now.

So I’m starting up again and might look closely into some VPN (or whatever advice I was given) blocker.

If I F up again I will start again and again and again. It’s not about try or don’t try, it has to be done.

Ok starting with my first post being in this topic. This will be my day 1. I will try to come back here weekly with an update. A few years ago I made it to 181 days before I relapsed on the NoFap subreddit. I have been relapsing ever since. I think porn is starting to affect my EQ though recently. So I have decided to give it up. Never had a problem with my EQ before in the past. So this has been a big red flag.