Originally Posted by Slamm
I find that when my lady friend is showing signs of enjoyment is when I loose my focus. I just get all super excited that she is digging it and not just watching me thrust. I try and keep going you know, but I’m to excited about her liking it that I blow it pretty quick. But if she’s not all breathing hard or anything, I can go for considerably longer.
I haven’t tried the clench the whole time yet. I find that If I clench down to much I start to loose the erection. I suppose I should start doing kegals >.<
You mistake my intention.
Focus on her reactions as if you were watching the sails for telltale signs that allow you to adjust them or your direction to optimize your boat’s potential. If you’re focused on it like a man tracking a deer, you won’t have room for thoughts of yourself.
You say as soon as she gets excited , “I just get all super excited that she is digging it and not just watching me thrust”. That shows that as soon as you see she likes it, you start thinking of yourself:”I’M great”, “I’M turning her on”, “I’M making her get hot”.
There is no “I” in sex. You must loose the “I” just as if you were fighting with a sword or riding a motorcycle hell-bent-for-leather on some back road. You should not be I with a sword in my hand. You should be a swordsman. You should not be I riding a motorcycle. You should be like a mechanical centaur- all one thing from the wheels to your hair. You should not be I making love to a woman. You should be the lovers.
The all mighty I is hurting your performance. You need to let go of the I. It is trapping your mind and not letting it perform as it should. If you free the mind of the burden of I, it can function properly and observe her reactions, make the proper adjustments , and keep you from blowing your load too soon.
In modern society ,we spend too much time focused on the I. We judge everything by it. To us, bad things don’t just happen. They happen to ME. It’s personal, to us. Life is not personal. It just is. How can you possibly concentrate on her ,when all you think about is I?
And yes, kegel, kegek,kegel. :)