One part of the appeal to many men is the feeling of conquest and dominance when fucking a virgin. Many won’t talk about it openly but there is considerable research into the association between sex and aggression. It is a primitive instinct. In fact many soldiers have talked about the phenomenon of getting erections during firefights and their shame and discomfort at that reaction. Think of why bondage play and even violent porn is so popular.
The very act of sex itself has aggressive undertones as a man is on top of a presumably smaller woman, between her legs with her in a vulnerable position, and with a virgin that is exacerbated.
When a man moves between a virgins legs in those last moments before penetrating her in that vulnerable position, she is already nervous, her breathing accelerated (yes maybe from excitement but also from fear). She has heard from many other girls that the first time can be painful, and she is now feeling nervous, anticipating an ordeal. Her eyes show nervousness and often in a higher pitched girlish voice she says things like “will it hurt” or “please be gentle”. This already arouses the primitive conquistador instinct as the man starts to see the association between his penis and a weapon to be thrust into an enemies body.
When he first touches the tip of his erection/weapon to her untouched vagina, she invariable tenses up and gasps nervously. The predatory conqueror instinct is even further aroused. As he tries to push it in, her tightness and clenching usually make it difficult at first and as he pushes and starts to work the tip in her whimpers of “ow” .”easy”.”it hurts” arouse that caveman instinct as he opens up the whimpering girl, and presses his cock head against her hymen as she gasps and tenses.
The hymen. That fascinating piece of flesh which symbolizes her innocence and virginity. To get past it and into her body he has to tear it (yes I know it can be stretched and not torn and often without pain). The psychological impact of using ones erection to tear a part of a humans body truly symbolizes the act of thrusting a weapon into another human. When he does that, her feels resistance and has to overcome that resistance, to breach her gate so to speak like a conquering army breaching the city gate. That is why terms like “pop her cherry” and “bust her cherry” use terms with underlying violent connotations like “pop” or “bust”. The very act can be perceived as an act of violent aggression.
When he thrusts through her hymen he tears her vagina with his erection, causing her pain and bleeding, and her reaction is usually to cry out in a high pitched girlish voice with a look of pain on her face. The look on her face, the sound she makes, the knowledge that he has inflicted physical injury by tearing her most sensitive part with his cock/weapon while simultaneously feeling such pleasurable tightness reinforces the aggressive conqueror instinct. Unless he has properly prepared her by arousing and lubricating her, getting the rest in can add to her ordeal as the hymen is right near the entrance and he now has to get the rest into her tight resisting flesh. As he works the rest in, every inch gained usually with forceful thrusts causes further pain and cries. Right or wrong this arouses his primitive instincts as his weapon is tearing her body as he forces himself further into her resisting tightness, conquering her like a Mongol invader. Many guys secretly find that to be a bit of a turn on at the time, even if they feel; ashamed of that after the fact. Some more sadistic types react differently as I’ll explain later.
Once he has fully penetrated he has defeated her, conquered her, like a warrior as he relishes in the tightness grasping his manhood. In many cases he ordeal is not over. If the initial penetration caused abrasions, or injury, she will remain tense and each subsequent thrust will inflict pain on the unfortunate girl. As a result, the realization that every thrust which causes him such intense pleasure inflicts pain on the vulnerable frightened girl beneath him with her legs spread, can further arouse that instinct as he is getting the most intense pleasure at her expense. Each thrust can now actually be interpreted as an act of aggression or violence, as he dominates his conquered victim, thrusting away to her whimpers of pain, ravishing her body, plundering her as a primitive rape instinct starts to set in. When he finally ejaculates into the body of the pained virgin beneath him, it is the final conquest of the invader over the defeated, as the girl is actually relieved that the ordeal is over.
Some guys are closet sadists, and actually find that pain to be the most erotic thing for them. Many guys talking about deflowering a girl, will often go on about how much pain she was in, as this is secretly a turn on for them. Many girls have described their first time where guys were very rough with them indicating that the guy was going out of the way to cause pain for his own pleasure.
Often with the initial penetration as described above, the guy will try to penetrate quickly with one violent forceful thrust, inflicting considerable pain on the girl, and then thrust savagely into her, enjoying the violence and suffering of the girl beneath him.
Many use the excuse of “it’s like taking off a band aid” as justification for violently penetrating and tearing her hymen when they know full well that easing it in will hurt a lot less if at all. Others will say “it always hurts the first time.. It can’t be avoided” as justification for thrusting savagely into her again and again, deliberately making it painful for the girl, getting off on her cries and the look of pain on her face.
So, to answer the original posters question, yes tightness, bragging rights and purity are all part of it, but to a great extent many truly enjoy the fact that deflowering a virgin and “busting her cherry” invokes a primitive instinct for aggression and conquest, and the association between sex and violence as his cock becomes the weapon he thrusts into his victim to achieve pleasure while she feels pain.