Problem with Sex again

Ok sunday night i went to see a girl ive been wanting to be with for sooo long now, talkin months, i dream about this girl so often and we finally got to be together. She turned me on like instantly, soon as i kissed her i got all embarrassed cause i had an erection in her living room with her parents in the other room i thought theyd walk in and see.
First of all im bisexual, i have a boyfriend also, hope i wont be judged because of this fact, but ive thought about this girl for so long i couldnt help but take this chance to sleep with her.
She was going through her period but we both wanted it so bad we just did it…
Ok so after a while of having my erection out and stroking it in front of her we just gave in and she let me do it. And Oh my god i never thought something could be so tight, thanks PE i guess. But wow i thought i was going in her ass or something it was so tight, and i guess it was hurting her a bit. But once we got going it was pretty smooth , but i kept slipping out when id pull out to far , just when she was about to have an orgasm.
Then like the 3rd time i did this i brought my hand down to put it back in and i noticed my erection was getting weak and limp like…so i stopped…i told her i just wanted to finger her now. Which sucked i wanted to keep going but i didnt want her to know that id lost my erection….
I wasnt really nervous at all, i dunno whats wrong with me. I know i couldnt have came with her cause i still have a problem cumming, even tho she was tighter than anything ive ever felt in my life. Tighter than my iron grip in the begining of it. But i cant believe i lost my erection like that. I wasnt worrying or even thinking about that, i was focusing on her noises and how i was pleasing her i wasnt freaking out or anything.

I dunno what can i do to stop this from happening again. My penis isnt sensitive enough to keep an erection for a long evening of sex i guess. Im scared that theres nothing i can do to help it. I dont want to be on viagra at the age of 20 , what can i do to help this? Do i need to go to the doctor.

Do you have any problems with having an orgasm when you are doing your gay thing? If the answer is no then it’s something in your head I would suggest.. No doubt that if a girl turns you on to the point that you really want to have sex with her then you are really not gay at all. I work with a couple of gay guys and they could have the best looking most sexual woman naked all over them and it wouldn’t do a thing for them at all. If your answer is yes then I would head to the doctor and make sure nothing is wrong.

RWG

Hey dude,

I’m 20 too, and I had a similar problem. There was this one girl that I wanted to have since my High School Junior Year, but never got a chance too. She was one of my queens, and believe me, I didn’t have many, but she was one of them.

After 2 years of separate lives, we bumped into each other, got together, and she became my girlfriend for a while. She was tightest girl I have ever been with. If she wasn’t dripping wet, and if I had not an erection of 110% there was no way to put my wienie in, and that was few months before I even got into PE. If my Wienie became say under 90% erect, I had no chance putting that thing back in. And no she was NOT a virgin. No matter what, I still found a way to solve my problems. And here’s how:

At first I was worried, just like you! I thought I will be on Viagra at age of 20. Fortunately, that wouldn’t turn out to be the case. It was psychological, I was worried about my erection which in turn caused a softer erection. The harder you try a full erection, the lower the erection gets. So don’t push yourself, and don’t try too hard. Just take it easy, and your erection will come.

Once I took care of my “erection worries” problem, I again had another similar issue, I couldn’t keep my wienie up at 100% erect. So I found out that it had to do with my “excitement level”. Sometimes it would take me forever to get a hard on, and even if would get it, it wouldn’t be at 100% erection, and I would have difficulties putting it in. I got so immune to sex that even her could not excite me as she was supposed to, or as I could excite myself when I was 15 or 16. I solved that problem with fantasy and dirty talk. I would think back how badly I wanted her in high school and how lonely my high school nights were when I was single. Then I would just talk to her dirty, say stuff like: “How would my fat d**k feel in your little tight p***y?”, or after you get her all hot and horny, say something like: “I know you wanted it so bad for so long, how bad do you want it?” Believe me, this does wonders on both sides (you won‘t believe your ears when you hear some girls responses).I got already got a hard on typing these “dirty talk lines” :)

So remember:
- don’t be hard on yourself
- don’t push yourself for an erection.
- Nothing is wrong with you, many of my friends, including myself, had similar problems, which turned out to be temporary or random
- use your fantasy
- use your memory (remember how bad you wanted her, and how you dreamed about her)
- use dirty talk (takes time to be good at it, once you are good at it, you can make love to her mind, touch her fantasies, and make her hornier than ever before, which in turn will make you hornier (hornier = harder erection) and also unforgettable)

Hope this helps. Oh, I almost forgot, if there is one thing that I have learned about passion and sex in my life, is that it should not be taken for granted. Passion and sex should be enjoyed for the moment (in most cases BUT NOT ALWAYS). So, enjoy the time with her, enjoy her body, her smell, her looks, every thing. Because tomorrow I might be over FOREVER. And you will never be able to go back to that moment. Enjoy, Love, and F**k her like there was no tomorrow. Because you might soon find out that that girl isn’t a queen at all, like I did, and then you might just go on different ways forever, like me and my girl did.

But the moments stay! So enjoy them at that moment, for the moment.

- John S.

RWG I have the same problem with my boyfriend and he takes even longe rot get me hard really. I just started the relationship with him as an experiement to see if it was for me. But i know i like women alot better, but i find some attraction to him. Since he’s so feminine lol…k but yea anyway, still have the same problem with him.
Ive held off for almost 2 weeks now from cumming, i still masturbate but i dont cum. I ussually ahve to masturbate a bit to continue my PE excersizes, so i cant really stop that. But i dunno if this is gonna help me when it comes to sex or just make my load bigger when i have to jackoff after this saturday lol.

John thanks alot, that helps , ill just try to get over it, this is only the 5th time ive been with a girl ever, 5th time having sex. Ive only gotten head from my boyfriend so i dunno what it would be like to move further there. But i guess ill just try not to worry about it so much and go with the flow. I love talking dirty and passionate sex, but lol we both got all impatient so we kinda skipped all the foreplay. Shes young shes like..yea ok not gonna post her age but shes younger than i am, and we’re both wanting that so bad. Ill definately try that dirty talk shit…god that might work. She’s so beautiful and i dont want to be embarrassed and lose her over this.
Thanks alot for the advice ill just go with it and see what happens. God my balls hurt saturday better come fast :(

Anyone else with some experiences or hints please post. Thanks again RWG and John.

Don’t worry about that here. The group of active posters are a very tolerant bunch. However, if anyone does give you trouble the gay and bisexual moderators are watching and could make them “disappear” for a while.

He’s not gay. He’s bisexual. Bisexuals are real. They honestly and actually are attracted to both sexes. I’m gay. While I know beauty and a hot babe when I see one, they just don’t do anything for me sexually. It’s different with bisexuals. Please don’t try to figure out his problem based on his sexuality.

Slick - I think Schwab’s reply has merit and even if you weren’t consciously thinking about your performance, it may have been your “I’d better do a good job ‘cause I won’t get another chance” mentality that did you in. Don’t be too concerned that this is the beginning of something bad.

And Slick, read my sig.

Thank you westla, please forgive me for my mistakes. Just a habit I’ve picked up from to much time on the internet, its hard to break sometimes.

I think your right, I was focusing on doing a good job, not with keeping an erection. Thank you for clarifying the bisexual thing also.

Anyway anymore reply’s would be much appreciated.

Westla90069,

If A = B and B = C, than A = C. If he didn’t have a problem when engaged in gay sex and he did with hetro sex it would be obvious that was simply gay and his mind was causing the issues because he was with a woman. Sorry if I offended anyone with my line of reasoning. Given the information I had to go on it seemed the logical question to ask. Willie answered that he has the same problem if he is with a guy so I would suggest that he goes to a doctor and find out what is going on.

All I know is that his problem was on the other side of the fence of the one I had. Willie, between having premature ejaculation and a very difficult time to reach orgasm you have the better problem. I would still go to the doctor and have everything checked out. Good luck brother.

RWG

We both answered before we had the whole story. Sorry if I seemed to jump on you, but it’s part of my job around here to watch for misunderstandings about male sexuality (self appointed).

No problem here Brother… Jeeze, think about it though.. Having a hard time ejaculating! WOW! Would have to impress the hell out of girls with that issue.. Imagine if Willie and I had sex with the same girl back when I had my problem. It would read something like; ” SlickWillie couldn’t cum and RWG couldn’t even get it all the way in and he shot off.” Funny when you think about it..

Not sure who’s shoes id rather be in RWG. I mean with premature ejaculation atleast you could work your way up to not being able to cum so quick, through kegels or whatever. The way i am now i gotta work my way backwards, its not a good time.

If I did go to the doctor what would they think? I mean what could be the problem. When I think about it now, that dirty talk thing definately sounds like it might help. When i think about having a problem I can feel the effect even when im just sitting around. If its on my mind so much even when masturbating it has a huge effect. If i just let myself go it might help. I dont have alot of experience so maybe if I just do it more ill get used to it. But I have a feeling this might become a problem, and it would be so embarrassing to have to tell my partner that her 20 year old boyfriend is on viagra or something.

Could testosterone levels be low? Im not exactly the manliest guy out there. I rarely have to shave, and not very much if i do. The rest of me grows hair well, but i have a baby face.

And i used to smoke marijuana, been off of it for almost a year now. And ive stopped drinking now for about 3 weeks after i felt it was having an effect in that area. I guess the longer i stay off of the stuff the healtheir ill be in that area.

Can anyone else recomend anything, supplements i can take like vitamans that would help with this situation.

You may see this on your own SlickWillie, but in case you don’t follow the links in this thread.

EDIT: See this thread, too.

SlickWillie,
one test for you which might give you some hints about the core or the problem. If you have a nude pic of your girl or even one where she’s looking sexy or beautiful, or if you can plain imagine her (and recollect the feelings for her and urge to bang the babe), try masturbating to these thoughts/pics… while she’s not around. I’d say, forget that it’s a test or anything like that. Just imagine her nude and you about to fuck her all out. If that doesn’t work (depends on the power of your imagination) try shagging to her pic. See if you have any problems. Ofcourse this is not an accurate test as my experience is that if there’s no performance anxiety, arousal is better with the real babe around (smell, touch, etc) than her pic. But the only thing it will eliminate is “performance anxiety” which is the main factor for impotence.

This apart, I think the major factor (atleast for me) is the free flow of thoughts… very much like let the booze flow… unrestrained thoughts of arousal when you see her and the thought of banging her all out. Something like how you salivate when you are hungry and see something tasty!!! Just let it flow and go along with the flow. This works miracles for me! I can corroborate this type of thinking with “drgmerlin’s” posts on achieving orgasm. He is THE MASTER of this art. Search for his posts on argasm with his girl of 4 yrs!!

Actually RG iI’ve been doing that for a while now, she sent me some nude pics of her a couple months back, and I’ve been putting them to good use.

Those posts have helped Wesla, everything here has helped. This is by far the best online community I have ever encountered. Everyones so understanding and helpful, I cant express my gratitude.

I may have injured myself today while doing my excersizes, I got a call from my boyfriend while doing them and he wanted me to “play” a bit. I had just gotten done with my 300 jelqs and 5 Uli’s, pretty much my whole excersize every day. And I masturbated while one the phone with him. Then i kinda got to that point of no return, blew my load i have been saving for almost 2 weeks now! Which sucks cause I was saving that for him on saturday, i was so dissappointed in myself. So right after that I felt pain in my balls for a second. Then afterwords i have this pain it feels like in my Urethra, probably spelled that wrong. But its near the tip and whenever I touch it now it hurts a bit. Im not sure if this is because I did it right after my excersizes or if its just because I had saved up so much for to long. But this hurts. I guess I should take off for a few days.

I seemed to be gaining alot when i wasnt masturbating, my dick felt alot meatier , i hope this wont cause it to go back to the way it was. And i finally cemented my 7’5 BPEL.

I bet he was, too. :leftie:

Probably because you’d just done your exercises. You probably don’t need a break from PE unless it still hurts now.

Although no masturbating while doing PE is one of the major “rules” most have found that it’s a myth and that sexual activity (by yourself or with someone) while you PE does not hinder gains.

And was talkign to my boyfriend and he commented on how “bendy” my dick was.

He said he likes it that i dont get as hard as other guys do, and that just adds more pressure to me. I got mad at him cause it bothered me and now i feel like crap.

Just when i start thinking positive about this subject he had to say something.