Problems getting 100% / Ejaculating

Hey
I hope someone here can help me with my problem. I have a hard time getting an 100% erection, and when I get one I starts to get flaccid again, and have an pretty ok semi erection - I really have to concentrate with kegels to keep hard during sex. And if I stay hard for a long time I also have problems ejaculating. I need to be ~100% to ejaculate. My penis gets harder under my pants etc. when I am kissing with my girlfriend, and when we are petting in bed, but really whenever I start thinking about penetration I get performance anxiety. I am happy with my current size which has gone from 15 to 18cm, but could it still be the “fear for a small dick phenomen”, and I really aren’t happy deep inside afterall? I am also have fears about that my erection “fluffiness” is because of creation of scar tissue in the penis, large veins or something else mechanical.

Basically my problems are:
-Difficulty to get 100% during intercourse, lately during mastrubation too - I think this is psychological.
-Can’t ejaculate with girlfriend, will get limp before.
-I feel I need to be 110% to have good sex, and get worried.
-I am afraid that PE is hurting my penis/erections.

I think I should:
-Stop using pornography. To get back my senses/requirements to ejaculate etc..
-Stop stretching/hanging my penis alot. To be sure of not having hurt/reduced nerves.
-Maybe talk to my girlfriend about my performance anxieties.
-Stop worrying so much… should be very easy :p

Is there anything else I should do? Has anybody experienced this themselves, does this seem like a known situation? Thoughs? Reflections? Please help out, and please ask if I should elaborate more.

Btw I’m soon to be 19 years old and this is my first regular sexual relationship. Can this performance anxiety have anything to do with my first time, a good while ago, when I was smaller and was really tired and didn’t get fully aroused. Personally I feel this incident didn’t have a big impact on me, and just lately I have had the episode in my mind. Could have been lying there dwelling?

Might I have a small depression?

Thanks and please ask if I am expressing myself unclear.

Wow, you just summed up the whole of my sexual experiences. I’ve got to go to go right now, I’ll be back to post later.

DingleDangle;

(If you can come up with a username like that, your English is not bad.)

If I were you, I’d talk with my doctor about the problem. Be honest and up-front; this (performance anxiety) is not a new thing to him/her. They hear it all the time.

It’s not because you have a physical problem that you should talk with your doc, it’s because he probably knows by now that performance anxiety, which can also affect ejaculation timing, is pretty easily treated with a short-term course of Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. You take the drug just a few times, have successful intercourse and build up your confidence; then you stop taking the drug, being able to stay hard on your own because you have several times. This part is in your head.

In your case, because ejaculation is delayed, do not even think about taking a heavy dose of Viagra or the others - just a moderate dose. This is because Viagra can cause anorgasmia in some men (very delayed or no ejaculation at all).

Another reason to talk with your doctor is that all three drug manufacturers supply Free sample packs for doctors to hand out. Getting over this might only cost you whatever the doctor charges for a visit.

Re: PE workouts
If the level of yours is leaving your penis stressed, cut back some on whatever you are doing. Penises are very fragile organs. No need to beat yours up while you are working on a size increase. Take your time. PE is not any kind of race to the finish line.

DingleDangle,

You seem to have a lot of anxiety. It sounds as if you need to loosen up in your mind. Firstly, your penis, if 18 cms, is a really nice size. So you have nothing to be worried about on that score. It is above average. I wish mine was that long!

I wonder how you get on masturbating? Does everything work ok?

I wish I knew what else to suggest.

You are in my thoughts.

Take care,

Ant

I am guessing you are over 40 years old.Why? Because after 30 or so,your testosterone levels drop about in half.When I was using it,I couldn’t keep it down.I quit because you can’t have both,a big member and taking big doses of this stuff.I would suggest to go to PumpnPose.com and get some liquid Clomid.This increases sperm count and is used for many things like vertility.It is a big stable in body building after the use of steriods to get your testes going again since large doses of synthetic test will take over your bodys ability to produce since you are giving it more than you normally produce.

overuse of porn did that to me a while back. I was off work for 8 weeks and basically about 1/2 of that time I spent surfing the net for porn (my buds were all at work in the day, my girl had gone travelling!). Basically I couldnt get excited by anything at all. It was like my knob was ‘asleep’.

Since returning to ‘normality’ my wood is back to normal - and with the PE I’ve been doing has grown new and exciting ‘muscles’!!

Also, to add a kick to your sex drive/erections get yourself a decent vasodilator - I use NOX2 but any form of l-arginine works fantastically well.

Just curious:
Why does he need to increase his sperm count? Even if he were infertile it would be highly unlikely that would pertain to his erectile function.

Avocet, the only thing about building up confidence with the use of a drug is that the confidence may become based on the drug itself. If one were to have only had good experiences while taking the drug, to stop taking the drug may remove the sense of confidence.

DingleDangle, I’ve had very similar experiences and I think it may be due to my first time (also my only time). Any other oral sex I’ve received has been pointless because I never seem to finish. At this point, I’m somewhat convinced that removing the problem will be a matter of trust and confidence with the female partner. The next time I become initimate with a girl, I will most likely be up front with the problem.

This is a big issue for me and I’d like to here other responses.

Thanks for all the response. I am 19 years old btw!

I think I will see the doctor. I have also started working out again to get a little testosterone boost in the start. I might only need a jump start! Hope so :) And I am keeping away from the porn and am keeping positive! But it’s damn hard to relax when your stressing yourself to relax! ;)

Just hope I won’t become a viagra-addict because of my confidence! I think and hope not.. What I do know is that i should use a very small dose, so I won’t get dissapointed of not having a mega engorged penis when “off”.

Thanks again for the inputs, very much appreciated!

And Wangchun I hear you on the oralsex.. I have bad conscience towards my girlfriend because I think she is worried about not being able to finish me off. Where is the ejaculate button? ;p

Ant,

Mastrubation worked fine, but it’s has become more problematic (longer time, very spesific mastrubation, etc..) over time due to the anxiety! The more you worry, the more it goes to hell.. :-\ Before I could get an erection just thinking about different things that would turn me on!

Dingle, I doubt you have any issues with testosterone and I guess it is most likely anxiety. Many of your cognitions you mentioned in your first point were anxiety related so I suspect you are too anxious too function properly. If anxiety interferes with your life too much you should seek treatment for it. Otherwise it may just be a phase.

Tell your girl to stick her finger in your ass, and then to press her finger against the round lump she will find by moving her finger along the wall of flesh between her finger the frong of your body. That button might help. ;)

Tell her not to move her finger as if to find something between her finger and your back. She might find something, but it won’t be what she wants.

I used to have the exact same problem with receiving oral. I have been in several encounters with oral and never able to come close to finishing. I found this to work for me and till this day it is untouched in the oral department. Have your GF start oral slowly with an existing erection (foreplay works on men too). Then after you are sufficiently covered in saliva have her reach up and begin stroking with her hand at the same time, on the down stroke. It has a three fold purpose. It keeps you from gaging her, creates better pressure and mimics masturbation. The anxieties from this subsided immediately after finding something that worked. Remember though she is not an experienced stroker and that communication is key for both of your orgasms. So if it doesn’t work try again with variation. Women want to please you sexually more than you realize, it’s biological. Above all remember your 19, relax, sex is fun and should not have to be stressed over. Hopefully she makes you feel that way.

DingleDangle,
I’m a 21 year old guy that has in the past had many similar problems. I think the two best things you can do to help your situation is try and cut out the porn, and talk to your girlfriend about your issues. I started looking at porn when I was like 16 and continued to do so more and more until I was 20. Then I realized that I didn’t get as excited as I used to from being with girls. Now when I want some form of stimulation I turn to reading stories instead of pictures or videos. Reading the stories stimulates your mind and imagination which I think is much healthier than constantly watching porn videos. This change has caused me to get much more excited again when I’m with my girlfriend.
Now onto talking about sharing these feelings with your girlfriend. I too have had performance anxiety issues in the past and even sometimes currently. Talking with her about them has made me much more comfortable and much less worried when it comes to having sex. Taking this step should help relieve a lot of stress, especially if you have an understanding girlfriend.

No Worries DingleDangle