signs for Orgasm

Even though I didnt ask the question, I was wondering the same thing. Maybe we can suggest something for her/him to do. I dont know.

I am female. I thought it would be clear .. the name, the questions.. but anyway: female :)

Tarja, this is a real dilemma for you because without communication you will always be wondering. You will always be questioning if he is merely going through the motions of sex out of a feeling of obligation to you.

This is an important question for you to ask.

I think that perhaps he’s holding back from showing signs of pleasure for reasons that are unknown to him. He may have deep psychological restrictions that he is unaware of.

Or it may be simply that he is ignorant of the ways of sexual pleasure. A good majority of men are not taught anything about the pleasures of sex, for themselves or for their partners. You have an opportunity to open up this man’s world and bring him a great deal of wonder and knowledge.

All good luck to you: Dewey

Cheeses, Dewey.

As i told you, there is no missing of comunication. Believe me. Seriously. No.

And the Sarcasm must be a sign of the time. Was an easy question.

Ah, I see.

However, if you’re the recipient during the act, you can still feel a sweat break out on your partner’s back, whether you are male or female. You can still feel a partner’s scrotum pull tight whether you have one or not.

I assumed Tarja was female because the name ends in an ‘a’ and not because of the nature of the question.

Tarja, we have both homo and hetero and bisexual members here. Knowing your exact circumstances might help get better advice. I’m assuming that’s why Luvdadus asked…

I’ve had sex with some females who just layed there, and while they said they were enjoying themselves, they sure didn’t show it. Is your boyfriend expressive in other areas of his life? If he’s not, chances are that’s just his way. If he is, it could point to other issues related to sexual repression, etc.

How old are you and your boyfriend? How sexually experienced is he? How sexually experienced are you?

By the way, how did you stumble across Thunder’s? Your more than welcome to stay and participate, by the way… :)

I was never trying to be sarcastic. I was trying to be helpful.

Good luck to you.
Goodbye

Hi Tarja,

I also don’t show obvious signs of impending orgasm, and like you - my girlfriend wishes I would. She wants a clear signal about my preferences without having to ask and also she wants to be able to bring me close to orgasm before pushing me over the edge.

Typically, I last longer than the average man, but can easily have an orgasm within minutes if the situation calls for it. So perhaps, your boyfriend has more orgasmic control than most men.

About the only outward sign that I am getting close to orgasm is my breathing pattern changes. And it’s not that I’m not demonstrative – I’ll assume this is true of your boyfriend as well.

I’ve been working on trying to have multiple orgasms and I’m noting that the longer I delay ejaculation, while in a heightened state of arousal, the more involuntary muscle contractions I’m having – particularly in the legs and abdomen. So perhaps in the near future my girlfriend will have very clear signals.

Quick thread jack-

Angel, I tried to pm you about a new male multiple orgasm forum bigope set up, but apparently you don’t want to receive them is the message I got.

Anyway, if you’re interested, here it is-

http://www.aimo o.com/forum/fre … d.cfm?id=458879

It’s only been up a day or so, some interesting things being discussed, hopefully more soon.

Thanks RB, I’ll check it out.

Didn’t know there was a PM option - it is now enabled.

tarja

perhaps communication with some of the experienced female members would help you as well:

Diamond Winds

Anna Nimity

Tazgirl

Sunshinekid

Maybe your expectations of his expressiveness is to high? I don’t know. He stays with you, that is something. He doesn’t avoid sex I assume. Sometime with men actions do their “talking” for them and he may be giving you positive feedback in areas that you are overlooking.

Tarja, there’s nothing wrong with your boyfriend’s unexpressiveness. And you never said there was. Your feelings of frustration with this are valid and justified. Neither of you are wrong, hence the apparent impasse.

Thank heaven you two have good communication about this. That’s the first necessary ingredient for a solution. Next is the willingness on both of your parts to work on this.

Somehow you’re having sex with him and its successful on some level, despite your frustrations. You’ve had to deal with the frustration up until now, so just keep doing what you’re doing. Next, recognize that there is a part of your brain that realizes that in the big scheme of things, (your overall relationship, health, money, happiness, family, etc) this isn’t that big of a deal. Yeah, there’s that other part that can’t get past this but put that part to the side for a moment and focus on the other part that’s able to keep this in perspective. Focus on this part and make it your dominant frame of mind. Convince yourself, even if only temporarily, that this is petty. Which you know it is, yet its important to you which means its not petty, and ‘round and ‘round you go. But just try to have a sense of humor about it and tell yourself this is petty, focus on that half of the equation.

When you’re deep in that frame of mind, talk to him about it again. Explore different ideas you guys can try like have him do one slight subtle movement or gesture when he’s about to blow, even if making the movement spoils the moment and causes him to not nut at that moment. Eventually I hope you’ll be able to discover that there’s one part of his body that can deliberately move at the moment of truth.

Somehow he’s conditioned himself that as he hits the homestretch the only movements he makes are the minimum to keep himself alive and to keep progress towards the objective. Any other movement is not allowed. Somewhere there’s a weak spot. The possibility of him moving his hands or feet may be out of the question, but he may be able to blink his eyes. Facial movements may be impossible, but maybe he can vocalize something even if its just a soft grunt.

Try to have him abstain from sex for as long as he possibly can. That will at least put him into a condition where orgasm will come a little easier without an ideal situation. If I’m having sex for the third time in one day the wrong song on the radio can spoil the mood but if I haven’t had it for weeks then only real danger can slow me down.

So if he’s really needing it bad, he may be more able to finish in a less than ideal condition, which for him would include moving.