The point where I either need to blow, or lose my erection, but i wanna do neither!

My main problem is this: regularly when I masturbate or have sex, I reach a point where I feel I’m about to cum, but if I dont want to I need to relax my bc muscle, which at that point will make me lose my erection. If masturbating I can often get the erection back and continue if I have porn or something else to stimulate me, but am not so comfortable doing this during sex as it can be a real mood killer, so often during sex i’ll just cum, even if i want to go longer.

I just wonder whether this is normal, I’ve never read anything similar. And I also wonder what could help improve the situation, is a matter of a weak BC muscle? I have been kegeling for months now so it does feel strong, but maybe not? Its so hard to tell, every routine seems so different. I also have concerns about my circulation affecting my erection, so perhaps that has something to do with it?

Would love to hear any opinions on the matter.

Depends on how long you go before you loose your erection I would think. If you go a minute or two or five and loose an erection you might have some erectile dysfunction but if you go 20, 30, 60 minutes and loose your erection I think that would be normal.

When you have an erection the oxygenated blood getting to the tissues is low because the out channels in the corpora cavernosa are locked (creating an erection). To preserve the tissue of your penis ones body tends NOT to maintain an erection for extended periods of time. Hence why the Viagra and Cialis commercials tell you to rush to the hospital if you have an erection lasting for more then 4 hours. No or low oxygenated blood equals tissue death (necrosis) over time, a bad thing for your penis or any body part. Also why pumping for extended periods of time is dangerous.

Long story short, I’m 27 and fit and during long sessions of sex or masturbation I loose my erection from time to time and I think it’s normal. Great topic I’d love to hear other opinions.

Totally agree if it’s anything over id say about 25 or 30 minutes it’s completely normal and just happens to all of us sometimes. If it’s happening regularly after 10 or so minutes it’s probably ED.

Thanks for your replies guys.

Let me clarify though thats its not just losing an erection that is the concern here. Its more specifically reaching that Point Of No Return, and feeling that if i cool down a bit and relax my BC muscle to keep going without ejaculating, i’ll actually not only lose my urge to ejaculate, ill lose my erection too. I’m wondering whether this is normal for people, though I suspect its not.

As suggested by the above two posts it could be a bit of erectile dysfunction, but ED comes from various sources. Does this suggest a weak BC muscle? If so what would be the best way to train for this, longer holds or quicker bursts of kegels? Or maybe its not the BC muscle at all, maybe its a blood flow problem? Just trying to figure it out and figure the best way to work on it

I wonder, draperyfalls, if you may be a bit closer to the PONR than you realize when you decide to cool down a bit?

You actually stated what your problem was in your own post. “Let me clarify though that’s it’s not just losing an erection that is the concern here. It’s more specifically reaching that Point Of No Return, and feeling that if I cool down a bit and relax my BC muscle to keep going without ejaculating, I’ll actually not only lose my urge to ejaculate, ill lose my erection too”, sorry for the double quote. This is classic psychological ED. You get to the ponr and then you have a mentally induced fear or feeling that creates tension and breaks your “mood” and therefore your erection. If you stop thinking about it so much and become more confident aka tell your self your in control and you will not come yet, you will neither loose your erection or desire.

I can offer a few tips to lasting longer. I used to have problems lasting for the first couple of months I had sex. However there are several techniques you can use. I find the most useful and effective is breathing. Pay attention to your breathing when you are pumping away and reaching the ponr your breathing will speed up and become heavy. When you feel yourself getting close take a deep breath be conscious of your breathing and slow it down. Also work of reverse kegeling during sex- this is completely relaxing your pc muscle. This may sound funny but if you kegel during sex it actually causes the urge to ejaculate and also forces semen out faster by pushing and squeezing it forward. I promise if you relax and do these 2 techniques you won’t have any ed and you will last a lot longer. I can last as long as I want now and my girlfriend actually tells me when she wants me to cum. I can pretty much do it on command, except for when I’m really excited. I can last anywhere from 10 to over an hour. However long or fast she wants. I promise you can to.

So OP, I am wondering if you ever figured out a solution and got past this. Because I have the exact same issue.

When I masturbate, I either have to blow within 30 seconds or lose erection.

When I have sex, I have to use the stop and start technique, and still can’t last over 2 minutes. I haven’t tried any kegels yet because I heard they can be harmful if done wrong.

Pretty sure you can’t do kegels wrong. Or harmfully.

So. Cum. But don’t stop. Desire is in your head. Stay interested in your partner. Your boner will come back most of the time. Just give it 15 minutes or so. Cuddle. Kiss. Nipples. Explore. Have fun!

I’m 19 and when I’m really aroused my penis gets so hard it actually hurts. Pumping made my EQ go through the roof when it was fine before, is this just something to get used to?

You’ll likely get more responses if you start a new thread asking this question. This thread is essentially dead. That said, erections like that are to be coveted. Use it wisely.