Whats wrong with me

Ok, I don’t understand my penis/body sometimes.

Typically, my wife and I have sex maybe 1-2 times a week, but we have changed our pattern and our intent on doing it every night or at least 5 times a week.

Sometimes, I have noticed, that my dick just doesn’t want to get ‘hard’, especially if we had sex the previous night.

In our case, we are also trying to have a baby. Well, I typically can get hard before we even get to foreplay, but the last 2 nights, I have been pretty much a limp noodle and it takes ALOT of work for me to get rigid. Once we are having sex, it stays hard, but has been slightly on the limp / hard side.

Well, tonight, we got in an argument about me not initiating sex enough (which IS my fault), and it has something to do with me just sometimes not being very horny (hence possibly the limp dick thing). Well, after we were calmed down, and since we are trying to have a baby AND she is ovulating, we still needed to have sex. Well, I told her to rollover as I wanted to rub her lower back.

Earlier in the night, I was still fairly limp and even jacking it didn’t seem to make it swell too much. Well, once I started rubbing her lower back and letting my finger tips run against her skin, I noticed I was starting to plump up. I reached down and gave it a tug. Then I continued rubbing more, and then kissing her back. Again, it was plumping up on it’s own.

Long story short, my dick was getting nice hard and rigid (like a good erection should). We proceeded to have some great sex and I lasted for like 35 minutes.

What I can’t figure out is why I was having those times where my little guy didn’t want to come out and play very much, but then that last time, it decided to popup?

I don’t smoke or drink. I don’t regularly exercise but I have been taking some vitamins (especially Arginine), but in the last 2 days, that didn’t seem to help.

I thought for a while maybe sex every night was making me limp, but that shouldn’t be the case. Hell, 24 hours is enough to get rejuvenated. I have had a little stress at work, but not a ton.

Whats going on with me? I am only 24.

Thanks for listening.

I’m 24 as well if that matters, I think you should practice the art of kegels. Do a search on this website for the word kegels and on google for that word. Then take a look at all the information on how to flex your kegel muscles for a male and do this many times each day until you are sore, then get good sleep and continue the process. By doing this kegel excersize over and over till you become a little sore each day or every other day you will strengthen your ejaculation muscles allowing you shoot you’re come out over time and maintain strong erections all the time.. Good luck dude.

You probably succeeded because instead of concentrating on your “problem”, you concentrated on giving your sexy wife pleasure and that brought on the normal male response. So, just continue to be a giver and not a taker and let nature take it’s course.

Sounds like performance anxiety to me. The simple fact of forgetting about your penis and focusing on your lady seems to have distracted you long enough to sprout wood! I agree totally with gprent. I’m unfamiliar with the idea of not being horny though. So maybe I can’t give you any real advice.

Maybe you should just rub her ass more.. Haha.. I know I get hard pretty easy that way.

When I was having ED I would drink a large glass of green tea in the afternoon, by the evening everything was kicking in. I learned about

Green tea from some older, 70ish, men in Mexico. I don’t know what is in

The stuff, but it works and it’s alot cheaper than Viagra. Seep it strong.

Funny that, I drink about 1 litre of green tea a day if I can.

Doesnt sound like ED to me, just your expecting to turn it on like a switch. Go for things a bit more natural, the more you think the less like your’ll feel like doing it. Tell her men need romance too :p Any bloke can get this, its just most men arent so lucky to have sex whenever they like :noreally:

Thanks for the info guys.

Regarding Kegals, yea I already know how to do them, I just don’t do them enough :)

Part of my issue, though, is that I typically don’t feel horny throughout the day (I.e; at work or anything, meaning I don’t plump up at work) and then when I get home, it’s not like I am ready to rip my clothes off and take my wife. At times, I feel like I have no sexual energy, until, well, I actually get into the bedroom.

I don’t know if I can call that dick control, but at times, it feels like the desire for sex just isn’t yanking at my brain all the time, like it does for some people. Thats why I brought up the diet issue.

Btw - Green tea really helps? I drink regular decaff tea, btw - I don’t drink caffine either.

Thanks everyone

I am 33 and have had similiar problems. I am sure it is just performance anxiety. I went as far as ordering Viagra and Cialis on the internet. I just talk to my wife about it and told her that I was worried EVERY TIME that I wouldn’t get hard and that I needed her to work with me on it. She was very understanding and after a few weeks everything returned back to normal again.including the spontaneus erections. We forget sometimes how connected our 2 heads really are. For me it worked best for her to perform oral sex on me first.it sometimes took a minute of 2, but never failed. Good luck.

Sounds like you’ve lost that “spark” perhaps if you can afford it, a second honeymoon? Or try something exciting which will get you horny like crazy :p Like some roleplay or whatever floats your boat :P

That’s great advice.

No, I am very attracted to her, so the second honeymoon isn’t needed (though if we could afford it, a nice vacation would be nice:) ), but I think it’s like others said, performance anxiety. Though I still think my diet / exercise (lack therof) is to blame.

I have started taking a bunch of vitamins and eating better in the last week. I plan on introducing some solid exercise coming up soon.

Maybe get your testosterone checked out. Simple blood test

Hi johngreen.

I’ve recently come to understand that while sex is awesome and extemely plesaurable, having it all the time can reduce the pleasure one gets from it, or make one less likely to get horny as easily. I can see a little bit of this in your situation.

Setting the rule that “We must do it 5 times a week”, can be detrimental to your libido. Its hard not to buy into the cultural idea that “I should be fucking 24/7”, but your body is obviously telling you something.

Were you getting hard consistently when the sex was once or twice a week? I’m willing to bet you were. With work, and trying to have a baby you are probably a little stressed. That can make it hard for you to perform too. And than when you add the demand of sex almost every day of the week…your sex drive starts taking a nose dive.

I guess my point is, its totally reasonable and okay to not have sex every day. You and your wife should discuss this, and perhaps come to an agreement as to the number of times/week that meets both of your needs. If your trying for a baby, and it’s ovulation time…of course sex is going to be expected, so if your really in need during those situations consider a viagra or something similar.

But, I also think Gprent hit the nail on the head. Get the brain out of the picture and let your body’s natural urges take over. Ease into it, and try not to force sex…its never very much fun that way anyway IMO.

I don’t know much about the diet issues, I certainly don’t think its anything your eating thats making you less hard. But there is probably some foods/drinks out there that can help you achieve the hardness that you want.

Best of luck.

Hi all.. I do need some serious help here, before going to see a doctor. (Sorry I could not post anywhere else so I do here under “what’s wrong with me”)

This is the problem I encountered twice. I am 21 years old and never had sex before. I have a girlfriend right now. The thing is that a have a problem with my erections. Let me make myself clear.

From the moment I see her, touch her and kiss her my penis gets hard (but cannot get a full erection due to underware stress!).. I also pre-cum a lot.( and I do mean a LOT)
2 days ago I was in this semi-erect situation for about 1 hour and my underwear was full of pre-cum.. When finally we decided to have sex my penis did not respond.. It could not get the 100% erection and did not get hard at all. It was like it became insensitive an remained in that situation! The result was that even there was penetration my penis was soft and I would not feel myself geting eny pleasure nor did she..

The penis was kind of sore for more than 12 hours after that event.

The other monring I tried to masturbate but still my dick seemed to be unsensitive.. It was the first time failing to musturbate.

I usually masturbate at least 1 time daily and I get full hard erections.

What do you think of it?

(I suspect that this prolonged semi-erect situation could work bad for me and extensive precumming together could desensitise the penis)

Please help.. I am desperate..

Thanks a lot