jelqking,
Are you in some kind of counseling currently? I’m glad you are comfortable enough here to share your feelings but I’m concerned that maybe you need to talk to someone in person. I have been where you are at. I have lost a woman who i thought was the end all /be all. I slept 15-16 hours per day and lost my job. It’s funny. I even had anxiety attacks but that was a long time before.
Here’s the drop: YOU ARE DEPRESSED! It’s ok and it’s normal for someone who has gone through what you have. It’s really important to talk to someone though. Get some help if at all possible.
Depression feels like the end but it doesn’t have to be. I have met someone else and got a job and feel like I’m improving my life by leaps and bounds (finding this forum has helped).
anyhow, take care of yourself and i hope things get better for you
HH77