Originally Posted by tenaciousD
I’m not a therapist or psychologist. I’m just a middle-aged guy who is old enough to know that the stuff that used to twist me up in knots as a younger man was all in my head. It was a mind prison and the door was open the whole time. I just had to decide to walk through it.There is a concept in cognitive behavioral therapy that avoiding anxiety-producing situations actually increases our anxiety and avoidance over time. The imagined worst-case scenario gets darker and more real in our minds. There are many techniques to start to soften this response and all of them involve acknowledging the feelings (so you don’t use bravado and pretend you aren’t feeling anxious) but you reframe the thinking patterns from worst-case scenarios to more and more positive scenarios, you challenge your worried assumptions with reality’s actual response being much more positive (the world’s feedback is almost never as bad as you imagined), and you challenge your insecurities by engaging in the very activity that your anxiety has made you avoid.
Bit by bit the big scary monster you’ve created in your head becomes smaller and smaller. Until you see it for what it actually is: just a thought in your mind that has no actual power.
Of course, you might spend some intimate time with a lady and she might respond in a way that hurts your feelings. But there is an opportunity there, as well. You realize that whatever she has said, or how she has responded that hurts your feelings is just her opinion and not an unchanging truth about you. If your opinion is that you are fine as you are (or you can learn/evolve to be a better partner) then it is just her opinion versus yours. People are incompatible for all kinds of reasons. Why should her opinion on an incompatibility mean something consequential about you?
You might consider looking into cognitive behavioral therapy to begin to unwind some of the anxiety that is keeping you from being your full self and enjoying the life you want to live. Another useful approach is mindfulness meditation, as it trains us to recognize thoughts and feelings as simply thoughts and feelings by watching them arise and pass away but avoiding identifying with them as "who we are." It can be incredibly beneficial.
I promise that once you’re on the other side of this anxiety you’ll wonder in amazement about how you could have cared about it at all.
In the meantime, yes, do PE. I hope you eventually end up with the penis size you fantasize about. And don’t do it because there is something wrong with you. Do it because you are on a lifelong journey of becoming a better and better version of you.
But please, please don’t wait to begin your romantic life until you get the penis of your dreams, because even you have a big penis you will still need a lot of practice to be good at using your penis and pleasing a woman sexually, whatever your size. So get out there and start practicing!
I would have to try meditation or other techniques, because they could help me a lot.
I myself am aware that it is quite silly for this complex to dominate your life. I know that many people, seeing the problems that exist today, see my complex and think that I am quite stupid for letting a detail like this be so important, even myself, when I manage to overcome it and see it from the other side, I may think so.
With the exercise a don’t want a big penis, I just want a size that I can show without any type of complex and have a full life. With an average size or slightly above average I would be happy. Maybe at 6x5’5, he would already be the happiest man in the world
Little by little reading experiences and comments here in the forum I am losing my fear of being with a girl because of my size, I trust that it won’t take long to do so. Maybe my 5’1-5’5x4’4 NBP is enough to satisfy, I would like to have had a 6x5, with that I would be happy.
I am very aware that, as happens to many people, all this is a cause of comparing oneself with pormo but sometimes it is something that you cannot avoid. This comparison makes you think that everyone around you has measurements like those of the actors and that you are the only one who has measurements lower than them, when it is very possible that the opposite is true.
