Anyone know good ways to PE secretly?

Sounds toxic to me. It’s not my life though

fdersby8 Yeah that is one I my concerns is just ousting me to everyone I know, especially at work as I have had people do that to me before throwing all my laundry out at my job to get me embarrassed or fired. I will take our advice brother. Thanks.

Brother im sorry but if she do that, you just have to leave her…
If she makes fun of you doing PE she is not ment to be your wife.

Sounds toxic to me too…
This is not a healthy relationship.

Okay, “he” shifts the focus a bit.

Two things that come immediately to mind:

A) expectation of discomfort at accomodating you if you are any larger

B) jealousy over your increase in size

Have you considered suggesting he join you in PE?

For what it’s worth, Mrs. Andy was nearby when I replied last night, and I mentioned your problem to her. She agreed that the PE thing is a symptom of a deeper relationship problem.

That you’re even *thinking* that your partner might try that shows how toxic your situation is.

You need to start preparing an exit strategy. Maybe you can save the relationship, but often, just trying to convince the other party that there’s a problem is enough to bring it all tumbling down. You need to plan for some money and a place to live. Now.

I seem to always wind up saying that, but I’ve seen too many relationships go bad over the years. “Be Prepared” isn’t just for boy scouts.

Andy, thanks again for your points. You have some good ones.

So to your first thought he… Well he has not let me penetrate for about 4 - 5 years. He already finds my current size too uncomfortable and does not want to allow that anymore.

The second point. As far as size goes he is the biggest and only one bigger than me I have ever been with. Probably 8.75-9 BPEL give or take. Although he and I are pretty much the same EG.

Anyways. He has always been more conservative and shy about ANYTHING body. Nakedness, etc. but I am not sure.

A major issue is acceptance of each others differences, trust, and just not treating every aspect of life as though it is the end of the world situations.

I have suggested before therapy, medications etc, as bipolar and other mood disorders run rampant in his family, but nothing ever come of that.

Again the active violence has subsided after years of work with each other and I just don’t want to reignite anything so I do fuel toxicity by walking on eggshells to avoid causing conflict.

…it is a lot I guess and we were kind of thrust together once I was kicked out on the streets when my family found out.

So there are a lot of factors that I guess I just originally did not want to disclose. Not trying to not “be a man” but just. Yeah.

Yeah I cannot save up sadly. I am the sole bread winner but have little control over finances overall. Just getting them. I tried a few times to get out but usually Stockholm sets in and I return because I feel I am the culprit or criminal and so pretend things will change or get better.

For the most part things did get better but obviously things are still not. Normal.

Are you sure this is a good healthy relationship?

The problem as I view it is that it was discussed to begin with. Personally I don’t think that there needs do be full disclosure on all things as long as we’re not talking about a betrayal, BUT since it was discussed and your partner said no, as a matter of trust I think I think you have to disclose it.

Personally I have a private office and have made it clear that I require privacy for what I call periods of convalescence, which I explain as personal time to work on my things.

You can be nice about how you present it, but then the hard part is just stay nice and don’t buckle until they capitulate.

Good luck.

So that’s off the table already, getting bigger won’t make any difference. You’re not the only one here with that problem, by the way; Ganesh10in and his partner had to work that out before they got married.

After seven years, I wouldn’t expect anything to change now.

The sad fact is, even when you can afford therapy and they cooperate, it seldom changes things in the long term.

Sounds like what’s commonly called an “abusive relationship.”

That gives a certain amount of bonding and a lot of common history. And after seven years, it’s normal, if not exactly comfortable or desirable. Changing things is going to cost you. Money, peace of mind, friendships, maybe even some self-respect.

This is 2022. You’re not a kid any more, and you have time to think things through before acting.

You’re not the first man to get stuck in a bad relationship. They thread through your whole life.

Sigh. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people, too. You’re by far not the only one to go back.

The good side: you’ve left before; you know what the problems were, and you know why you want back. You paid a lot for that experience; now you need to make use of it.

Next time you leave, you need to stay gone. What is is going to take for that to happen? That is an absolutely serious question.

Andy. I am not sure what it will take. I kinda got complacent and settled into the cycle… But I do need to figure it out I guess. You are totally right. I am not a kid anymore so I got some thoughts to think and actions to act on. Thanks Andy.

Here make it simple; is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? Remember you only have one.

Another thought -

If you tell a woman you’re working on making your dick bigger, she will feel like she’s supposed to reassure you of your size. Just like if a woman asks you if her butt looks big in certain jeans. This situation might be a little more complex than that though. Wishing you luck! I spent several years while in the military doing this in secret. It’s totally doable, but sooo much easier when you can just be super open about it. I’m super open with my current gf about it. I pretty much just jokingly tell her I’m out of my fucking mind and make a joke about it. She sees me wearing an extender practically all day with multiple dick pumps laying around the house. If anything she just finds it funny.

Jimmybob. You are right man. I do NOT want to live this way forever… Thanks for perspective.

Thanks 9937 for the well wishes and hopefully things turn out like that.