Edging

Ash, you’re indeed doing it correctly. When I edge in the morning I also feel horny the whole day long, like I need to get rid of my load, I don’t know about the urge to urinate, I suppose you could call it that but I just have the urge to ejaculate.

I don’t think you could lose the semen by urinating though, I’m not a dick doctor but I suppose it couldn’t. My hornyness doesn’t go away after I take a pee so I guess it stays there.

The whole point of edging is to take complete control of your dick, and master the control of ejaculation. At first my dick was in control, but after I edged for a while I decided whether to cum or not. So this is great against premature ejaculation of course. Plus when you do shoot, when you absolutely couldn’t hold it back anymore,you’re gonna shoot like you’ve never shot before..

Edging is really good, that combined with kegels gives me total control over my cock.

I can orgasm 3 times, then ejaculate and orgasm once more.

Ash, yes, edging takes much willpower. But it becomes easier and easier over time—at least, as long as you maintain the discipline. Basically, nature has designed us to ejaculate and get the “business” over with. First past the post, I guess. You are reprogramming yourself. I find that when I let slip in the discipline for some time, it is quite easy to fall back in the program of ejaculating rather quickly. I also find that after edging for 20 or 30 minutes or so, the urge to ejaculate subsides for a while. Then it returns. This is just my experience.

As for the urge to urinate. I find that if I do get up and urinate, again, the urge to ejaculate subsides significantly. I think you can go as long as you want, if you do this thing correctly.

Advanced technique: Okay, I’ve mentioned this before in other posts, and I know that only a few are interested in it. This is understandable. Any way, in addition to edging, I also practice ejaculation control by not ejaculating every time I have sex or masturbate. Talk about discipline! You may be able to trick yourself into thinking, okay, if I don’t cum for an hour or so, I’ll experience more pleasure and my partner will certainly experience more pleasure. But to forgo shooting your wad at all during sex—well, that’s beyond hardcore. But here’s the thing: It’s all about the reprogramming again. At times I’m able to get into a grove where my body (and mind) forgets about ejaculating, yet my sex drive and erections remain very strong. You do have to ejaculate every once and a while; it all depends on the individual. There are other benefits from this kind of ejaculation control. One of them is increased energy, including sexual energy! Some suggest that doing this raises testosterone levels. It does raise your energy level.

Edging is a great feel ! But it’s very bad for me :( . I’m becoming an addict because of edging. Plus I always fail with my edging process and end up masturbating but this normally happens after 4 to 5 attempts of edging, which makes me masturbate like a horse and get that really amazing feeling.! Edging got me addicted to porn websites as I’m getting used to edge while watching porn videos. So whenever I check a porn website out I feel like I wanna start edging, and I really don’t wanna masturbate everyday but can’t help it currently :P

On the other hand I noticed that edging and masturbating got me back my hard ons in the morning which I consider a good thing.

I have one more question:

You’ve been edging for some time (I’ve been edging for a couple of days now) and then decide that you need to ejaculate. If you do ejaculate, does it mean that your dick will go back to its pre-edging state, thus making it much harder to edge next time? Or will your body not totally reset itself as quickly? (I’m thinking that it would suck if you spent weeks reprogramming yourself just to have it all undone in a day or something like that.)

I’m just concerned that I’d lose all the hard work I’d put in until now, if I decided to masturbate until ejaculation.

You’ve been edging for some time (I’ve been edging for a couple of days now) and then decide that you need to ejaculate. If you do ejaculate, does it mean that your dick will go back to its pre-edging state, thus making it much harder to edge next time? Or will your body not totally reset itself as quickly? (I’m thinking that it would suck if you spent weeks reprogramming yourself just to have it all undone in a day or something like that.)

In my experience, no. If you go back to a routine of ejaculating within five or ten minutes, or whatever, then, yes, you’ll lose the progress you’ve made, not entirely but to some extent. But as long as you keep up the discipline of edging, you’re body will habituate to the new time frame.

By the way, this DOESN’T mean that EVERY time you have sex or masturbate you must edge. It’s okay to have a quickie from time to time. Only, don’t let this become the norm.

Your genitalia and the internal organs that serve it are designed and programmed to facilitate ejaculation. They are also designed to re-set themselves, so to speak, to make the next ejaculation possible. For some that takes longer than it does for others. That is just the way it is.

Now, here is what I don’t get, guys, having learned to edge before a lot of you were born: Why is the decision to ejaculate or not such a terrible problem for you?? Yes we all have a refractory period. Yes our cocks tend to turle up right after we get off. And, yes, it all comes back into place later. Nothing disappears. You don’t lose your gains. All the vital fluids are replaced and you can edge again the next time you feel like it.

What some of you are missing here - and I am not ranting at you, Ash, - is that you do your prostates and seminal vessicles a big favor when you don’t edge for days, weeks, on end but do blow the load.

Go ahead. Edge your heads off. But don’t whine when at age 45 or 60 you are coping with chronic prostatitis because you did not make it a habit earlier of having a normal ejaculation now and then when you did edge your heads off.

If you truly master this technique you won’t need to stop penetration. I don’t.

Avocet8,

Perhaps I don’t entirely understand your post. But if you are suggesting that ejaculation control, in the sense of not ejaculating every time you have sex (for example, ejaculating every third or fourth time you have sex), is bad for you, then millennia of experience seems to be against you. Edging and this kind of ejaculation control are old practices. They are understood by some cultures as being essential to health and vitality in men, in particular as we get older. The idea is to ejaculate only as often as is necessary to prevent an unhealthy build up energy (libido, chi, whatever you want to call it). Ejaculating more than this dissipates energy. As a general rule, the younger we are the more we need to ejaculate. In an 18 year old male, this may be every time he has sex. But as we get older, this need declines.

And perhaps I don’t understand your post either. But let’s talk.

I don’t agree at all with the notion of built-up “energy,” the perceived need, to build it up over long periods of time for the sake of having more “energy”, which is in fact very often just sexual tension. Short time - a day or two or three, no problem.

The reason I do not believe in the long-term theory is this: I had raging prostatitis many times over a period of 5 years, spent a bundle getting rid of it, and suffered a whole lot through that time. Most events were traceable to periods of time when I was very involved with my work and/or traveling and paying no attention at all to getting off now and then. I know from a whole lot of sexual experience that ejaculating only saps you for a very short duration. Yes, your libido or your chi or your quonszu is depleted after sex or masturbation but normally you bounce back very quickly if you are sexually fit. So what if you feel like a nap, or you don’t want sex again for some period of hours, even many?

I would much rather deal with a short period of feeling sapped after ejaculating, and the physical satisfaction that comes with that which ain’t torture, than deal with clogged prostatic ducts - and worse and more likely when you are older - clogged and bacterially-infected ducts. There is ample evidence in studies that men who consistently have frequent ejaculations (what’s ‘frequent’?) when younger, encounter fewer prostate problems later on in life so long as they continue to get off in some regular way.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. Edge all you want. It is super fun. Just get off now and then and forget about preserving your quonszu, long term. You won’t give a damn about your quonszu when you want very desperately to pee and cannot no matter what you do or how long you stand there.

Give your prostates some exercise, too, is all I am saying.

Avocet8,

I’ve never been a person who believes in a “one size fits all” theory for just about anything. (Well, we all have to breath, etc.) More importantly, given your health experience, I would never challenge the decision you’ve made for yourself. However, the type of ejaculation control I’m talking about is not the “long-term theory” you’ve suggested is medically dangerous. I know there are some who say that they have stopped ejaculating completely; they have frequent sex, but they no longer ejaculate at all. Again, to each their own. But I know that I could never practice something like that, and I would be very concerned about the potential health risks involved.

What I’m discussing is more like the “short time—a day or two or three” you mention. Put simply, it is not necessary to ejaculate every time you have sex (or masturbate), and, furthermore, there are some very nice advantages to not doing so. I’ll get to those advantages in a moment. In practice, there is no formula that can be followed. It’s a matter of getting to know one’s body, and it depends on the frequency of one’s sexual activity. But let’s say you have sex once a day. Then, whereas an 18 year old man may “need” to get off every day, or very nearly every day, an older man (say, 30+) may not. Again, depending on relevant factors, one might only ejaculate on Wednesdays and Sundays (the latter being a day of rest!). Or, if you are having sex many times in one day, you may only blow your load after the last sexual encounter that day—a kind of grand finale.

So what are the advantages of this kind of ejaculation control? There are at least the following three. First, as I mentioned, it increases your energy. I don’t mean that it merely prevents you from experiencing the short dip in energy we all undergo after ejaculating. It’s more radical than that. Yes, the drop in energy experienced after ejaculating is usually very short lived, and it is often well deserved and pleasant and good. But when I have sex (for some length of time) and don’t ejaculate, I almost always feel supercharged. It’s a very good and clean energy, and it is a higher level of energy than is typical for me. (I should add, I exercise regularly and eat well and am in very good shape, especially for someone my age.) By “clean” energy I mean that it is without the negative effects some experience from, say, caffeine. I’m very caffeine sensitive, and if I drink a cup of coffee I usually feel like shit. The kind of energy I’m talking about is nothing like this. This energy stays with me the whole day. Some have suggested that this actually raises the testosterone level. And all I can say is I “feel” like my testosterone level is up. For example, I’m much more productive in the gym. Now people pay good money taking all sorts of supplements and undergoing all sorts of hormone therapies, which, I do not doubt, are often useful and worth the expense. But if you can get at least a good part of this effect simply from holding back that “happy ending,” and if it doesn’t cost anything—then, why not?

As the Chinese master Lieu King instructs, the man should “penetrate [the woman] when the energy is weak and withdraw when it is steady and strong.” And, “He who enters strong and withdraws weak will perish even when he has had the best destiny.”

For me, a second and maybe a third day of sex without ejaculating are also good. But after that, I find that the increased energy starts to become excessive (or “unclean”). I become very aggressive and irritable. (Curiously, both indicative of raised testosterone levels.) This is when I know that I need to blow.

Continued …

The second benefit of this kind of ejaculation control is that it can be a big help in trying to recondition yourself to last longer during sex. Consider it edging plus. By edging you can habituate yourself to longer and longer durations of intercourse before ejaculating. But the physical and psychological goal is still to get off. By practicing the discipline of not ejaculating every time you have sex, you can actually condition yourself psychologically, and even physically, not to expect (or even want) to ejaculate. At the ideal limit of this practice, you simply decide if and when you want to ejaculate. I don’t pretend to have reached this ideal limit, but I’ve certainly seen myself make progress toward it.

The third benefit is something that came up and was discussed in detail in another thread. Some practice ejaculation control as a means to transform sex from something profane into something sacred, even mystical. Again, I don’t mean feeling a little extra buzz. I’m talking hardcore traditions and practices (sometimes for couples, other times for groups, i.e. orgies) where sex becomes a means to spiritual enlightenment. The basic idea here is to control the rhythm of the sexual act, much like you control the breath in meditation. With both, you attempt to slow everything down and transition into a trance state in which you (so the theory goes) transcend the sense of self and instead experience the unity of everything. During orgasm, there is also often a loss of the sense of self. But ejaculation would bring this state to an end. The idea here is to make it last. I also suspect that these religious-sexual traditions also employ this ejaculation control as a way to distinguish this “spiritual” sex from regular sex as a means to procreation.

I have one more observation I’d like to make. Again, I don’t mean to challenge the decision you’ve made for yourself, in light of your own experience. But I’m suspicious of your suggestion that not ejaculating from time to time is unhealthy in the way that you point out for this one very specific reason. Here I am not talking about having sex and never ejaculating, which, I agree, is probably not a good thing. I’m talking about not having sex and never ejaculating. As is probably evident, I’m somewhat of a student of comparative religion. One of the things I’m interested in are traditions of celibacy, both past and present. (Though I’m not interested in practicing this myself!) There are people who succeed in such a life—that is, without secret sexual relations, and even without masturbating. And to the best of my knowledge, there is no evidence of increased cases of prostatitis among these individuals or communities. Moreover, the practice of celibacy is both global and ancient. So if there was such a correlation, my hunch is that it would be evident by now.

Thanks everyone for all your replies.

The thing is, when I do edging, I shouldn’t ejaculate at all? Even after I edge for 30-40 minutes?

Also when I have sex sometimes I don’t mind holding back and not ejaculating but my girlfriend likes it, as much as possible and the more the cum the better she says. :)
Will that affect all my efforts in edging, and bring me back ejaculating quickly?

Also I tried edging but, the thing is after I contract the PC muscle a lot I lose my erection, and when I do that 3-4 times, I can’t get erect for a period of time. Is this normal?

Sorry for all the questions by the way.

Oh and also when should I contract the PC muscle? Should I try doing that while having sex/masturbating continuously - or just before I ejaculate?

Thanks again everyone, hope what I’m asking makes sense.

Should I warm-up before edging?

I have been instinctively doing this for a while, but avocet8’s posts have me slightly worried.

For example I usually masturbate at least once a day, usually sessions between 30 mins and an hour. However, I only try to actually blow every 3 days or so. This makes the orgasms much more intense when I do, and I shoot a lot more. For example, I may ‘edge’ on Thursday and Friday afternoon, as to be ready to shoot a big load and be really extra horny on a Friday or Saturday night.

It seems ok to me, as long as you clean your system and ejaculate at least once every 2 or 3 days. Is this a fair assumption?