I'm glad I'm not a pumper

So, the other day I was packing for a trip and decided to bring my traction device I bought before finding this site. In my haste I forgot to zip my bag up and when my friend saw it, he picked it up raising it for everyone to see saying, “HEY DICK117, WHAT’S THIS?” All I said was,”I’ll take that” and I guess from the way I said it, everyone decided to leave it at that. I’m just glad it wasn’t a big 12 inch Swedish penis pump with a picture of Ron Jeremy emblazoned on the front. Maybe I should just stick to jelqing.

Looking back, I should have just told them it was a key chain or zipped up my fucking bag.

Some friend, huh? I’ve had something similar where some dumbass took a mail package I just picked up out of my hands, opened it up, pulled out the porno tape I ordered out in front of everyone asking “hey, what’s this?” with the cock ring I also ordered going flying in the other direction of the room but no one saw. I took it and said “Smooth job dumbass, I guess you’ll never find out because you ain’t watching it.” The dude wouldn’t leave me alone for weeks begging me to watch it. I let all the other girls and guys in the barracks watch it but he missed out. I should have beat his ass.

Well it could have been worse, it could have been a huge monster dong and a jar of Anal Lube.

Yeah id say if it happens again try to be quick on the spot and say keychain, stretching hamstrings, something. Or say “it made my dick about 8 inches bigger than yours, thats what :) “