Man, I tried to have sex last night but I was limp

If you want to stay on SSRI’s then it might be worth discussing with the doc switching over to Zoloft. It’s the only one that doesn’t significantly increase prolactin. It’s also has some dopamineric activity too.

I’m not speaking from experience here btw, I just read a lot.

Not being able to get it up once in a while is quite common. Drugs may be a problem. But maybe you are simply picky and haven’t yet met a type of girl who lights your fire.

It depends on the sexuality, intelligence, sensitivity and compassion level of the girl.

Some girls will not tolerate this in the least bit- especially if they are really horny and it happens on first time sex with them.

They might quickly conclude that you have a problem or that they are not exciting enough for you (in which case they feel offended) and cut you loose.

The smart and confident ones realize that it may just be a one time fluke and will therefore

be more understanding of nervousness and first time sex anxiety. Such understanding will insure that they give you at least one or two more tries before they throw in the towel on you.

Lots of good advice here. Make sure you tell your doctor about the side affects you are having. Shiver may have the key - different meds.

Try Flax Seed Oil instead of paxil or anything prescription for that matter. It works for my anxiety and is available over the counter. It’s very cheap($10) and it also helps with your circulation.

LEM -

Be careful in heeding the advice of members who are skeptical of certain pharmaceuticals. A lot of misinformation is out there (both in popular press and in public opinion). But most of it is unfounded. I am sure glad to here that paxil has helped you out.

As far your erection problems. It happens. It could be a variety of things, but the majority of the time it’s psychological in nature. Sometimes the harder you try to have an erection the harder it becomes. Also, its most common for this type of thing to happen in situations like yours…..one night stands, or hook-ups with litte or no intamacy or past sexual history between the two partners.

Just relax, enjoy the moment and don’t obsess over it. It has happened to me twice in my life (I’m 22) and yeah it sucks, but don’t blame yourself and know that your going to have many many more sexual experiences with a happy ending for both. :)

Welcome to Thunders.

I can relate to the ‘first time with a new woman’ issues mentioned here. Couple that with usually meeting them after a few beers, then repeating the same process over and over it can get to the point where you’re convinced there’s a major problem when there really is non at all other than learned behaviour.

I’m not recommending prescription drugs here, but I found using cialis to ‘force’ the issue despite what my brain is doing, helps to build a success mind set, then after that I don’t need anything at all, and on following encounters can enjoy getting to know her better, making the whole experience more natural and sexy.

Be careful of those meems playing hell with your thinking.

Oops, correctly Bitch slapped by a mod, sorry about that, I’ll improve.

One thing I noticed and which may help. If you get nervous or anything at all. Just don’t allow the girl to put off her clothes completly. You know what I mean? Just pull up her shirt so you can handle her brest get down her pants and all the little stuff you can do. And yes get your socks on. I dont know why but it makes me more relax on first sight. Maybe its the imagination stuff going on, just cant see everything but feel it. Try it maybe it helps :-) . By the way, try meditation too. Nothing beats the relaxed state for having good sex. :-)

How often do you masturbate? In particularly before you had well almost had sex? If you masturbate too much this can most definitely be a problem. You shouldn’t masturbate a few days before having sex. Not that this is a rule for everyone. Considering you haven’t had sex before you will want to adhere to this rule. I know that before I had sex, my masturbating was quite ruff. Too ruff in fact, sex was much softer experience. So take it easy on yourself.

Deadeye is right, masturbation can play a role. For me it’s sort of the opposite — I tend to get more frequent and easier erections the more often I masturbate or have sex (within reasonable limits).

I have to agree. IF this becomes a repeated problem that causes more and more anxiety — and I don’t think it will, but IF it does — you might want to consider popping a viagra before your first time with a particular girl. After you’ve “succeeded” once with a woman, there’s little anxiety or pressure during future encounters, and no chemical assistance should be needed…

Now that I think of it, I hadnt masturbated a few days before trying to have sex-which isnt normal for me. My sex drive was below normal before hooking up with this girl, and has remained low. I’ve also become alot sicker which indicates that I in fact was coming down with the flu prior to my experiance. Also to the guy who mentioned that I play tricks with my mind, I did in fact try to use Jedi mind tricks during the encounter but came up short handed. Also, this chick didnt really “light my fire” that much, but then again if I we’re with a much better looking girl then I would have been much more nervous. The lights we’re off and when the girl knows how to touch right I’m not picky at all.

Oh I see you were with a fat ugly chick. Had the lights off and was trying to imagine someone else? That can be very difficult. You need to be married for like 10 years before you can pull off maneuvers like that. And I still don’t recommend it. Never think of someone else while having sex. It makes for horrible sex.

Ha ha I wouldn’t call her a fat ugly chick, but she did show me a pic of her naked a few nights before that nearly made me sick. She looks much better with her clothes on and when I was trying to stick it her pussy did look nice. I’m actually into sorta chubby girls, I like them better than too skinny ones. Another thing is that I’m not too flexible and I was trying to fuck in missionary position which was hard for me because I couldn’t bend all the way. Still though as horny as I am I shoulda been rock hard.

I hear ya I like them a little chubby myself. My solution in dealing with chubby girls is letting them keep some cloths on. Like a tank top is good or whatever shirt she was wearing. I don’t know if I can go as far as to say I like them better than skinny. Maybe you don’t either judging by your incident, and your words.