Need Your Advice, People

I remember when I was virgin and was with the girl I had sex for the first time.

I was with her the whole day and I was going to sleep in her place (she lived in a different town). I was really nervous because I thought that if I had sex with her I might not be as good as the previous guy and if I didn’t she might take it the wrong way. So when we got back to her place, after watching a movie I started kissing her. Man, I didn’t even know the basics ( I mean I have read and discussed a lot of things but never done nearly anything) so I tried to start undressing her while kissing and caressing her. Things were going good, I had taken almost everything off her except her underwear. When I tried to take this off, she stopped me and whispered something (she was really turned on and the way she was breathing with me being very anxious was making it really tough to listen to her) which I didn’t quite hear. I thought she pointed that I did something wrong, so I dropped the idea of getting her underwear off and kept kissing/caressing until later. I tried again and she stopped me again. I got frustrated and thought that she didn’t want it for some reason. We started talking and then fell asleep. What really happened, as she explained the day after was that she was afraid of having sex the first day I stayed over her place (it was about 3rd date or something) because I might think badly about her (no true at all, but she didn’t quite know what I was about to think, so it didn’t bother me) I explained it to her, that it was something natural and something that two people who are in love are bound to do sometime so I didn’t really care if it happened in the first date or in the 5th, it wouldn’t say anything to me about her, just that she wants it.

Which brings us to the next night. This time I knew that I would be able to go all the way. And I did, but the problem was I discovered that I couldn’t help but ejaculate after the first 5 thrusts. Which was bad and I kept doing this for let’s say the next 50 times we had sex. As I found out later (when this was fixed) I was simply anxious. At the beginning I was anxious about whether I was going to be good enough or not (which subconsciously led to premature ejaculation) and then when it happened for the first time I got more and more anxious. I stopped ejaculating too fast (I went normal and sometimes more than normal in stamina) when I stopped thinking about pleasing her. She was a special case, not every girl would put up with such performance, but we had more in our relationship than just sex, so she was patient and helpful with my problem, but even if she wasn’t there would be someone later on the road to make me realise that.

End of story.

I now know for sure, when you like a girl, take what you want from her. For her seeing you enjoying this is something that makes her feel good too. From that point and forward you can get to know what she likes and what she doesn’t like and work on how to please her more.

Stop being nervous, it’s sex is a natural thing. Stop wondering about your size because even if she had bigger guys she is with YOU now and her staying with you (for how long really ? ) even when you don’t have sex means that she likes you for more reasons than this…

As for how to stop being nervous. Relax when you are with her, concentrate on what you like on her body, think about getting everything she has on her body and then move towards this direction. You will see that your erection will come naturally. Focus on her body, not yours.

OK, I think I wrote too much, sorry for that !

Thank you guys for very encouraging feedback , I really appreciate it , It means alot to me :)

Next time I’m with her I think ill have to try something to get my penis up (it’s just too deep in my mind to fight), hope my anxiety will disappear after first time .

The reason of my incofidence is : she said that when she had sex with her other BF’s it hurt her alot , most of the times . So I think that my 6” (pressed against the bone) 4.5”(grith) will be insignificant , God knows what size her other BF’s were !

Tell her the truth, but in a good way - you get nervous because you don’t want to screw it up and that makes you keep your distance.

If you hold her away from you she WILL start thinking she is not attractive, and she WILL be upset about you not making advances and she WILL dump you out of sheer frustration.

No, don’t “try”, do not put effort in this, just focus on what you like on her and the rest will come naturally.

Regarding size, you are just fine, don’t worry about it.

Yeah, that size should not be an issue. If her previous BF’s were causing her pain, it was more likely a lubrication issue than size. It takes a real whopper to cause pain I think. If she was having lubrication issues, this might also indicate nerves on her part too.

I say explain the situation to her. If she is worth having she will understand and probably think that it is cool to induct you into adulthood. Any girl worth having would give you quite a few episodes of fumbling aroud and learning what is what. Just make sure you give her the attention she needs as well. From the way your note is written I doubt that will be a problem.