My Ten Tens in Southern California (picking up online babes that are way out of my league)
So right out of the gate and just starting the whole online dating thing —- I struck gold. Wasn’t sure whether I’d be retiring in the Midwest, the Pacific Northwest, or Southern California. New to Match.com, so checked out California first. Put my old zip code in with a search radius of twenty miles, and asked to see all the women who were 58 to 60 years old. Damn, over 1,300 profiles came up. So that first night, skimming through those hundreds of photos, picked ten profiles to read. Those ten were definitely all tens — beautiful women who had aged extremely well and taken care of their gorgeous bodies. Oh well, doesn’t hurt to dream.
The very next morning was surprised to see that one of the ten had messaged me. How had that happened ? Oh, when you call up someone’s profile, they see your photo and that you’ve checked them out. Damn, this babe was one of the two hottest looking of the ten. Her message went something like this, “Wow, you’ve really kept in shape. Hard to find a man who does at our age. Meet me at eight tonight at ‘this’ restaurant right near the beach. Later, we’ll take off our shoes and walk hand in hand along the ocean in the moonlight”. Well shit, that’s going to be hard to do when I’m two thousand miles away from the ocean. So just as I was starting to compose a message, she sent me another. Reading closer, she saw where I lived, but said the invitation would stay open for whenever I visited California. Hot damn.
A few days later, started getting messages from nearly every one of the ten women I’d checked out. Their messages were all pretty similar and kind of went like this, “Well, I see you read my profile on ‘this’ date. Was waiting to hear from you. Didn’t you like what saw? Let me know if there’s a problem so I can make my profile better. Would really appreciate hearing from you.”. So damn, it seems that very hot women are intrigued or maybe just bothered when some guy checks them out but then doesn’t follow up with a message. Learned something valuable, and over the next six months only hit on the hottest women by checking their profile and then waiting for them to contact me. It really does work.
Actually kept up messaging conversations with several of the women. Thought I’d get around to taking a trip out west. A few were real characters, and their messages got very suggestive. One gardened as a hobby. She said that when I visited we’d lie down together in the grass under her shade tree, and I could enjoy the intoxicating scent of her garden. Don’t believe that she was talking daffodils. Another said that every morning we’d make love in bed, and she’d mark me by leaving her scent on my face. That way, any woman I met would know that I was taken, and her scent would make me hungry all day for more of her love. Wow.
But now the best. Got quite a scathing message from the blond who was the hottest of the ten. It was nearly a whole page long. Only remember a few lines that kind of went like this, “Just what is your game buster? Are pulling some kind of scam or what? “. Couldn’t understand why someone would get so bothered that I’d looked at her profile. Almost was going to ignore her message, and just chalk it all up to having looked at a crazy woman’s profile. But instead, wrote a very nice letter explaining my intentions. We got to be friends. She said that she also exercised daily and had a complete home gym. Only difference is that I exercise alone while she has a personal trainer. But she invited me for an ‘exercise date’ where “we’d go and go and go, until we couldn’t go anymore”. After showering, she’d put some steaks on the grill and open some wine. Just the kind of date that I knew I would be ‘up’ for.
But then I did some home detective work. Found out that this woman was formerly a ‘B list’ Hollywood actress, and noted for her sexy voice. She had transformed herself in to a very successful entrepreneur who ran several companies. Had homes all over the world, and still hobnobbed with Hollywood entertainers. Couldn’t believe that someone like her would actually be on match.com. Definitely WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. So never have taken her up on that exercise date. My sons always say, “Dad, go out and see her”. Nah, never will. But we’ve remained friends. She actually sent me a short note just yesterday. It’s nice to know her, but by now we both know that’s all it’ll ever be.