Little update:
I started a therapy yesterday and it was great to talk to someone competent about it.
He suggested to stop completely the pills.
I went today to a tantric masssage salon.
It consist to a sensual massage made by a very beautiful young and experienced Russian girl.
She was not only very beautiful but also very kind, smart and extremely gentle.
I told her directly my problem; depression, not being able to perform, etc
She started the massage on my back and head. That was amazing.
At some point I turn on my back and she started touching my penis.
I had absolutely no anxiety performance as it’s a massage with nothing else to prove.
Despite that it was impossible to get hard at the begging.
I was very aware of my sensations as my therapist recommended.
It was like a battle in my body and head.
It was like there is a energy blockage.
Sometimes I got hard, then back to limp, then hard, then limp.
I had a great time with that beautiful girl though. She told me very kind words and took extra time to tell me she was touched about my story and she is certain I will go back to normal.
Tonight I feel still emasculated, depressed, and sad about that , but I feel this girl was like an angel alleviating my life a little bit .