Porn and how long to detox

Hey, this is an interesting idea that never really occurred to me…so the lube doesn’t give you problems with the condom falling off? I’d imagine that it would.

I second Scienceguy’s response… putting lube inside the condom could make it slip off or actually cause it to put excessive force on the tip when you’re thrusting into her. I broke two condoms that way when I first started dating my current girlfriend. The second and third time we had sex, the condoms broke and I accidentally blew my load into her. Was awkward =) Be careful!!

The ‘lube before condom’ idea works well but you only need to use a tiny amount just to cover the glans. The condom then slides on the glans but still sticks to the shaft.

God damn I fucking hate condoms.

For once I can give a reply that could help. What everyone said was good but I had this problem earlier this year so I will give my 2 sense. First off it’s great that you have a girl that’s understanding enough like my girl was. Knowing that she’s sticking with you when she could easily move on to the next one should give you some confidence that there’s no pressure and things will work out. I’m 18 had my first girlfriend 5 months ago, we are still together. Before this date I had never hooked up with a girl sober, always random drunk nights, I was so inexperienced that I didn’t know if I was kissing right and was worried about that lol. I had never had a girl touch my penis, so the thought that she might think it’s small worried me and also contributed to nervousness, making it hard to become erect. I had jacked off to porn at least once a day since 15. Now when we first started kissing every day, and even the first time I saw her of the day, I would get an 85% erection usually, however after going out for a week or 2 she tried to blow me and I could not get more than a 35% erection. I thought I was gay or something, because she tried 2 more times that week and it never worked. Then she got naked for me and asked me to fuck her, and I got somewhat of a boner, but when my pants came off I couldn’t get anything. The condom was definitely a boner killer too. Then I read online about how porn desensitizes you. One thing I read which I would bet money on is true that many people probably don’t know is that watching numerous videos is a lot more detrimental than watching one. So definitely pick 1 long video and stick with it, no jumping video to video. This created stimulus in your brain that is unrealistic, and can’t be captured in real life sex, unless you’ve got like 2 strippers talking dirty to you with there boobs out lol, it happened to me before I met my girl, had the biggest hard on ever. So if after you cure your porn habits, which I would recommend stopping for at least 3 months to be completely cured, if you choose to watch a video or 2 a week, make it 1 video at a time. After a week of no porn or masturbating, my girl made me cum with a blow job. After a month, she took my virginity, and the first time was awful, I was barely hard and so nervous, putting the condom on was such a hassle. What i learned to do is not worry about how good your going to be and if your going to get an erection, this is a guarentee to throw you off. The girl your with is choosing to have sex with you, without any knowledge of how good you are, and she already knows you have the problem, so you have nothing to worry about. Think about how special the moment is and how great it is that you have another human being that wants to do this with you. Have the condom open already to put it on right away, and have some lube in it. I found KY helped me a lot in my first few times because the stickiness of the condom was another factor to kill my erection, but the lube made it feel more realistic. Never have the mindset that you hope you get a boner. Only think about how sexy it is to have the naked girl in front of you, envision her moans, and how good it will feel giving her pleasure with your erect penis. Once you get it done a few times you will never have a problem again. When she gets on top play with her boobs to get decently hard, and once your hard pull her towards you while you thrust so her mouth is right by your ear, and the moans will be enough to keep you at your hardest, however not busting will be an even harder task ;)

A nice wall of text :) but I liked this part, I never read up on anything porn related but I totally believe this. Good post

A little update for anyone who’s interested.

Last night met up with my girl.. I was really looking forward to it after last time failing to get an erection and her leaving (she didn’t leave because of that moreso because she had work in the morning).

In any event we had a short dinner - conversation was great and fun - we went back to her place and started making out on the bed. In no time the clothes were off. I got an erection pretty quick smart so that’s all good haha. I wasn’t too worried about that. Instead of even trying to have sex she decided to pull me off.. It was kind of funny because she has tried before and I always tell her to stop because I don’t want to blow my load. I tried to stop her but she wasn’t having a bar of it. In any event, she was pulling me off for quite a while but I was very very relaxed and I felt like I could last forever. It was not until I sort of flexed the pc muscle to sort of trigger things did I feel like cumming. Big big confidence builder. I eventually blew my load and it felt terrific. She had the biggest grin on her face.

She then had her turn and I was fingering her and eventually she relaxed enough and she orgasmed as well. Good good times. I am on top of the world haha.

I think going forward we’ll feel more and more comfortable and I will be good to go! Massive confidence builder. You have no idea the amount of stress/emphasis I put on getting an erection and it is just such a relief to be partially over that hurdle. I’ll say it again, I’m on top of the world!

Sidenote: Another confidence builder.. She said something along the lines of being well endowed and I’m not that big 18cm or 7inches by 12cm or 4.72inches.

Ok enough gloating thanks for the advice everyone.

Advice for people with same problem as me.. Stay off the porn! Being with a girl is about 100 times more fun!

I have never had a problem with the condom slipping off. I had that problem once in 12th grade but that was because I didn’t roll it all the way down, trying to get some extra feeling. I put it on my shaft too and it works great for me. I only buy magnums, and they have never slipped off. I have broken them a time or two without the lube on the inside and no lube on her. Dry condom plus dry pussy equals disaster.

I always pull out, even with a condom, just to be extra safe. Plus I love to see their faces when I pull it off and shoot all over them, priceless. Lol.

^ Even if I don’t add lube inside the condom, they still often slip off of me, due to the fact that I produce a lot of pre-cum. And the tighter the condom, they more likely they are to slip off for me. I hate condoms.

Yeah I hate them too. I mean who likes them, women hate them too. Although on those one night stands they are a must though. Sometimes not, lol. I know I know I know. But it depends how pretty she is and if she’s with it or not.

Strange thing is not many have asked me to use a condom its usually up to me. They usually don’t say anything. Anybody else noticed this? I know it’s bad but fuck it you only live once.

I have never had a problem with slippage but I can see how that would be annoying.

Living with a lot of trust there. I only live once and don’t want an STD. Can’t say I have noticed ( only been with my ex ) and she let me stick it in her first time without a condom.

I agree with almost every post here (maybe not the prostitute though). As he said this may be the hardest on the list, but the most important. This has happened to me before and you just think about it. Don’t let your dick fool you into thinking you may have ED or a slight case of it whatever. Its ALL in your head and when you start thinking it may be your dick its just going to make it worse.

Another thing that goes with this and would help (sounds silly but really works). When you’re with her just be confident. Not saying you have to show it and be cocky or whatever, but in your head. Know and tell yourself that you’re gonna tear up that pussy later. You own it, its yours and you’ll punish it. I’ve been in your shoes before out of nervousness and constantly thinking will it? can it? what will happen? That’s the biggest monkey wrench. This was years ago, but after all those head games, we went out to eat and as we’re out I’m thinking to myself your in for it tonight. Gonna tear you up, and honestly that’s all I needed. Self confidence is the key. Don’t wonder if you’ll stay hard, KNOW you will and that you’ll pound her out. After all, it is a head problem so start the solution in your head. Attack the main enemy.

Thank you, maddogginit!
Quick background: If you look at my profile, I joined back in June ‘04, right before I graduated High School when a buddy of mine told me about this place.
Both me and my GF at the time were satisfied with my penis size so I wasn’t too hardcore about the exercises, mainly just did it in the shower if remembered.

In college I had a healthy sex life, but became addicted to porn myself, and a few times had ED on girls that were one, Hott!, and two, I knew I wanted to fuck, but my penis would not work with me. This made me nervous for one night stands, and I had the same problem of taking a few times with a girl before I could really perform. I told them “it takes a while for my dick to trust you or not, I’m not a slut,” which always got a laugh and made the situation easier, but I still found myself needing to focus on mental images from the porno’s to finish.

Flash forward to today when I just broke up with a long term GF. It was a long distance relationship, so naturally I kept the porn addiction. I got into Pick-Up Artistry back in High School and know the best way to get over her is to GFTOW, aka Go Fuck Ten Other Women.

Immediately, my fears came back of hook ups that ended with me going down on her while I had to JO myself.
One, I knew I needed to cut out the porn, and two, I knew I needed to come here to get my penis back in shape. It turns out Thunders place isn’t taking anymore memberships, but luckily they don’t delete old, unused ones either! Hence the almost seven year membership with no posts, and hey my user name still applies, haha!

After reading all the advice you guys gave maddogginit, and his success story from the other night, I know I can beat this! (Get it :-)
My question to maddogginit is, how much, and what PE have you done? You posted that you are cutting everything except kegeling. Why so? I was thinking of just stating with kegels myself as I am satisfied with my size, but could definitely stand to use a harder penis for when the time comes.

I will probably sleep on this and do some more forum searching for detailed kegel stuff/ start a new thread referencing this one in the morning.

TLDR version: I am in a similar boat as maddogginit was, and he has inspired me and made me realize I can re-wire my porn addiction. I am cutting out porn and concentrating on just kegel exercises to ensure I will have a rock hard penis when it’s needed. I’ll prob start another kegel thread so as to not hijack this one off topic if needed.

Good questions juststartin..

I have been doing PE exercises off and on for quite some time. 2007 I believe I first started. I was originally about 15cm (5.9 inches) and now am at 18cm (7 inches) in length. My girth hasn’t really changed at 12cm (4.72 inches) and I would really like to be about 5 inches short term hopefully getting to about 5.5 inches. In terms of exercises that worked - mainly dry jelqing. I love the fact that it does improve EQ and I feel gave me the biggest gains. I don’t like stretching because I found to give a good stretch I would have to grip the head of my penis too hard which negatively affected my EQ..

Recently I did some clamping but I dislike it at the moment because it negatively affected my EQ also. It has to do with my dick not being conditioned properly I believe.. I would like some girth gains but I’m not going to kill my dick in the process.

I cut everything except for kegelling because basically that’s low risk of affecting my EQ. You can over do it but the effects only last maybe a day. My PC muscles are pretty strong actually and I will continue to get them stronger. Kegels are great but like many people post - you should not be using them to get you erect. I now feel like I can last a very long time and it’s only when I flex them to sort of push the sperm out do I feel like cumming. My girl thinks she is a pro at giving handjobs because I blow in 5 minutes but I could last for as long as I wanted haha as long as I stay relaxed. It does her a world of good!

I’m not worried now at all by being turned on by her. Actually quite the opposite now - it’s a great feeling. Therefore I am going to start jelqing back up. The reason I stopped was basically to cut out any PE injuries or recovery time that might affect my EQ. But it’s not really that much of a concern now.

Just some advice, (I could be wrong others feel free to correct) but for me when I stopped thinking of girls as walking cum depositories but actual people and went for a deeper connection - sex is easier and a lot less stressful. I’m in a really good place/situation right now with a girl that I really like and I think that was the biggest step for me. There is no pressure anymore! I hope that makes sense. (I say all that because you mentioned pick-up artistry and go fuck 10 other women).

Awesome advise, and agreed! My college days were spent trying to fuck as many different girls as possible to get over the HS ex, and I found it didn’t satisfy me emotionally. I mentioned GFTOW as an effort to get out there and meet other women. Time and other interests are the only things that get you over someone. Ok, enough relationship stuff, this is a PE forum.

Good stuff. Made me re-think about the kegel only route. I think I am going to start with the newbie routine. I saw a bunch of other posts about stretching isn’t that important too, which seems counter-intuitive since stretching is a must before and after every other exercise for your body.

I re-read all the posts again and found it funny that the title is “Porn and how long to detox,” but little that expands on this, so this is my experience and research:

1) Delete all porn bookmarks/ links/ folder on your computer. It not like it’s impossible to get porn still, but is a first step deterrent which may break initiation of the habit.

2) Most numbers are anywhere from 1-3 months. It is much easier to start a new habit than it is to break an established one. So I will be replacing my porn habit with PE.

3) Reward yourself if you are doing well, and don’t beat yourself up if you slip. It is almost impossible not to react on your urges, so if not having sex with a woman, then make masturbation more like it. Ray32 posted about watching one long porn instead of jumping vid to vid, since real sex is not like jumping girl to girl except rare occasions that make for good stories. I read somewhere else to masturbate slowly and with lube to make it more like real sex also.

4) You have to want it! If you are serious about breaking a habit, then you will notice a mental shift in yourself. It starts with waking up and mentally saying “no, I won’t start my day with JO.” Usually around the 2-3 week mark you will break down and want to get back in to the habit, and this is where the only thing that will save you is a strong fortitude. If you do slip, refer to #3. If you can make it to 4-6 weeks, then it is basically wired out of your brain with usually extreme circumstances that you will slip (that hot chick on the beach!).
In this cases it is OK, because it is irregular, and not of need from habit.

I was able to break my nail biting habit with similar steps, and now only bite them under high stress. I get pissed at myself cause now it will take a while for them to grow back, but as long as I let them grow back in, it’s OK.

I guess you could say I have an addictive personality.