Uncircumcised w anxiety & bad Mitral Valve, seeking better EQ
Hi, 56 yr-old newbie here. I’m in good shape, exercise 4-5x per week. I’m uncircumcised, approximately 7" BPEL x 6 EG.
I have read through many threads, but I have a unique set of problems and am unsure how to start.
1. Because of my girth combined with my foreskin, I always had problems putting on condoms. So I would lose erections at the worst possible moments. I’ve solved that by recently finding custom condoms online.
2. My erections were only rarely rock-hard however. I had girlfriends comment on it, even when I had sex without a condom on. I’m not sure if was too much masturbation, or a physical issue (see #5). I usually took a long time to come. Sometimes I never did, no matter how long I fucked.
3. Currently, I have only masturbated twice in the last 3 weeks, with infrequent morning wood (only once rock-hard). I was masturbating daily in prior months, with decent erections (mostly 70-90%) and always could come with "death grip". Trying to end "death grip", I bought a fleshlight which I’ve only used once so far. In that instance last week, I had difficulty getting hard watching porn without touching myself. I finally got about 50% hard and used the fleshlight and came after getting to about 80%.
4. Because of #1 and #2, I got really nervous any time I was with a woman for the first time. I think I lost an erection on the first night with 5 of the 10 women I slept with in my life. My last sex was 11 year ago - not kidding. I had intermittent erection issues with her and I think she broke it off partly because of that (not sure). So I basically gave up. The years went by, and I have not even asked a woman out in over 6 years. I know this sounds egotistical, but I truly am a legit "7" at worst and at least an "8" in many women’s eyes. So I look decent, but I have become so disheartened and paranoid about the next "first time" that I don’t want to face the possible embarrassment again. I’ve wasted a decade of my (love) life. Note that I am a major perfectionist in many aspects of life, and have regularly seen a therapist about it (I do not discuss sex with her).
5. The one added complication is that I have severe mitral valve regurgitation. Mitral valve regurgitation - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
I supposedly have had it since birth, but it wasn’t discovered until 5 years ago. It has become severe in the last 2-3 years. Apparently I’m not getting enough oxygenated blood flowing out properly into my body. I can get through a moderate weightlifting routine and moderate jogging with no problem. I just can’t lift really heavy or sprint as I will get light-headed and get more than usual heart rhythm issues. Is this affecting my erections? I’m unsure. It certainly isn’t helping.
BUT.. I have decided that I need to enjoy life again!! I need to find love. I need to find sex. So I am on your site to see if I can get better EQ and as a bonus a little bit more size. I need to get back the strong confidence I had around women in my 20s and early 30s.
How should I start? What is my best option for better EQ? I want to start slowly because of the mitral valve and see what my body can handle. And because I am uncut do I have to do it a certain way? Thank you for your advice and good luck to you all. :)
