GreenSteel
I think you are planning to really change a lot of things in your life. And I sincerely think this gives you a lot of dedication and will power.
But it needs this will and power easily up if you try things which are beyond certain limits too.
Originally Posted by Mmaking
I should focus more on what I have rather than what I don’t. I think maybe you could benefit from it too, if I am not stepping out of line saying it.
This line seems quite reasonable in my opinion. I absolutely do not want to judge your projects, just giving in my opinion.
Maybe I should illustrate it with a simple example out of my own experience:
Since my early teens, I was always mad at my body for being so lightweight. I was so mad for not getting muscles like all my buddies did that I trained extremely hard to get stronger. But as my body is a runners body, I got faster and faster and had more endurance, I got stronger too, but I did not get muscular! And I was always comparing myself to the other and saw only their volume, but had no idea about their strength.
Until I did at age of 20 my army service in the mountain infantry. This is the place where you do your service when you are a rock climber (like I was) or a farmer from the alps. So I was surrounded for a few moths by "heavy-duty" guys mostly, some of them were even Swiss wrestlers (if you don’t know it:
). So these guys were all ways above my class of body on the short haul and my muscle-jealousy was stronger than ever.
But then it showed that I was the only one being able to carry the full package (20 kgs) plus an additional weapon of 10 to 15 kgs like a machine gun or a mortar for a full day and still keep the pace of the troop - in the mountains… And when I was 29, in a yearly repetition training, there was an accident and a guy got hit by a piece of steel in a mine explosion, I was the only one who was strong enough to carry the wounded through half a kilometer of rocks to a spot where the helicopter could pick him up - and this guy was over 100kgs.
Then and only then I started to realize that even if I am looking like a skeleton with skin drawn over it, I was really strong. So basically I was mad against my own body from age 12-14 until age of 29. I overcompensated my frustration with extreme training - but could not see the performance and strength I got. I was blinded by "visible muscle mass envy".
Now I know and accept it: you simply can’t change a runner’s body into a power-lifter or wrestler’s body. Or if you can, you have to use chemical or surgical aides, which are risky. Just think about if the risks are worth the benefits - on long-term! Think how your body will fell if surgery goes bad or if chemical products attack your metabolism or other biochemical balances.
Is it really worth it?
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