a real confidence booster..........

A screw on the side isn’t worth the troubles it causes if/when you get caught. It surely isn’t worth the pain it causes the SO who is being cheated on and the damage it can do to the children if they find out is too high a price for a little extra spice on the side.

If a man does not love his wife/SO of any amount of time, he needs to get away from her and live a happy life. Why subject yourself to a form of imprisonment because you have kids or other obligations? You don’t need to be with the mother of your children to take care of them. I firmly believe that children will be happier with two happy parents who are separated than with two parents who are together but do not want to be together.

Besides, you never know when you’ll cheat with the wrong girl. I’ve been cheated on. I didn’t like it—it screwed me up. I believe it won’t happen again but, if it does, the other guy will lose his life. I’m well aware that this is a ridiculous attitude, but I’ve somehow stopped caring. If a woman is going to cheat on me, I have no problem at all with letting her life the rest of her life knowing that her whoredom got a man killed.

And, average, you have no way of knowing whether or not you’re cheating with a woman that has a boyfriend or a husband like me. I have a kind heart and I care about people. I want the best for the world and I want the best for those around me. Unfortunately, I’ve gone beyond some breaking point with regards to cheating. If it happens again, someone will die. It could be you. There’re a lot of things you need to think about if you’re going to be the kind of person who cheats, one of those things is the person that the person with whom you are cheating may have a SO just like me—whether or not he/she tells you about that other person may not be told in honesty.

Don’t cheat. I can’t say it any clearer than that. I’m not the only one out there who has lost some grip of his/her sanity where this is concerned. I hope that I will regain whatever it was in me that horrified me when I imagined myself killing anyone in any situation. As of now, the only two things that bother me at all about killing anyone who sticks his dick in my chick is the fact that, if caught, I’d be leaving my two sons without a father in their lives.

Good show average! I would agree with Luvdadus that there are usually reasons a man / woman would cheat on their S.O. I would be a classic example of that!!!

Thanks for briefing us on your adventure average, I for one enjoyed reading about it!!! By chance did ya get to screw her in the butt?

RWG

KOG,

You need to check yourself. You say for a person to leave his wife or significant other if they were prone to cheat. But then you turn around and say you would kill someone if they cheated with your wife / S/O. Isnt that a contradiction of sorts? If you feel that way - why dont you leave them now. Unles you understand the concept of Forgiveness - you have not done so or you would not harbor those psychotic tendancies. Furthermore , you make the statement about “how tragic it would be ” and yet it is you who threatens to make it a reality out of your own selfish feelings of preserving your own perceptions of the hurt YOU Would feel and yet do not take into account the feelings of your Wife and Children and or the feelings of any loved ones of the to be victim. Does this make you a fatalistic hero in some way? What choice would the victims children have in this scenario? They would suffer damage through no choice of their own. And yet you HAVE a Choice. So you are just AS Guilty of hurting others as the person who cheated with your wife. It makes you absolutely no better , but worse in fact. Because you could Choose to. I dont write to you to insult you , but rather to tell you to understand that life is all about forgiveness and what it is never about is revenge. If your wife cheats on you its her bad. Forgive her or dont forgive her and marry someone more trustworthy. Killing someone says more about you than it does the one you killed. Anyone can kill someone. It takes no great skill to do this. But it takes a man to forgive someone. I hope you think this through for YOUR SAKE. Because for every piece of crap who cheats on their trusting spouce - there are ten loyal and trustworth women who would love you like no other. And you’ll never meet them with that course of action.

Peace.

KOG,

If I was a moderator I would kick you out of this forum.

I don’t know,

I think if cheaters had a little more death to fear, then there would be much less of it.

The problem with cheating is that it isn’t considered a crime, even though it hurts someone much more than stealing thousands of dollars.

That’s why believe in the reinstitution of dueling laws and legal mutual combat.

This society is too feminine.

Well, I wouldn’t recommend someone to leave their SO just because he or she is prone to cheating. I think that there are several issues relevant to what causes a person to cheat: genes, psychological stability, sense of fulfillment in the current relationship, etc. I do recommend that anyone who is going to cheat to leave their SO, however. Being prone to do something and doing something are two different things. I’m prone to react violently (as indicated by the post you are responding to) but in the past several years, I have stopped nearly 100% of all acts of extreme aggression that I found myself about to make. It took a lot of hard work and reshaping how I vent my anger. For example, rather than starting to hammer away at some guy’s face for doing something I don’t like (it has to be something pretty serious, nothing stupid), I’ll talk shit and scare the hell out of him and then I cool down. Once I cool off and have vented the anger, I can return to the more rational and collected self and I apologize to the guy and I try will try to settle the issue in an adult manner—or I’ll leave the situation. Of course, I look like one of those idiots who is full of hot air and talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk, but it’s better than getting myself into a fight. I learned quickly that I can’t judge who will win a fight between myself and another person by comparing the way we look. I’ve beaten the hell out of huge men that I was certain would rip me a new rear-end and I’ve had the crap beaten out of me by a little skinny guy that looked like he couldn’t pick up a concrete block. I soon realized that I was either going to get myself killed or hurt someone else. Once I got my then girlfriend pregnant, I decided it was time to start caring if I ended up in jail and the like.

It’s difficult to explain my former outlook on life. I’ve always been nice and I’ve always been quick to sling a fist. The two seem to conflict with one another, but it was perfectly rational in the type of life I grew up in—where guns where we dodged bullets on Friday and slung knuckles on Saturday and went to church on Sunday. The world I grew up in is totally different than the world I’m living in now, and the two often clash. (I’m hoping this tangent will somehow lead me into the next phase of my response.)

Yes, it’s a contradiction (I guess someone could argue that it is not a contradiction, but I agree with you so it won’t be me). However, rationality fails where emotion rules. When I first read average’s post, I became emotional over what I was reading and found myself becoming angry. I couldn’t believe that I was reading someone casually talk about how he “usually” doesn’t cheat but won’t turn down a hot chick. Opinions vary, but to me this is puke. That’s not to say average is puke. I recognize that different people view sex differently. I also realize that average may not see anything at all wrong with having sex with someone when it is nothing more than feeding the animal and no emotional attachment is involved with the other person. I don’t see anything at all wrong with this kind of behavior if the SO is aware of what is going on and approves. If you have to sneak and hide, then something is wrong.

I can say with full honesty that I have no problem with the idea of murdering anyone who bangs my wife—but I’m saying that with full confidence that it will never happen again. When I was in high school, a girlfriend got drunk at a party and screwed some guy. I told her I’d kill the next guy that had sex with any woman that I was with in the future—it happened again many years later and I didn’t kill anyone, even though I felt that I was saying it with just as much truth then as I did when I wrote the post to which you responded. Also, when it happened years later (it was a different girl, by the way) I had several chances that I could have attacked the guy or done anything I wanted to him. Instead, I left the area and cursed him under my breath and fantasized about beating the hell out of him. If I came home tomorrow and found someone in my bed having sex with my wife, I would want to kill him. I think there’s a very good chance I’d attack him—but I don’t think I’d actually kill him. He would be someone’s son, possibly a brother or a father—a husband. Those who would be hurt by the death of this hypothetical man aside, he would still be a living person with dreams for the future and a desire to live. I can talk about killing him until I turn blue in the face, but if the moment ever came I know wouldn’t do it. But … I’ll probably claim to be the killer of any future man who bangs any woman I’m with at least once every two or three years for at least the next ten years. I get caught up in myself sometimes and blow more hot-air than was originally intended.

So, what’s the deal with my post? Mmm.. I think it was emotionally charged hot-air. The only time I say that I’d kill someone with whom my SO cheated is when I’m pissed about cheating—a rare thing.

Before I move on to another thought, I’d also like to point out that I think my post had less to do with lack of forgiveness and more to do with insecurity. I’m not sure if that makes sense and I’m not sure how I could articulate it in a way that makes my feelings on this issue clear.

You said nothing at all that was in the least insulting. ;) You were simply presenting the voice of reason in a place where it had obviously been silenced.

I’d also like to think that for every ten pieces of crap who cheat, one of them learns a lesson and uses it to grow and avoid similar bad decisions in the future.

I had to leave after making my post, so I didn’t have time to go back and delete it all the crazy crap once I’d gotten over my angry outburst. But it turned out OK because it gave you an opportunity to respond to what I normally would have deleted and rewritten, which prompted me to explore why I wrote it.

Dunno, she sounds like a keeper.

I don’t think I’d actually kill a guy in that situation unless I somehow lost all control of what I’m doing (which could always happen, I suppose). But I do think there’d be a pretty good chance that the guy would be given a hardy ass kicking.

I know I’d want to and when I think about it right now I’d want to treat the guy to a beating—but I’m not sure how I’d actually act in that situation. For all I know I might just toss my arms into the air and walk away, collect my kids, and send my wife the divorce papers in the mail.

The potential for death didn’t stop me—the woman I cheated with was married to a cop, and it didn’t stop either one of us for those two years.

Cheating is, as KOG pointed out, often a result of insecurity, so the desire to satisfy that need just makes one more devious, not more level-headed about consequences.

Hmmm……maybe I started a stir for which I apologize. But I stick by my laurels and live by the sword.

First off, pahncrd I couldn’t agree more with your whole post, legal duels would check some guys.

And why are people bashing KOG. He was cheated on and got burned. He knows how it feels and how he’ll react if it happens again. Although I’d say to you KOG, if it does happen again, make sure the guy knew your girl wasn’t single before taking action. And just inflict pain, not death - pain is much worse for the living. Your posts show wisdom, even the first one.

OK now on to the pro-cheating guys :

Pulling said : “So I guess, a guy who fathers two kids and divorces his wife after couple of years just because he “has fallen out of love” is a better man than a guy who takes care of his wife and kids for 12 years and occasionally cheats to spice up his life a bit? “
I agreed with this in a way but I think you were trying to sound sarcastic, so maybe our opinions differ. I would say neither of them are better. Is a punch in the jaw better than a kick in the bollocks? But as long as the first guy supports his kids then I wouldn’t have a problem with him. But the second guy shouldn’t have got married in the first place. He wants casual sex.
Pulling said : “However, something (society pressure) makes him get married and have kids”
Really…..I thought it was loving a woman that makes you want to marry her.
Pulling said : “When a guy gets married at 25, does anyone actually believes that he is thrilled with the prospect of having sex with the same woman for the rest of his life.”
If I love her, then I have no desire to have sex with anyone else. Ultimately if you want to have casual sex with different women then you don’t get married. Alternatively if you want to protect and provide for a woman you love for the rest of your life you get married.

And average - sorry if you didn’t want to turn this into a thread about the morals of cheating. But like KOG, it was the casualness about the way you viewed cheating as insignificant or justified due to it just being sex that outraged me. If you truly love your wife, you should have no desire to cheat. And I stick by my comment about the inch. Are you sure you wouldn’t wish this on anyone ? What if you walked in on someone having sex with your woman ? What about that guy ? He’s cheating with your woman and he deserves it. And if it was a guy on top of my girlfriend I’d probably remove that inch myself with a blunt object. AAAGGHH! I feel the rage building again just thinking about it. I hope the mods will let me know if my comments have been out of line, but I’m glad I got to participate in this thread. I must remove myself from the computer and meditate this out.

“But….we are Men.”
Yes but we are different men.

ghost

Average

You opened a can of worms huh, don’t worry that just happens sometimes a lot of guys here have been cheated on that’s why some are here looking for big cocks. I enjoyed your story are you going to bang her again, how did you meet her, were you friends or was it just two ships passing in the night.

I think that being dishonnest in any sense whether it be in a relationship or any other thing, is a messure of the level of maturity, and the level of self esteem that a person has. If your wife does not satify you in bed then there are things that can be done to change that. If your way out is to cheat, then it shows that you are a weak person who would rather go the long way around then to face any confrontation. Grow up, be a man, and at least tell her what you did. As the saying goes shit floats, it will come up later and tear both you and her apart. Honesty is the only way to go.

Studies have actually shown that women are more likely to cheat AND not feel bad about it…so there’s a very good chance that she cheats/cheated on you…I guess you deserve it tho since you do the same…

Well, I got married at 21 and I really,really wanted to. Why, because not only is she my wife, she is also my best friend.
I love having sex with the same women and look forward to it for a long time to come. If you have a problem with the sex life within a marriage, don’t take the easy way out, BE A MAN and sort it out. Its easy to go and stick your dick into someone else, but it takes guts to stick it out.
BTW, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with having sex outside the marriage, PROVIDED both partners consent (eg swinging).
I think that this mentally of its OK to cheat is one of the reasons the moral fabric of our great countries (Its the same here in Australia), is becoming frayed and is falling apart.
In the end the people that really suffer are our children.

Personally I think people who cheat are just selfish and don’t think about anyone but themselves. Most people would probably agree with me but you never know.

I don’t think your necessarily a bad person or anything Average but I have a feeling your wife and kidds would if they found out about it. Why not spice up your sex life with her instead? You may have already tried I guess.

Either way just be very careful dude you may ruin your life.

I think this deserves a poll? Yeah ill start one.

The Woodpile