a real confidence booster..........

Pulling, there are fora out there where mods are free to ban members over petty things. If you’d like, I can E-mail you a short list of those I’ve found. Perhaps you will be able to work your way up to being a mod and ban people who say things you don’t like all you want.

As for this forum, well, I think the mods are far too mature and self composed to ban a member for saying something like what I did in my post (not to mention highly out of character for me). Most of the mods here have known me long enough and talked with me enough to know what kind of person I am an to realize that the post I created does not conform to my normal character.

*Note to confused mods: I’m Fauven, just in case you haven’t noticed. I thought I had a problem with my father being at this forum, but it turned out to be a false alarm—I think.

All that aside, perhaps you should take the time to get to know me before you making a judgement against me based on one post. Feel free to read through any of my posts, there are a little over 400 from which you can choose. Heck, you might even find an old, forgotten post that will give you a little insight as to why I easily slip into a negative mood with the issue of cheating.

I’m sure you’re a fine guy and I believe that you’d say the same of me once you get to know me a little better. :o ) Let’s hug and be friends.

I really don’t think anyone would ban Kog hes pretty cool. A little strange once in a while but he adds style to the boards.

The Woodpile

I’m going to use this thread as an opportunity to update a story from my private life that I shared with T’s Place many moons ago and then kind of dropped without ever giving any updates. I’ve always felt bad about it and now I will let the rest be told. Though the thread I’ll eventually get around to mentioning no longer exists—thankfully—those of you who read it will remember that the title was “My Wife is A Whore!” I wrote it back when I was Fauven. Here goes a few more thoughts on cheating and the rest of my personal experience.

Remember, my wife did cheat on me, so I was particularly sensitive to what was being told to me at the time that this stuff was going on. I honestly felt that I had caught her and had her cornered in a way that she couldn’t wiggle out of her guilt. Keep that in mind as you read this real-life Jerry Springer-style experience I had.

*****
I think that insecurity plays a large role in most cases. I think that there are people out there who like and have a powerful urge to have casual sex with many people. For those people, I would imagine it is very difficult to remain faithful to someone. If they find that they cannot win that battle, I think they have a duty to make the issue known to the other person in the relationship. Where insecurity is concerned, I think that the person being cheated on also has a duty to help the insecure person, the person who might or has cheated, to battle that insecurity. This isn’t always done and it certainly isn’t an excuse to cheat, but I do believe it is a contributing factor to the thinking that is going on in the cheaters mind that allows him or her to make that potentially devastating decision to cheat. With my situation, I severely neglected my duty to make my SO feel good about herself and to feel like I was sexually attracted to her. It is no excuse for what she did, but it would be wrong for me to pretend that I was the only victim in our situation—something that, from an emotional and selfish perspective, I wanted to do. Then it gets into a bizarre circle: she wasn’t really helping me cope with my insecurities, the insecurities that fueled my neglecting her insecurities.

The difference is that she did approach me and attempted to discuss the issue, I would try to postpone our “talks” or I would find some reason to wiggle out of the discussion. Again, none of this is a reason to cheat—but I definitely have a few links that are my own in that chain of events that shaped her into the kind of person that would accept the advancements of another man.

The point of me saying all this is to shed light on something that I wanted to and tried to deny with my situation, in that I wanted it be an innocent victim: even affairs that are the result of insecurities may have a tangled web of very complex issues behind it. I wanted my situation to be black and white, i.e., girl cheated, girl bad, me victim. Unfortunately, things aren’t often so black and white in the real world. It’s something I had to deal with and realize—and I did that through the help with the men on this board. Some of them may remember a post of mine in which I explained my situation and poured myself out into the thread. I got a lot of responses, all very good and helpful—some very different with different opinions. Though that thread was kindly deleted by a mod (I was concerned about my wife getting onto T’s Place and reading my posts), I considered the responses that I got from that thread for a very long while.

I was thankful to learn that a great deal of what my “source” told me (stuff that I put in that old deleted post) turned out to be lies. A guy read an online diary of mine, went to my site, found me on AOL and befriended me. He somehow got my wife’s AOL screen name and even visited T’s Place (I gave him a link). He then set out on strange campaign to play games with my head. He did some odd things. For example, he left a note in the guest book of my website and said he was someone from T’s Place. I then brought that guest book entry to T’s Place and bitched about it some and forgot about it. (See the guest entry thread: "atheists are bitter and hateful" ) He began talking to my wife on another SN he made on AOL and then contacted me from another E-mail address saying that he was a hacker and could find stuff out (he said he felt bad for the stuff he read on my online diary). This guy had several personalities that he was using to toy with me. He then began to fabricate conversations between himself and my wife and then, posing as the hacker version of himself, pretending to hack the information as it was passed over the AOL sever or some crap. I got all paranoid and upset and just all out of shape. Of course, I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea that the guy I was trying to share PE with was the hacker and I had no idea that he was my wife’s new friend online. It was this false information that caused me to release what was in my head to the men on this board—a place that had become a secret refuge of sorts to me. So, even though my head was being filled with lies from a psychotic idiot he wanted to destroy me simply because of my online diary and website (he didn’t like them because of the nature of the site/diary—the diary no longer exists), I was able to gain a great deal of insight and help from that post, though it didn’t exist long, that I used as a cry for advice. It changed my understanding of what was going on in my life.

Just in case you’re wondering why I went on that loooong tangent about my personal experience, I figured I could use this thread as an update and correction on what was going on with that post and my wife. I know some of the members who were around when I made that post were asking about what happened with that situation. Now you know. :o )

Oh, let me tell you how I found out what was going on. My wife kept telling me that she didn’t say this or that in the “hacked” material that was being sent to me. I thought she was lying through her teeth, but I figured I’d go ahead and check it out. I knew what the guy looked like because he sent her a picture of himself (don’t ask why he sent a real pic of himself) and he let it slip that he attended the same college as me—which is how he found my site (my SN popped up on a member search on AOL and I had a link to my website), and he used my site to get to my online diary. So, I knew what he looked like but I didn’t know what his real SN on AOL was, whichever one was for himself and not his trickery. I did know that he hung out in the West Virginia chat on AOL with his fake SN, so I made a girly SN of my own and hung out in that room and talked to guys and traded pictures until someone sent me the same picture that my wife got. It didn’t take long for me to find someone who sent me a picture that was the very same one that idiot sent my wife while pretending to be someone else. I signed off and got back on with my regular name and sent him an instant message. He was a little freaked out and tried to lie about it. I told him he was full of shit, blah blah. I told him that I knew he went to my school and that he walked under the campus clock every day. Now, I didn’t really know he walked under the clock every day, but it’s a safe thing to say because almost everyone on campus walks under the clock every day. it is in the center of the main walkway on campus and everyone walks on it. I explained to him that I was going to beat the hell out of him for trying to hook up with my wife (I contacted his fake name and he acted innocent and said he didn’t know she was married and pretended to cooperate with me on pinning my wife in her lies). I forwarded him an E-mail that my wife forwarded me. The E-mail was one that she had sent to him and she did state that she was married in the E-mail. Once that was done he knew that I knew that he knew she was married.

I told him I was going to F* him up bad. He got the shit scared out of him and told me everything. His story matched my wife’s story, considering she was in the dark about his bizarre multiple personality game. I felt like an idiot for getting so worked up over it and was incredibly embarrassed that I brought it here to T’s Place. But in hindsight, I know that I learned things from the men on this site that I would’ve taken a lot longer to realize had I not had an objective out-side opinion on the situation.

Heh, you should see how strange I can get in real life. I’m an un-medicated bipolar patient with OCD. Eeek! I’m not severe with either problem, so it usually isn’t an issue that I don’t take meds. But I can still do or say something strange at times.

Seriously though, thanks for what you said. I appreciate it. ;)

So, should a cheater babysit every once in a while, and let the little woman go out and get her some new dick? Fair is fair.

Bigger

I say either have an open marriage or don’t.

Don’t pretend your seriously married and fuck on the side, it’s an insult to everyone who takes marriage seriously.

No one in the free world is forced to marry. If you don’t like being married get a divorce, or an open marriage, to stay with the kids.

Bib & pahncrd,

I couldn’t agree with both of you more.

Average,

I think many men are too concerned about the length of their penis, and not the girth. But in a practical sense, it’s the girth that matters. You don’t have a particulary long penis, but a very thick one. My penis is longer and thinner than yours, and I would rather have yours.

I don’t blame you for cheating. If I had slept with the same woman for 12 years, I would be dying to have sex with another one. I can see the ethical problem about it, as the whole meaning of marriage is that you’re supposed to be faithful to that particular person. But it’s hard to behave against your instincts. Humans aren’t a monogamous species.

Life is short and goes by very fast, so bang all the pussy you can before you die!

Oh boy what do we have here? It looks like a cheating thread. Although the original poster didn’t intend that I think he opened a can of worms here.

First let me say that I emphatically agree with Kog and any other anti-cheaters. I have a saying.. “You can take my money, my house, all my material things, but if you try to take/fuck my woman prepare for the emergency room”. That being said I would never and have never banged a married or taken woman in my life! Average you are probably an ok guy ( I have friends like you actually) but having sex with another person behind your wife’s back is just above beating the living shit out of your wife. There only a few lower things that a person can do to someone and cheating ranks in the top 3 in my list of the lowest of low.

Myself I consider sex as an extension of my emotions to a woman, not everyone feels this way and everyone is entitled to their opinions. There is nothing that brings you closer to oneness with a woman than to penetrate her and actually be inside her and part of her body. That’s the way I see it and I also will admit that I had casual sex back in high school but since the age of 18 I have been loyal to every SO I have ever had. I am not preaching I am simply stating my opinion, but cheating is worse than murder if you ask me.

I think the answer to the old to cheat or not to cheat lies in the open marriage. My S/O and I have a perfect understanding. If either of us wants to have sex with another, we discuss it. In almost all situations we’ve both been okay with it. There is no lying or sneaking around; there is no need for it. I know this type of open relationship is not for everyone, but it has worked really well for us. Neither of us is jealous about sex, now romance is another thing altogether. I don’t want any man romancing her, but casual sex is okay if we both agree on the person. Neither of us would ever have sex with a person the other did not approve of or know about. So far we have never refused the others request, but if we did it would be because one or both of us didn’t like the other person, or thought they might be a bad choice, because of a jealous spouse or possibility of STD etc. She has never deigned me a woman just because she was too young or beautiful, just like I’ve never deigned her another man just because he had a bigger dick. In fact the later has been the case almost ever time we’ve had threesomes with other men. What can I say, my girl is a size queen, and I love it. The competition keeps me on my toes and hard at my PE goals. Whether it is a threesome with me and her and another woman or another man or a couple or a group, we never cheat.

Boy, this thread about a confidence booster sure went south, but in an interesting way.

BG

Whoa.. I could kill for a 6” girth.

oldpunker thats a great way to look at it.

Big Girtha I agree if the couple are fully agreed upon the situation then there isn’t anything wrong with having sex with another couple or whatever. This is definitely not cheating and I would say you have a good relationship.

I cant believe this post is still going.

The Woodpile

Big Girtha,
I admire your open mindedness about sex, but I would get too jealous to share like that. I once begun a thread at Thunder’s discussing women and various sounds from them based on the size of the dick. Your post in that thread was especially interesting to me because you spoke from the experience of being right there to compare noises from women you have intercourse with to when they they have intercourse with different men with different size dicks. You said that a bigger dick does indeed usually produce more vocals from women. PirateSteve , who has been in sex groups,also posted bigger gets more vocals. I’m very interested in everyone’s views and experiences, but it’s direct experences like yours and PirateSteve’s that are proof positive to me.

IW8 may be able to benefit from your experience in this type of relationship (see thread: Headed for a heartbreak ), even though the relationship you have with your wife is somewhat different than what IW8 and his wife were planning.

It’s wonderful when two people can have an open relationship like this and cooperate with one another the way you and your wife do. I think it’s a rare thing, when two people can maintain a good relationship and be open like this. For those people, I do believe that it makes their relationship better. In my marriage, I could never have this type of relationship. However, it wouldn’t bother me in other relationships. I think it would depend on the woman in the relationship with and the characteristics of our relationship.

With what you have, you get to feed the natural desire to have sex with multiple people without having to lie and cheat. For those people who can do this and have it work out as well as what you have, it’s a win-win situation. You’re a lucky man, BG.