Funny: The odyssey of my bib

I think you will enjoy this story:

- 12.04.03 I ordered a BibStarter and payed via PayPal.com.

- 12.05.03 Bib confirmed the order and shipment.

- Everything was really fine until here. :) Weeks of patient waiting followed …

…

- 01.02.04 I found a green note in my mailbox from the customs office. The note had a stamp on it from 12.12.03 on it. This means the package had been already for weeks in Germany. On page two it said that you have to pay a storage charge fee if they have to store the package for more than 7 days. As you know I had no chance to fetch the package because I didn’t get a note until then.
It got even better: They asked me for 2 bills, a german description of the product and a specification of the type and content of the package. Yeah, great. This was going to be real fun … :)

- 01.05.04 (current day) I took the trolly train and stepped out at the wrong station and when I arrived at the right road I walked it up in the wrong direction … and it rained. After walking a huge half circle I realized that it finally would have been not the wrong station. :)
Ok, I arrived at the customs office and opened the bureaus door. Some people looked at me from their desks and I could see the surprise in their eyes. I thought “… ok … what’s wrong here? They can’t possibly know what I want.”. I looked around and there was a blond babe which looked at me. I thought “No, no please. I don’t want to go through this with a woman!”. Happily she made no moves to invite me to her desk. So I did choose a desk with a man behind it. He told me that I was in the wrong bureau. Finally I found the right one.
Scenario check: About 5 people (men/women mixed) were standing behind a big counter. I approached them and they reprehended me to a guy behind a smaller counter at the side of the room. I gave him the green note and he got my package after some minutes. There it was: A little package with the long awaited bib in it.
He wanted to see my bill. I had simply printed out the PayPal transfer because I had no other bill. He was satisfied with this but asked me to open the package and gave me a knife. Ok, I opened it and saw my bib the first time and held it in my hands. He “What’s this?”. I was not as confident as planned at this moment (thinking of the women behind me) and after some moments I replied “Ehh … it’s a sex toy” and smiled. He had a inquiering expression on his face because it was not specific enough “And what is it for?”. I continued “I would call it a … penis shackle/pastern/trammel” (can’t translate it directly from german->english). He “Does it vibrate?”. Me “No!”. He “Ok, let’s see how we can get out some taxes.” and went to his computer. He “It’s made out of plastic?”. Me “Yes.”. He did some querys on his computer but didn’t find any matching product group. I was not sure if the people behind me were listening and he asked again “And it doesn’t vibrate?”. Me “Y E S!”. He mumbled some things like “… made out of plastic … waste pipe … no … * filter … no …”. He “You make it really complicated to get out some taxes from you.”. After a while he found a group that satisfied him and said “Please take a seat outside. I’ll complete the tax assessment notice in 10 minutes.”
So I had to wait and when he called me in again I had to pay about $25 (25% of the original price) taxes for a hanger I already buyed for $100 (plus $12 shipping)! Great.
I don’t know which group the BibStarter is now assigned to. It seemed to be a great challenge for an average German customs officer.
After the paying process we found out why the green note took so long to me. Someone from the customs office had misspelled my street name so it arrived at another ones house. Yeah, great again. :)

What do we learn:
I think the main problem was that no bill was attached to the package. Maybe I would have had fewer problems getting it because that’s what the guy behind the counter found fault most.

Next time I would fake my PayPal bill. I would simply save the page to HD, edit the HTML and lower the price for the Bib. As I had to pay a precentage of the Bib’s original price it would have nicely lowered my tax. There would be no way they would ever find out what I really payed for it.

For me it’s too soon to laugh about the whole story but I hope you can. :)

Now I’ll start my well deserved first hanging experiences with my new Bib!

greets,

estatic

My God, what an ordeal! It will be worth it, though :)

Someone saw mine lying out one day and asked me what it was. Being the ever quick witted one, mumbled something about needing it for my wrist and they were like, “oh, OK” and went on.

Damn Germans are messed up. Always looking for more and more tax money from the citizen. Jesus! Is all of Europe this way or is it just Germany?

estatic,

Sorry you had so much trouble. The customs thingie should have said $20 form my end. Did they ask about that?

Bigger

estatic,
That is a great story, and you have a great sense of humor. I thought for a moment the guy was going to have you demonstrate how to use it, in which case you could have further confused him by asking “Straight out or between the cheeks?”

-Cap

In the European Community we don’t have any taxes. If you are European you can live and work in any European country and you can take anything you want over every border as far as the stuff you are transporting is legal in the other country.
It was the first time that I ordered something from oversea. I never encountered such problems before.

No.

greets,

estatic

You won’t believe it but I was prepared for this implausible case: I had printed out a “bib in action” picture to show them. lol ;)

Tarriffs, taxes, whatever. They are shaking you down for the dough. I have ordered a clock off of Ebay from Italy and it took months to get here, but there was no tax, tarriff, or other charge on it. Hopefully Hobby doesn’t see this and go off all political about goverments taking money. He makes my Zealotry look like that of a medicated senior citizen.

Anyhow you pay use/consumption/ (sales tax in the USA) tax right? You have an income tax too?

You’re already doing a fine job, TT. :)

Estatic, I’m glad you finally got the thing.

Well at least you got it. Goverments are slow on a ton of stuff. Look at Secjay’s package to OZ. They seem to deliver it when they want to. Skipping days instead of going right up for it the next day.

Isn’t there a way to declare stuff as just a simple gift? I did that in my OZ shipment pretty much. Knocking the value down a bit here and there. Praying it got there, but not like Sec having to pay a second charge for getting it.

Estatic,

So were the girls all hot at that goverment office? I would have loved to talk to them. But I am strange that way.

Well you get 1.26 USD for a Euro. You already have a wee bit of a discount built into the currency conversion.

Otherwise this story is really kind of funny, I would have been mortified trying to explain this. We really should start a thread about “WHAT A BIB REALLY IS.”

I’d say that its a fiber optic cable bundle puller adapter. The rubbery inside is so that the cables don’t get damaged.

Anyone else have a “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT” story?

He he great story estatic!

A what the hell is that story would make a great thread…

Here’s an idea:
a snake collar, for walking your pet snake, tight fitting so they don’t slither out and escape.

:)

Hi

I left Germany 4 years ago before moving to Bangkok but remember well how ugly these custom guys can be sometimes.
From the tax laws I recall I don’t think that charging any taxes would be possible so you might re-check this officer’s decision with your revenue department.
What exactly did they charge you for?

Enjoy your Bib-hanger!

Cheers

Andreas
Bangkok

Thats hilarious melvin, and its not even a lie. Slightly changed it would be:
“it’s for exercising my pet snake”.

I’ve had a similar problem when going to the hardware store. I thought I could just be vague about it if anyone asked me but this one guy wanted to know details. All I could think about was what the stuff was actually going to be used for and I got a little embarassed. Eventually I blurted out, “its for some home exercise equipment I’m building”. Also not a lie.

-Tube