My STRANGE experience of PE

It started with depression, went in to hope, and ended in an even deeper depression.

Ever since I was about 12 years old I’ve hated the size of my penis. When I turned15 i stopped all activities that forced me to show my penis, including gymclass in school.

I had huge problems with my size, when everyone else grew, I didn’t. First, I thought that I was just late, but when I was 16 I understood that it wouldn’t grow at all. It looked exactly the same as when I was 9 years old, except the hair. I guess you can picture how it looked.

This made me very insecure and I had serious problems with my identity. I often cried my self to sleep because I thought about my lonely future. The years passed and I strarted to get panic. When I woke up to take a shower in the morning, I had attacks of anxiety when I saw my self (or, more precisly, my penis) in the mirror.

The biggest problem was not lying about me not being interested in training (wich requires public showering) or to almost pee your pants when there were only “shared” toilets in the mens room, but the abens of love. There were not a chance in the world that I would show this tiny freaky thing to a girl, no way. Everytime a girl showed interest in me, or had feelings for someone (which I really tried to ***) I broke down to a depression. Suicidial thoughts came to my mind more frequently and my hate against my self just seemed to grow.

This might seem like “too much” to you, but if the size shouldn’t matter, you would probably not waste hour after hour in painful exercises whos healthconsicuenses are not fully known. To me, my small penis became like cancer in my body, and it was slowly eating me.

Than, in me deepest depression ever, I saw and ad on the internet that said “Natural penis enlargement”! I whas shocked, I remember how I started to walk in circels thinking that I maybe could change my destiny. I did imiditly buy a membership and read the instructions.

I did mainly jelqing and some stretching. I started easy with just a few minutes and then went on to do 40 minutes, 5 days a week. I quickly felt how my penis became much harder in flaccid, but I kept on anyway. After about two months with this rutine, something really strange happend. It had happend that I masturbated directly after jelqing, maybe two or three times, even thou I read that I shouldn’t (after 40 minutes, it’s pretty hard to not do that). This time, everything would change.

After having an orgasm, I imidetly felt that something was wrong. It felt exactly like fever. I became sick and had to stay home from work the other day. I noticed that I didn’t have any erection in the morning the day after. That happend sometimes, but usually I had ti 7 days a week. The day after that, me and my famly would go to a vaccation, and I thought that would be a good rest from my PE. When I didn’t have ONE SINGEL erection on the week, I became really scared. 19 years old, perfect health and impotent? I had at least 10 erections a day before, but now they were gone. On that week I had no chance to stimulate my penis.

When I came home I tried, but I only had “sloppy” erections. I wated another week, nothing improved. But blinded by my mission to enlarge my penis (it was still the same size as before PE in flaccid, but “hard” and I could see a slight improvement in erected size, it was more girth in my semierection than in my earlier semierections) I started jelqing again, 40 min. a day, 5 days a week. I kept in for a few months, no remarkeble erectionimprovement.

Than, I met a girl, for a one night stand (the first time for me). She was very pushy, that’s the only reason that it happend. When I couldn’t get a good erection there, I stopped PE for good (exept some less fortunate vacuumpumping, that I wrote about earlier). This was now 14 months ago. Since that, I always wake up without erection and that’s the FIRST thing that I think about in the morning and it always sabotages my day. I’m not a man. I’m almost impotent.

After this messy story (sorry for my bad english) I have a few questions:

- My erections are better now, slowly improving. I can have pretty hard erections but it takes moretime than before and I hardly ever have a spontanious erection that’s hard ( my “hardest erection” today are about one inch longer and also thicker than before PE). I can now have pretty good erection from pornmovies without using my hands, which is new. Why don’t I have erections in the morning? I know that men have erections in the morning because the testosteronlevels are high than, why doesn’t it work for me if pornmovies does? Any recommendations what to do?

- EVERY TIME when I have to pee, my penis grows up to an inch! That never happend before PE. Why does that strange thing happen? The size is back to normal 30 seconds after peeing again. Could this be a clue to what’s wrong? What is activiated when you have to pee?

I’m thankful for every answer!

/DM

You clearly had some decent nerve damage, which really takes time to fully recover from. It’s not usually a 100% erection thing for quite a while.

You don’t state your current age. Still, you must be in your early 20’s. Are you doing kegel exercises?

Well, one thing I’ve come to understand lately via research is how quickly at about age 20 or so that hormone levels start to dip. Not enough that you shouldn’t get wood, but that insane wood stuff of the teens is a hormonal thing and not something you’ll see again naturally. Still, I wonder about it for you.

Understand this - there are just times we go through as a man where our stress gets to us. Consider if you’ve really been sleeping well. If you haven’t, don’t expect to get good wood very often. Deep sleep and the resultant stimulation of growth hormone (and accompanying testosterone levels) is the cause of that wood.

d/m;

Stress and anxiety are surely major causes of erectile dysfunction, including a decrease in or even absence of nocturnal erections; and your post reveals a whole lot of continuing stress and anxiety.

Sounds like you are getting some very significant growth. Heck, an inch erect to any of us is a world of difference and I hope it is to you, too. Take your gains as they come, celebrate them, and begin now to teach yourself gradually that worry and anxiety only hold you back from achievements of any kind. From reading your post, I felt that you are experiencing positive changes that you are maybe not even seeing yet yourself.

You say your penis grows an temporary inch everytime you urinate. I don’t know why that is, but I sure wish that happened to me! That could be a major advantage to getting over fear of shared mens’ rooms. It took me decades to get over that fear and an additional flaccid inch, even temporary, would have helped a whole lot in the process.

Think positive. All the time. As for women, you have no knowledge at all of how they will feel having sex with you. If they like you as a person, they will most likely enjoy sex with you, imo.

do the postage stamp test.

get a roll of postage stamps and stick them (all still attached to one another) around your flaccid dick before you go to sleep. just use enough stamps to go around once with a little overlap. if the circle is broken when you wake up you had a nocturnal woodie.

More than likely at your age it is 100% psychological. perhaps a visit to a urologist would reassure you and get you back on track again. A word of caution. Don’t mention PE. Most of these assholes know shit about pe and if they did they would prefer to operate for a few thousand bucks. You might try some yohimbe or horny goat weed, I find that these work (not as well as viagra but they do work). Self stimulation without the pressure of penetrative sex can help you build confidence also. Good luck.

Dreadman,

Welcome! We are glad that you are here. You have received some great advice some some of our most experienced members. I have only one thing to add. Women look for a hell of a lot more in sex than just intercourse. I regret to day that my wife and I had mediocre sex for years until I wised up and began to learn about her clitoris and her G-spot. I can now give her some incredible orgasms without even putting my penis in her. These are not a substitute for intercourse, however, if you study and learn these techniques, you will become much more confident with women and the intercourse will be great, but not the only thing.

Good luck

Jelktoid

Thanks! I’m really happy for all the answers! I’ll try the “stamp-test”, great idea! I see things more positive now, actually.

About the growth when urinating (really wicked): I’m afraid that there will be rumors if people would see me with different size from one day to another, what will they think? One day I’m one inch shorter/longer than the other day….

I’m thinking aboyt surgery, it makes my penis 1-2 inches longer. I think that maybe also would stop the sizechanging. And of course, give me a much better self confidence.

two things to tell you, the first is urgent:
DONT DO THE SURGERY THING!

first of all it costs alot. Secondly it can cause a hell of a lot more damage than it’s worth. Thirdly it would be (I imagine) very painful and disabling for a long time while you heal…. just dont even consider it. use natural PE.

Second thing I gotta say is a suggestion, if you are uncut then you dont need to do a postage stamp test, all you need to do is wear fleecy sort of wollen pants to bed….

when you get up in the morning, if you have had any nocturnal erections, there will more than likely be some traces of trouser fluff under your foreskin….. I just thought this one up guys hehe what you all think?

won’t work if you are cut, obviously.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by dreadman .
About the growth when urinating (really wicked): I’m afraid that there will be rumors if people would see me with different size from one day to another, what will they think? One day I’m one inch shorter/longer than the other day….

Do not do the surgery until you have _thoroughly_ researched the consequences. This is an extremely delicate procedure on very sensitive tissue. In spite of what you may read, there are very few surgeons competent to do the work and many dissatisfied customers.

I wouldn’t call what we do here “natural” by any stretch of the imagination :-) but the kinds of PE discussed here give a better result for a lot less pure pain and money. That’s just my opinion.

Possibly 95% of all on this board have suffered the anxiety you have over penis size to some degree or other - obviously some are more affected than others. For that reason we are here.

I found that just sharing my anxiety on the forums helped me extremely.

All I want to add are a couple of points. First, you have a good headstart over the majority here, owing to your age. We all want a bigger penis ASAP, but patience is required. Think what 5 years PEing could do for you by the time you are in your mid 20’s. I have been PEing over 2 years now…never thought I would be continuing for so long. Others have been at it much longer. Give yourself time to recover; you won’t regret it.

Secondly, if you are going to fork out the money for surgery, which in my opinion is the VERY last resort and VERY risky (Do you realise that there is a possibility you could really fuck up your organ FOR GOOD!!?), why not visit a variety of specialists beforehand. Urologists, surgeons (for informational purposes), and shrinks. Hell, why not…if you have the balls to go through surgery, I’d find the balls to talk to two or three shrinks about the idea first. No harm done there.

I hope you understand where I’m coming from. Before making any decisions, get your shit sorted out. Just wishing for success isn’t enough.

Please think things through carefully; there are many alternatives to surgery (which requires hanging weights several hours a day ANYWAY), and there are a lot safer.

On the surgery…I was considering it too before I found this site…

don’t forget with surgery the gains are mostly while flacid so that will do nothing for your sex life plus I believe erections are weaker or in the least don’t point up anymore…and results aren’t immediate it takes moths of hanging post surgery to see results…

I suggest ordering a bib hanger (or starter if more suitable) asap as they won’t be available for long…best of luck to you and I suggest often referring to the gains members of this site have had to keep you motivated.

Dude…stop all and any PE from here on out. It’s obviously not for you! Sniff, sniff…I smell something. Smells like…….toasted TROLL>

Get off all caffeine. Not just coffee. All caffeine. It made a huge difference for me. It wasn’t till I 86’ed that last coca cola that I could see the difference getting off caffeine makes. It’s not an easy thing to do. But its worth it bigtime. Caffeine constricts blood vessels and harms health in many ways.

If you want to improve blood circulation, hardon intensity and general health including depth of sleep and body tension levels (not to mention your risk for cardiovascular disease), get off caffeine.

Peace

I too considered surgery, in fact I was ready to go under the knife - even had the appointment and finance organized ….. and then I found Thunder’s! :) I did a lot of research and found that surgeons won’t guarantee any gains at all and, despite all the pics on their web sites, the average gains are usually only about one inch. Sure you might be lucky and get more, but the reality is that most don’t. It’s a bit like PE - some guys gain very easily and others find it a struggle. But, most guys will gain something, the risks are significantly less (especially if you read a lot and take notice!) …… and it’s a lot cheaper!

There is now no way that I would entrust my increasingly large organ :) to a lig snipper - for me (and many, many others) there is no need. I’ve already gained more than most snippers would comfortably predict they could give me through surgery …. and the fat lady hasn’t sung yet! :chuckle:

But here is a bitter irony …… If I’d followed through with the surgery option and gained as much through surgery as I have now through PE, and I know this may sound strange, but I’d honestly be disappointed. Go figure!

There will always be guys who want the quick-fix or feel that surgery is the only way, but there are other options. Explore them fully before you make a decision!

lil1