PE/self confidence

What is it that ACTUALLY drives me to desire a bigger penis? My perception? My self-esteem? My past experiences? Society? Women? Other men? Competitiveness?

It is probably a combination of some or all of these things. There was a time when the size of my penis meant absolutely nothing to me. I can remember those days, back when I was 12-13 years old. I was still a virgin and hadn’t discovered “Pent-hours forum”, pornography, and back when I didn’t fully understand dirty jokes. I was young and had just discovered that my penis was a brand new WONDERFUL source of pleasure. It didn’t matter what size it was, it made me feel great. I loved my penis (often).

Then somewhere along the line things changed. I don’t remember what cause it. Again, it probably was a combination of things. I was suddenly growing self conscious of my penis. Was it good enough? Was it big enough? Around the same time (age 14-17) I became self conscious of a lot of things (which is common during the teen years). My body (too fat, not muscular enough). My face (pimples, can’t grow a beard, not handsome enough). My personality. (not confident enough, do people like me? Do women like me?)

As I grew older many of these issues went away. I am very confident in my over-all appearance and personality. Yet 2 things stuck. Body & penis. I desperately wanted a nicer body and a bigger penis. I have since (from age 17 to current, 34) purchased over $16,000 worth of weight training equipment and work out regularly. I am in great shape and have become very confident in that way. I have also done quite a bit of PE and gained 1.25” length and .75” (over 1” base) girth. Yet I am still lacking confidence in this area.

In reality 7.25” X 6” is a big penis. Is it the biggest? Absolutely not. Is it big enough? My perception says, no it’s not big enough. Why isn’t it big enough? I don’t know. I have never had any complaints about the size of my penis. As a matter of fact, most of the women I have been with have told me that I am big. Yet I still want more.

Who am I trying to impress? Why am I doing this?

My recent conclusion is that I am scared. I am afraid that my lover (or future lovers) will not find me as desirable as some past guy, because he had a bigger penis. Or that my past lovers will find a guy with a bigger penis and think less of me. I want to stand out! I want to be the best!! (as I’m sure we all do.) But who determines what the best is????

The answer is, I determine what the best is. My issue with the size of my penis is more of a psychological issue than a physiological issue.

If only I could recapture and hold onto that old attitude I had when I was just discovering my penis. Then size wouldn’t matter, what would matter was that I could receive great pleasure from my penis.

I guess what I’m wondering is; would I be happier if I simply accepted and was confident in my ability to give my lover and myself sexual pleaser? Would I be happier if I could convince myself that size makes no difference? Would my lover be happier if I was confident in my ability to give her sexual please and completely unconcerned with the size of my penis?

It is difficult to keep your self esteem, self confidence and personal perception on the positive side. Perhaps these are areas that I need work on as well. I enjoy PE. It makes me feel good in a similar way to working out making me feel good. Yet, I can take it to an unhealthy level if I become too obsessed with it. (and I have a nasty tendency to become obsessed with reaching a goal, even if the goal is unrealistic.) When I get back into PE (an I know I will) I will re-evaluate my routine and “take it down a notch”. I can be happy with my current size, and I will be working on my self confidence. I will also (at some point) continue my PE.

Just something I was contemplating lately.

I think you’re right seanjacobs, it’s more of a psychological issue than a physiological one. PE can become obsessive, PE can become unhealthy. But only for those that aren’t happy with themselves. My father use to tell me, “It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it’s your perception of who you are that matters.” Basically he was telling me when I’m happy with myself, other people see it too. My self-esteem, self-confidence, perception, all that depends on my outlook on my life, not others.

Why do I PE? For me, as selfish as that sounds. I want to know that for most women, my penis will fill them to the hilt. (More of a mental turn on for me). PE should be a personal journey. A journey that is shared with who YOU choose to share it with.
Do I want the biggest penis? No, I don’t want a monster cock like some of these guys have, I have my ideal and that’s what my goal is.

Will I stop after attaining my goal? Most definitely, once I know I have it permanently. Will it please every woman? Probably not, but that’s okay.

Am I confident in my abilities to please women sexually? Abso-fucking-lutely, I can’t please all women with my cock, but I KNOW I can with my hands and tongue. Look, only you know what you are capable of doing in the pleasure dept. You know you can please women, I’m sure have in the past and I’m sure you will in the future. Any bad sex experiences should be learned from, that’s it. Don’t dwell on it, just move on. Each experience is different, try to enjoy each one to the max.

I’m sorry if I’m rambling, but a pet peeve of mine is people feeling sorry for themselves. No Self-pity allowed. You fell off, now get back up and try again. Okay I’ll get off the soap-box.

Great thread (*****)! I started a similar thread called "The Great Big Dick, Big Confidence Debate." At the time it racked up around 82 replies of guys relating (or not) penis size to confidence. You should give it a glance as there is some good information held within it!

The Great Big Dick, Big Confidence Debate

Check it out!

Sean,
I go through cycles of liking my cock and then thinking it is too small and wanting it to be bigger. I am trying very hard to like my cock all the time so that my size is never an issue. At the same time I still want to continue jelq and stretching to make it bigger. Since I like my length/girth proportion I am working on overall enlargement. I would be happy to gain only 1/2 inch in length. My main goal is girth, and there I want at least 1 inch increase. However, if I have no gains, the work I’m doing on self acceptance will help keep me from being too discouraged. PE feels good anyway and is supposedly good for penile health, another reason I want to keep doing it.

I understand why you want to stand out with your lovers, but cock size may not be what makes you stand out to them. It might to a few but not to most. Beside, you can’t do anything about their past boyfriends cock size so obsessing over it only hurts you.

As a gay guy I can indulge my fetish for large cocks by enjoying sex with hung men. I like to have the smaller cock anyway because that means the other guy will be nice and big. Once in a while, though, I really get turned on when a guy verbally worships my cock. I get it nice and hard and veiny and wear a tight cock ring to enhance the effect. My cock isn’t even as big as yours. I still have far to go.

One exercise I’ve been doing to improve my self approval is during masturbation. I actually have foreplay with myself, touching and admiring my whole body, caressing my cock. I like to watch in a mirror. During the foreplay I am verbal and give myself compliments, just as I would like to hear from a sex partner. Eventually I get fully aroused and work myself into a nice orgasm. At night, when I’m in bed getting ready for sleep I will also rub my body and cock with pleasure. In addition to being very fun I believe this helps me to like my body and cock more.

Thank you for being open and honest about your self esteem challenges. I suspect most of us have the same issues. Even a man with a magnificent body, an incredible face that turns heads, and a large cock of perfect size, is likely to still feel inadequate. But, I have to be honest here, I would rather feel inadequate with those specs than my own. Nevertheless, I do like myself and work on it every day.

Personally, I don’t think having a big dick would have much impact on my self-confidence.

PE to me isn’t any different than lifting weights, playing a musical instrument, or engaging in any other hobby. It’s a challenge, and is rewarding when I progress.

Any woman of marrying material isn’t going to accept or reject me based on whether my dick is above average. I would never slide a ring onto the finger of one so shallow.

I guess my point is that anyone PEing purely to gain confidence should reevaluate matters. A big dick, social approval, lots of money, fancy possessions, whatever, won’t do it, as confidence is an internal thing. A false sense of bravado based on material things is as weak as its foundation. If you lose your dick in a chainsaw accident, your money in a lawsuit, or your looks with old age, that flimsy house of cards will tumble down. True confidence is based on internally knowing and feeling self-worth, which is independent of all these things.

I think losing your cock in an accident, no matter how big or small it was, and no matter how great of an attitude you have, would be a total soul-crusher.

My penis has grown but I’m still the same. No matter how big I make it, most likely I’ll still have the same issues and baggage. But I’d rather be depressed with a big dick than depressed with a small one.

My penis is a decent size anyway (never had any complaints anyway) but my primary reason for PE is that I just think a big penis LOOKS better in sexual situations. I mean isn’t it so much sexier and hornier to see a woman sucking a big penis or being penetrated by a big penis? That’s what I’m trying to achieve. And I am in no doubt whatsoever (despite what countless surveys/magazines etc tell us) that women prefer bigger dicks, so again that adds to my desire to get bigger.

I’m looking to get to 7 by 6 and I’ll be over the moon with that as I’m 100% sure ANY woman would be! and that is what builds confidence my friends!

Confidence is as much personal perception as material wealth is. I want to do PE to boost my-selfconfidence just like I want to earn more money to sustain and improve my living. Is this a wrong way of look at things? I’ve heard much too many people saying that it indeed is. I choose to ignore that because I’m tired of day-to-day thoughts that I need to do overtime or part-time work elsewhere to pay my bill and give the ones I love a life I think they well deserve. Just the same, I’m tired of wondering if I’ll be too small to satisfy the next girl or not. On the other hand, I do know that I’m quite well off financially and my penis is not exactly small either. I just believe that increase in either will work towards my overall well-being. I don’t want it all, I don’t want a baseball bat in my pants just like I don’t need some French 17th century furniture set or a private jet. I have my goals and I’m working towards them. I have my self-confidence, I would just like my peace of mind too…

…and a lot of it too!!! :D