gageman,
Don’t let that woman-thing do this to you. She wanted to hurt you and knew how to do it. Ask some of the vets, particularly any doctor(s) you can find here at Thunder’s whether or not natural PE can be or has been done with the procedures you’ve had done.
I’m so sorry about what you’ve had to go through. I’ve had my own hard-blows, and I know it’s tough. Stick through it and, no matter what, resolve to make this the beginning of a new and more happy life for you. You’re 42 years old—much too young to lay down and let an angry ex’s words bring ruin into your life.
If only we could transfer feelings from one person to another, I’d take some of your hardship from you. I mean that. My heart is breaking for you, but I know you can make it out okay. Try to think of something you can do to keep your mind off of what happened and what she said. If you don’t, you’ll most likely replay things over and over in your mind and, even worse, visualize scenarios that will only bring further torment. Keep her and whatever she’s doing out of your mind. Begin your new life and be strong—you still have a lot of life left.
I’m so sorry all this happened; turn it into something good for your future, please.
"Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty". -Roland, in Stephen King's The Last Gunslinger