Some important perspective

glad to help tug. BTW, she told me she had a boyfriend who was over 10”… now even she’s off by an inch or two, that’s way way bigger than me. I don’t think she’s off though… she’s a pretty precise person in general.

Damn! It’s incredible that you are simply the best she’s had and she’s been with a 10” monster. I keep hearing the same thing: size matters, but just to a point.

If you had to impart some sexual wisdom to a lonely monkey what would it be? :)

Sorry to be so pressing for information, but after what you’ve said and I’ve read, there seems to be very little correlation between a big dick and good sex. Granted that a bigger dick may enhance sexual performance — it’s the reason so many of us frequent these forums — but bigger doesn’t necessarily mean better.

I don’t chase after sex because I *know* it’ll be dissappointing. I’m not a depressed or sad individual or anything, I just prefer to avoid awkward situations as many of the girls I have opportunities to sleep with, I’ll see again and again. At one point, there was a restaurant FULL of waitresses that wanted me. I even went out with a couple of them, but turned down sex (even when in the same bed) because I knew the consequences. Women do talk, after all.

Another question is: being as good as you are in bed, what is your motivation for PE?

If you want to keep any of these things private, I understand.

I too share the upward curve, it is a great penile aspect!

Rocky with your skill bigger can still only be better, that’s why I think guys that start small or regular will always be better lovers because we had to learn not to depend just on the size of our dicks to please are women.

You guys need to ask your lady what she wants and let her tell you what feels best. Stop focusing on your dick and start focusing on your lady. My tongue has always worked better than my ten inch plus pecker. Not that she’s ever complained about my size.

Horsehung

tug_monkey, I wouldn’t say I’m that skilled.. just happen to hit the right spots I think. I know one thing.. she doesn’t want a guy who isn’t confident. I’m not the most confident guy in the world, but I haven’t let it show much in bed I think.

I agree with Dino9X7; I think gaining size would only help. I’m not going to get obsessed with it, but I might as well try if I have the time.

I’m not trying to kiss your ass or anything, but the things that you mentioned (even horsehung) are completely non-obvious to me. Seriously. The only other people I’ve seen having sex are pornstars and unfortunatly I’m learning that this type of sex is for show and not the way (at least always) good sex is generally had. I’ve known a couple of guys that stated in passing that they had girlfriends that trained them in the ways of all things sex. I was too embarassed to ask for tips, trying to maintain my manliness… haha.. Anyway, I haven’t been lucky enough to come across one of these women and my only other frame of reference has been smutty videos.

The websites, the confidence thing, the tounge (implying mucho foreplay) are pure gold. These are things that I knew existed, but didn’t think to spend time on. I just figured that thrusting was the most important part and thus I would jump to it as quickly as possible.

Anyway, you’re lucky to have a good partner to enjoy great sex. The day I make a girl scream in extasy, will be a very happy day indeed!

I agree with horsehung, communication is key…I’ve found that most women will tell you what they like and don’t like, they just want us to ask. It’s also fun to use foreplay to explore their bodies and find all the errogenous spots. Each women is different. Plus you learn something new about them. Hell, I just found out that feet can be such a turn on for some women and myself. I can honestly say I now have a foot fetish. So make it fun, don’t just go at it, take your time and let it build.

All great information… So, if you’re having sex with a girl, for the first time, how do you ‘communicate’? I know it sounds dumb, but I need to know. Do you ask her questions? Do you say things like: “tell me when it feels good?” Do you listen to the moan factor?

I want to put me PEnis to good use! I may as well start increasing my dick as well as my sexual knowledge. Apart, they seem to be worthless..

tug…

Here’s my theory of having sex with any particular girl for the first time, but mind you I’m not exactly an expert here .. I can count my partners on one hand. But I still think I know basically what to do:

1. Make out for what seems like forever!!! I mean kissing, some breast fondling, overall groping, but NOT quite to the point where you’re fingering her. Unless of course she starts playing with your “monkey” first, at which point the green light is shining bright for you to at least do some fingering.

2. Once you get to the point of fingering her, do it for a LONG TIME. This is where some great G-spot work comes in.. learn to basically do a “come here” with your middle or index finger (or both I suppose), rubbing the rough area on the top side of her vaginal canal, right where you would imagine would be the “inside” connection to the clitoris. Be careful since supposedly some women are too sensitive there and feel like they have to piss if you rub it. But in the two girls I’ve finally gotten smart enough to do this with, they’ve absolutely loved it.

3. Hmm… this is debatable. I’d personally want to try for some oral on her, but I’ve found that girls are generally shy to let you do this so soon. They think it’s more personal and “special” and should be saved for later. I’d say go for it, and if she says no, who cares… it probably sort of turned her on anyway knowing that you wanted to.

4. Get on top, go kinda slow, kissing her (if she’s height-compatible with you), etc.

5. Tease her a bit. Put it in only part way and pull back out really quick. Every once in a while, sort of randomly, put it all the way in and hear her go “mmmmmmm” or “stop teasing me” or “that’s not fair..” all with good overtones.

6. It’s time for the G-spot positioning and thrusting if you have figured out how to do it.

You might ask once or twice at most if something feels good. You have to say it like you already know it does though… and only ask when you’re pretty damn sure it does. If she’s biting you, putting her head in a pillow, etc. you’re probably on the right track. Of course if it’s that obvious you probably don’t have to ask…

When I say to do steps 1 and 2 for a “long time” .. I mean do it until you’re almost bored with it. She’s probably still loving it. Guys are different than girls in that regard… at least in my experience. They probably like to make out longer than you do, so just do it, especially if we’re talking about the first time.

disclaimer: I wrote this like it’s a “formula” or something.. that is by no means the case. Your mileage may vary for sure. I slept with a girl who wanted me to put in her ass the first night. A long term girlfriend never once let me stick a finger inside her… she was uncomfortable with that for some reason. You just never know. But if you follow this “recipe” I doubt you’ll go too wrong. The steps are not in stone, and aren’t really “steps” at all. Just logical milestones along a continuous path.

hope that helps.

Rocky: I’ve got almost the exact same measurements as you, but for height, you’re a good 8 inches taller than me man. I guess one’s size is much more noticeable when they’re 5’10” and taller because many ladies visualize my cock as pretty decent sized or sometimes above average. When it’s erect, it goes nearly right up to my belly button or when I’m sitting down it passes my navel. (Probably not the same case for you since you’re so much taller.)

It isn’t until after my dick is inside them that they realize that it’s not really that great at all. Perspective is definitely a good thing in my case. The only problem I have is when they see it flaccid. :o I don’t let that happen until afterwards.

To try and make a girl think that I feel big and not just look big the first time I’m with her, I usually do something like insert a single finger and slowly penetrate her with it for about 15 seconds (since the vagina adjusts itself to anything that is inserted). Then when it’s time for the real McCoy, my finger is instantly replaced and her body/imagination is fooled into thinking I feel bigger than I am. This doesn’t always work (especially if she’s recently been with someone bigger.. obviously) but I will say that its saved my ass a couple times.

WIth a girl that tall, you better watch yourself that twat doesn’t come up from behind and seduce/molest her while you’re not looking…. He’s evil that way, don’t you know.

Rocky5,

That was a bombshell! What a surprise it was for me when I read that I should ‘take it slow.’ I always avoided long make-out sessions for fear of the girl getting bored! I also was very quick to change the type of foreplay or sexual positions, in an effort to keep it interesting for the woman. How wrong I was! My keep-it-quick attitude comes from my desire to please the woman. Ironically this behaviour is probably the very reason my sex isn’t good. Everything I do in the bedroom, I do for the benefit of the woman; it just so happens that what I do isn’t really making things better.

I actually really enjoy making out. In fact, the longer I make out, the more aroused I get and the harder it is to resist sex. Not only that, I enjoy oral with a girl and I love fondling. To be honest with you, I could do these for hours at a time, and it’s what I’ll start doing.

Also, your other info on fingering and the g-spot is great stuff. My head is still spinning! :spin:

I feel I have to communicate how important your post was to me. You’re post has given me a GREAT confidence boost in the sexual area. Now, I will not feel pressured to press her buttons quickly for fear of her boredom. All of my sexual life I’ve fried to do my best to please women, but with little feedback (or info) it’s tough to improve. Especially when (due to poor performance) repeat sexual encounters are somewhat limited. That’s why your message has *literally* changed my life.

I don’t mean to ass-kiss, but holy shit! I’ve got great footing and am ready to start my journey. I promise you that this information won’t be wasted, I’m going to become a sexual savant in the bedroom using your core principles. FINALLY I know what to do.

Thank you.

Wow, you’re welcome tug.. glad I could help. Post any “results” you get in here.

Also, I know how the lack of feedback thing goes. With my first girlfriend, it turned out she was faking sometimes… well at least that’s what she told me when she was mad and denied when she wasn’t mad… but the point is that if she would have just been honest, I would have done something different to improve. I thought things were good, so I didn’t think I needed to try much harder. Plus, the real problem was that I had NO endurance and basically couldn’t do much else in terms of positions, etc. … the whole “g spot” thrusting thing would have made me blow in literally 20 seconds or less. Now I have some better endurance, so it’s not an issue.