Hi and welcome;
Read the posts in Pumping 101, and a whole lot of useful material stored here in packposts at the Pumpers’ Forum.
“Once in awhile” won’t do it. Work out a reasonable and regular schedule for yourself, X times a week, and stick to it. PE takes dedication/commitment.
You’ll drop out in weeks or a couple months if you can’t get your head geared toward an understanding of the work involved.
If your goals are important to you, you will probably make it all happen and we will be here to cheer you on during the process and when you get to where you’re feeling good about your size.
Just a suggestion: Post your beginning stats in Size’s PE Date Site (see bottom of nearly any page here.) This will help you track your progress, which will encourage you on, millimeter by millimeter. This isn’t an overnight transformation.
Thanks for posting. You have a whole lot of support behind you.