An Unexpected Journey

Hi all.

After stumbling across this site the other day, I decided to register and see where things go. I may as well record some thoughts and context at the beginning of this journey. Apologies in advance for a looooong post.

First, I have no prior experience with PE and truly wasn’t looking to explore it. As far as I can tell, my penis is very average (~5.2” BPEL and ~4.5” MEG when I last checked, if I remember correctly). It was never going to win awards but I also haven’t gotten any complaints. And I really only share it with someone I’ve developed emotional intimacy with anyway, so size wasn’t an issue for me. Which isn’t to say I haven’t fantasized about having a bigger dick….

However, I changed up my ADHD medication in early August and that has led to urological side effects, namely ED and apparently an enlarged prostate with all the weak, frequent urination problems I hadn’t expected to experience at 42. I love how the new meds help me focus and follow through on tasks, and I can deal with the urination issues while my doctor and I sort out the dosage, but damned if ED isn’t taking its toll on my mental and emotional well-being.

So, after the past three weeks right so of not being able to get hard at all without a -lot- of manual encouragement, and then usually not being able to keep my erection long enough to climax during masturbation (did I mention having “delayed orgasm” as another side effect?), I started looking around at my options.

I began with prostate milking after reading about that having therapeutic value. Lots of fun and it has allowed a decent piss now and then. I hoped it would help with masturbation but it still wasn’t enough to get me hard without maybe twenty minutes of manual coaxing. I’m taking ginkgo biloba now to see if that can help counteract the antidepressants at all. And I’d been trying to remind myself that this is (hopefully) temporary until I get my meds sorted out.

But then I looked back and realized I’ve been having sporadic ED episodes for a number of years, pretty much since I started on antidepressants. Those episodes made things in the bedroom a bit more of a crapshoot than I would’ve wanted. But the last four or five years have been: 1. My marriage falling apart very slowly and then all at once, 2. A year of voluntary celibacy, first so I could sort out being on my own for the first time after 20 years with the same woman and then because I didn’t want to get COVID or pass it to my son, and 3. A year-long relationship with a woman I loved deeply but that included just a brief-though-intense couple months of sexual intimacy owing to compatibility issues that ultimately led to us breaking up (turns out her late father almost certainly had undiagnosed ADHD, so every time I had an executive-function fail, like arriving later than I had agreed or interrupting her in conversation because of my enthusiasm, was essentially a “trigger” for her and a reminder of her father that totally killed the mood for her for days after). TL;DR I haven’t been having much sex anyway so I didn’t notice the ED until I suddenly couldn’t get it up at all.

The last two weeks or so I’ve just been obsessively reading up on how other people handle these side effects, because the years-long pattern I noticed of occasional erection difficulties tells me that changing just the new med isn’t going to magically fix all my ED issues. And I’ve tried to figure out what parts of my sex life have been “normal” and which haven’t. This leads to how I arrived at your site. I promise.

Staring at, handling, inspecting, studying all my sex parts so much really got me thinking about my balls and how I’ve never felt great about them. They’d be fine most of the time, relaxing in their hammock with not a care in the world. But ever since I first started ruining perfectly good socks back in middle school, I’ve noticed that my beans had a habit of disappearing way up high whenever my hand was spending a lot of time near them or I would have enjoyed showing them off to a partner. Or when it got cold. Or lots of other times. I’d never talked about it with my doctor or anyone else, but now I wanted to know what it was. And I found a name for it online: retractile testicles. The whole thing was caused by the muscle connecting my balls to the rest of me being -too strong-. It wasn’t just me having a weird set of messed up nads. Other people have this, too! Maybe I could find out how they deal with it.

I found some information about ball-stretching. That sounded like a possible solution but I couldn’t be sure that it was something that should be done with my mighty cremaster muscle. I didn’t want to permanently mess up anything down there, after all. I spent hours trying to figure out what the pros and cons even were before I could begin weighing them. But then some googling turned up a wonderfully helpful post by SirD in the public Penis Hangers forum (Hanging My Balls).

So last night, encouraged by SirD’s example, I gave it a try. If he could use clamps and weights to stretch his cremaster into letting his testicles stay in the scrotum (and 8” farther than that!), surely I could at least try tugging mine down a little with my hand to see what would happen. With a goal of wrapping my thumb and index finger around my sack between my balls and my groin and then pulling down a little, I warmed up the area a bit and then teased my testicles out of my groin and into my scrotum. I had to do this several times before I could get a grip. Just this process without any further tugging pulled my left ball down farther than it usually goes. I will not lie: it hurt! But not much more than my eggs would sometimes hurt when they ascended. Which I used to confuse with blue balls.

But I kept gently reestablishing that hold on and off through the evening. I found a rather stretchy cock ring to keep my balls from retracting for a while without them having to do as much stretching as my finger and thumb required. I was a little sore there when I went to bed and I’m still a little sore there today.

But the boys haven’t retreated inside all day! I’ve had a huge smile on my face as I walk around the house, often checking things out down there and occasionally doing the grip again with a little tug.

I decided to put my testes to the test by watching a little porn to find out whether they’d stay in my sack even as everything tensed up a little (since my balls would still retreat even when my dick was incommunicado). They stayed where they’re supposed to be!

What’s more, while watching that bit of porn, I had my first unmanipulated erection in the past two or three weeks (aside from waking up to wood in the middle of the night one single time)! And I was able to repeat that later tonight, too. I don’t even mind that my dick went limp almost immediately after: Progress is progress, baby! I have no idea whether it’s the ginkgo, the recent dosage change of my ADHD med, something physical related to the ball stretching, or even just feeling awesome about having all-day hangers for the first time.

My plan now is to try verifying that 4.5” MEG I listed above and then order myself a pump. Pumps are specifically supposed to help with ED, after all. I’m inspired by the stories here of pumping leading to better EQ and I’m eager to find out for myself. Also, I’m now quite curious about other enhancements that may result along the way since there’s nothing wrong with having a penis that’s somewhat, um, above average.

I’ve looked around the site a lot over the past day or two and I’m impressed by the supportive, knowledgeable, non-judgmental vibe that I’ve gotten from each post I’ve read. I’d really like to hang out here virtually while I’m trying to get my wang healthy and set my nutsack into being a true showpiece.

Thank you all for creating this space. And, if you’ve actually read this far, thanks for giving me a chance to share all these thoughts and details with somebody. It feels good just letting it all hang out, as they say.

It’s annoying as hell, but it’s just a side effect of the meds. You’re not chasing the will-o-the-wisp of “WTF, dude, it worked the other day!” and trying to find some way to deal with it.

You might not want to climb on the “meds to counter the effects of other meds” merry-go-round, but one of the drugs commonly prescribed for enlarged prostate problems is Tamulosin, commonly known as Flomax. One side effect of that drug is erectile enhancement. You might see what your urologist thinks, assuming there’s no unwanted interaction with your ADHD med.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and it shrank in the wash. Have you had your testosterone level checked recently?

I’ve seen a number of comments about that. Also seems to be fairly common when taking anti-inflammatories.

Yes. The wossnames that connect the testicles to the body are supposed to be something like a foot and a half long when unwound, but it’s common for one or both not to have gotten the message. In my case, the right one. It took weeks of steady discomfort before it decided to cooperate. I quit each time at a fairly low level of discomfort; grinding through might have been faster, but I got there in the end.

You’re past the hard part. Now you just have to continue until you get the hang you want.

Look at the chart in the pumping section and order the correct tube. It’s easy to think “I’ll just order the larger one and grow into it”, but that can be uncomfortable and aggravate edema. And make sure you get a vacuum gauge!

I recommend keeping a log of time, results, and observations. If nothing else, it can help prevent slacking. PE can get pretty boring, and it’s easy to start putting it off.

I did a quick sanity check web search before posting about Flomax, using “flomax erection”, and got a bunch of hits saying yes, indeed, Flomax can give you wood. Someone PM’d me questioning that, so I searched “flomax erectile dysfunction” and got a bunch of hits saying nope, no wood with Flomax. So it’s another of those maybe-yes, maybe-no things.

“Sorry about that, Chief!”

Maybe-yes maybe-no!

OK, it looks as though I’m going to try this out!

My pump will get here in two days. I confirmed the starting measurements that I remembered (5.25” BPEL and 4.5” EG) and decided to order a 1.75” cylinder. I’m at the upper edge for a 1.5” cylinder and if I’m going to gain size I don’t want it to be all length and no girth. The 1.75” cylinder’s upper limit of 5.25” EG is a convenient girth goal, and proportionally 7” BPEL seems about right. So that’s what I’m working toward, at least for now.

With that in mind I started on the Newbie Routine. The first two days went well since I had read tons of good advice here. I made ample use of my rice sock, I didn’t pull or squeeze too hard, and when I measured at the end of the second day’s session (before edging) I had an extra 1/2” in length and 1/4” in girth. I assume that disappeared almost immediately but I was still impressed by some quick results!

Still working on my sack, too. That flexible cock ring snapped (it was one of those with a clit-nub thing on top that holds a vibrating bullet, and I wasn’t going to use it with another lady anyway) so I bought some sturdier rings in a better size for keeping my balls in the right place. Once I’m comfortable having something wrapped tightly around my scrotum, I’ll likely get a weight.

Oh, and I think I figured out that what pushed me into Limp-Dick Land was an increased dosage of one of my antidepressants and not (just) my ADHD med. I had run out of the antidepressant last week and didn’t pick up a refill for three days or so, and that’s when I started getting spontaneous chubbies again (and after my first post a couple of them stayed around long enough to be useful!). When I resumed the med, I was back in LDL the next day. Unfortunately, I can’t just cut that med out because it also helps with migraines. Whomp whomp. Still, I’m excited (emotionally) that this looks like a solvable problem!

Summary of current goals by decreasing priority:
* EQ(!) and duration
* Stretch balls enough to eliminate the retractile issue
* 7” BPEL / 5.25” EG

I’m sure I’ll have questions as I go. Looking forward to being part of the community!

Thanks for the feedback, AndyJ!

I appreciate the info on Flomax. If I end up stuck with an enlarged prostate as a consequence of being able to attend to the basic responsibilities of life (thanks for nuthin’, brain), I have zero objections to medicating that to the fullest extent possible.

I never have gotten my T checked, but I’m thinking about it more now that I’m reading so much about bollocks. So. So. Much. I’ll ask my doc about it next time I go for a tune-up.

And man, I wish I saw your suggestion about not ordering the larger cylinder -before- I ordered the larger cylinder. If edema becomes an issue, though, I’m hopeful I can talk LA Pump into selling me a smaller cylinder for a large amount of money. And yes, of course I got the gauge!

Thanks again for the suggestions and for sharing some of your own experiences with similar obstacles. Out of curiosity, did you get over your ED without meds?

I’m reading through your riveting and meticulously documented rehab thread now, AndyJ. It’s like MacGyver After Dark. No need for you to respond to my facile question.

Oh joy, oh rapture unforeseen!

I’ve been taking all my meds and dead-fishing it the last few days. I really didn’t think I would have any kind of results so soon after starting on this treatment path. It wasn’t the best EQ, maybe 60%, but it was an E!

The pump was delivered a day early, so I’ve been able to use it for exactly two daily sessions of 10 minutes at 2.5 inHg. I am following avocet8”s Vacuum Pumping 101 program, incorporating it into the Newbie Routine.

Two days on:
1. Rice sock warm up
2. Manual stretching
3. Pumping (with the rice sock wrapped around the tube)
4. Jelqing
5. Edging
6. Reheated rice sock
7. Kegels

One day off’
1. Rice sock
2. Pumping
3. Rice sock
4. Kegels

Today is just my second off day and I haven’t pumped yet. I’ve also been stretching my balls for about a week, which includes a few minutes of daily testicle massage on the theory that it will help increase T. I don’t know exactly which exercises (if any) are helping most, but I’m planning to keep doing them all.

I woke up with wood! I still can’t stop grinning.

It has been a week since my last update and I have experienced very positive PI’s following a few negative ones. This is all while taking the full prescription regimen at the same dosage levels that have been a problem since the beginning of September.

For maybe two days after I reported the good wood, I had trouble getting much of anything going in that region. I was trying to continue my newbie + pumping routine as I described, but I could barely get hard in the cylinder and I certainly couldn’t edge. Plus I had turtling that just wouldn’t quit.

After interpreting these data through the lens of sparkyx’s wonderful Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to help growth!, I backed off a bit by jelqing more gingerly and making sure to apply more (longer not hotter) heat both before and after any exercises or pumping. I did not immediately start getting spontaneous erections again, but I was at least able to get hard during pumping.

Then yesterday I awoke to seriously firm wood with an engorged glans like I have basically only ever had when applying pressure to the base of my penis. Ever! Two weeks ago I was hoping to get back to where I was before my August and September medication changes; I had not expected to have any results superior to my pre-ED EQ and certainly not so soon! I decided to further test the bait ‘n’ tackle and had absolutely no trouble wanking to porn and climaxing in a reasonable length of time, neither too soon nor too delayed, and with great EQ. Wow!

I am still not having unprompted chubbies during waking hours. But my dick is clearly benefitting from some combination of penis exercises, pumping, and the stretching/massaging I have applied to my testicles and scrotum. I’m not even sure I care right now which is the decisive factor, although this may become more important later if I plateau and/or regress.

Meanwhile, the turtling has diminished greatly and my flaccid penis feels somewhat spongier for most of the intervals between pumping sessions. This is definitely providing a great deal of encouragement and enthusiasm.

I am starting to imagine how thrilling it is going to be when I re-enter the dating world full of more sexual confidence than I ever had before. Based on feedback, the motion of my ocean was always good as I am a very attentive sailor. But being able to employ my boating skills on a more seaworthy vessel will surely lead to some memorable pleasure cruises.

And with that I now fear myself lured by the siren call of PE. If firmer and fuller, why not also wider and longer? Why shouldn’t I be able to share with a partner the deeper and fuller sensations that more size might allow? After much reading in these forums and elsewhere on the internet, I have decided that I will add the use of an extender to my manual and pump work after an additional 3-4 weeks of following the newbie routine. I have already ordered a Quick Extender Pro.

The final matter to discuss is my nuts playing hide-and-seek at all the wrong times. The manual grip and massage is going well. However, I am having trouble finding the right equipment to help my equipment. Either the mass of spermatic cords, cremasters, various fascia, skin, fluids, and all else that exists in the space between my balls and my torso is very thick or my testicles are rather small, because I haven’t found anything other than my ”ok” grip that does all of the following:

1. Fits around that aforementioned mass of tissues
2. Slips over or around my testicles to reach the correct spot
3. Permits full blood circulation to my scrotum and all its contents
4. Prevents either/both testicles from exiting the scrotum

I have tried various cock and other stretchy rings and they all violate either 3 or 4. I bought a small number of 1.5” and 2” metal rings from Lowe’s that violate either 2 (the 1.5”) or 4 (the 2”). I also bought a 3/8” anchor shackle and a 3/8” D shackle based on Cool find at Home Depot today. The anchor shackle is terrible at 4 and the D shackle can accomplish 1 if I use a string tied in a bow instead of the pin based on to keep it in place, but it’s a tight fit and starts to fail at 3 within about 5 minutes. Maybe a two-piece ball weight is the right way to go, but my next try will be Velcro cable ties.

I’ve been purchasing so much potential ball-stretching gear at home improvement stores that if any of it does work I will have a pair of real Lowe’s-hangers.

Encouragement and enthusiasm!

PS, I think I would like to eliminate/reduce my porn habits and masturbate less than I did as recently as this summer. For now, though, I find them genuinely useful as diagnostic tools. Strange days.

Go to eBay and search on “scrotum stretcher.” There are a bunch of styles besides the usual ring, some suitable for smaller than normal testicles. (of which one of mine is, for whatever reason…)

There are some two-piece weights that you screw together; also some with a sliding “gate” held in by friction or a set screw. As long as you don’t get a center hole so small you constrict things, you can go as small as needed to prevent pull-through.

There are some that are hinged, same thing.

There is an ampersand-shaped weight that you can twist on the skin above your testicles. The one I bought weighs 3/4 of a pound and the internal width is 13mm. Enough for circulation, not enough for even the smallest testicle to go through. Downside: almost 3 inches in diameter.

There are some “flattened” styles that look like a long chain link; most of them don’t say what the internal width is, but you could glue something in there if you had to to make it narrower.

There are some that are round, but they have a plug going in through the side, that effectively turns the inside of, say, a 35mm ring into a C-shaped slot 15mm wide.

Variants come and go over time, probably following the ship-from-China cycle; everyone has something for a while, then they go away and everyone is selling something else.

There’s also the traditional “leather parachute”, a truncated cone that snaps together around your balls. They can fairly bulky when you add the weights; they’re more fetish gear than all-day wear. They’re typically just the parachute and some chains; you hang weights from the chains, so their size and shape are what you’d have to manage.

AndyJ,

Thank you again for the suggestions!

I decided to go with the “flattened” style. Measuring the D shackle that I had tried gave me a good sense of the clearances I needed. I ordered something from The Chain Gang narrow enough on the shorter axis that it should keep my testicles segregated and plenty wide enough on the longer axis to allow all the internal bits to fit in there.

It should arrive within a week and I’m sure I’ll post an update once I’ve checked the fit.