Anxiety Is Killing Me

I’m sorry things feel so challenging. Depression and anxiety can make everything feel hopeless. That is part of its challenge, since most of the things that naturally help us heal from them don’t feel worth doing when we’re in them. So it is a vicious cycle.

I think regularly seeing a therapist is the best advice, and a great start. It will take time, but will be so meaningful, as there aren’t really any quick fixes to depression and anxiety, and there are many habits of mind that set in over long periods of time that keep us suffering. These need to be seen, understood and lovingly unwound. A good therapist is so valuable in doing so.

Try to be kind to yourself. It is easy to see all the ways we feel we fall short of what we want to be or do in life. Giving yourself some space to figure things out and make your way to the you that you want to be can be just what is needed to start feeling better.

As you can, and feel like, and without making anything a goal that sets you up for feeling like you’re falling short, take time to do the things that reward you. Walks in nature, time with friends and family, intellectual and physical pursuits that nourish your body and mind. Hobbies and curiosities that call you. Trying the things that you’ve always thought you’d like to try.

Of course, eating well and exercising are valuable and important, but try to see them as opportunities to nourish yourself, rather than obligations. Bit by bit it gets easier to do what is best for ourselves because we more and more feel good when we do. And we can be flexible about when we stray from it, because it is a choice, and we can go back to our healthy baseline whenever we want.

Practically speaking, one thing not otherwise mentioned that has been really beneficial for my mood and well being is a daily morning cold plunge. I’m not saying it is a cure all, but there is a huge dopamine hit from it that lasts many hours. My mood and energy are really positive when I plunge. Definitely not a cure all, but for me, it can start my day in a completely different and more positive trajectory, especially when I’m feeling down, exhausted or feel less motivated. I work nights part of the time, and transitioning my sleep schedule leads to a ‘jet lag’ that feels a lot like depression and robs me of my motivation. The plunge has been amazing in helping me feel more like myself. Maybe it will help give you just the right amount of energy to feel empowered in whatever you want to do. And to enjoy yourself while you engage with it.

There’s a ton of info out there, and, if you’re interested you can figure out a way to do it regularly without an investment, either with cold water and ice in a bath tub, or even just a cold shower. If you like its effects and can make it happen you can build or purchase a dedicated cold plunge. I started with a bunch of ice in the bath to see if I wanted to do it, and then built one out of a relatively inexpensive chest freezer and some additional parts for filtration and cleaning. It was really easy and I’m happy to share the plans if you (or anyone else) is interested.