Sexual Performance Progress Thread

I have a PE progress thread running already … I wanted to start another one up focussing solely on improving my sexual performance … I think it will get more views and input if it is in its own thread … this is far far more important to me than increasing size … I will still be aiming for both … but if I have to concede one to the other it will be sexual performance which gets priority

My rough plan to start is to focus on EQ Improvements … down the line I would love to improve stamina … and along the way I’d like to increase my sexual skillset

I am single for the first time in a long time … I plan on staying that way for the time being … hookups and fwb are the order of the day at present … I ve already learnt this is much different to committed long term relationship sex

Obviously real life is nt porn … let’s get that out the way … and every man and woman is different … so relax, be calm, smile, laugh and be charming … put each other at ease … be well groomed … smell fantastic … tidy house … clean bedroom and bed … drinks and food available if required … bottles of water etc … and prepare mentally … plan and visualise elements of the time ahead … standard stuff which is highly likely to happen and throw in some wildcards … not trying to predict the future or overthink … just priming ourselves to be in game mode … muster up as much confidence as you can without being arrogant … every single person can be great at sex … any human being can do it … like anything in life it requires physical and mental effort … we can all do it … the above does nt involve taking your clothes off but will already set you out above the vast majority … confidence can be drawn from this

If something does nt go quite to plan … relax breathe and smile … make a joke … be charming … self deprecating … never get defensive or blame the lady … they are just as nervous and fragile as us … always treat them with the utmost respect

My EQ could be better … much better at times … my stamina varies and can be improved … my fingers and tongue are completely unaffected by these … and are my greatest weapon … I’m told I’m very good … but im always looking to get better … if EQ is nt what I’d like … focus even more on fingers and tongue … tease … go slow … forget all about EQ … the lady will as well … explain away with tiredness and tell her how much you want to make her come … same with stamina … tell her she’s hot and got you bursting so quickly you could stop it … then get back to work on her so she completely forgets … she will just remember how unselfish you were … and she will be back

Now for improving EQ … probli PIED … and poor masturbation methods … tight grip … coming soft etc … I’m still doing my own trial and error on this … the passing of time is the biggest weapon we have … the passage of time whilst not doing the bad habits which created the problem in the first place

About a year ago I went 10 days without porn or fap … complete no touch policy … this resulted in a great erection and sex … I did nt last too long from memory lol … but atm I’d take the EQ all day and then work on stamina

So outside of my PE routines I’m going to adopt a no touch policy as much as possible … just don’t touch … this means no edging … I want my brain to forget all the bad habits I have taught it … I ve cut out porn already … this will continue … hopefully sex will come regular enuff … if I do choose to masturbate it must be done properly and infrequently … no tight grip … can only finish if EQ is very high … basically with this I want to re train my brain with good habits

My PE routine will have more rest days … and I will aim to have 24 to 48 hrs rest before sexual encounters … preferably more than 24

Please feel free to comment, critique, suggest, think out loud, link, share, ponder, vent and add to this thread in any way you feel appropriate

I’m hoping it becomes a treasure trove of information for members to benefit from

My next hookup is potentially on Friday … its Monday morning right now … 4.5 days away

PE routines will be performed Monday, Tuesday and possibly Wednesday if I can find time … Thurs and Fri rest days … I won’t be pushing too hard

Complete no touch no porn no fap policy in place thru out

I ve bit the bullet and ordered some non branded cialis and viagra … my aim is to not need them … but this weekend promises to be a busy one and I’d like a bit of help if possible … I just hope they arrive in time

I will still continue to implement the improve my EQ plan detailed above … but it will take time … it could take a long time … it is this which has led me to the decision to buy the assistance … I am very serious about fully healing my mind body and brain naturally

I have no idea if they will work or not … it will be interesting to see either way … if they do I may be able to get an accurate BPEL measurement which will be welcome

Best thing you can do to improve erection quality is cardiovascular excecises. Try a form of crossfit training. The most famous workouts are named after women.. Lol I wonder why. I made my own workout called functional and fuckable.

As far as premature ejaculation look into the stoic lifestyle and practice delaying self gratification in everything you do. The mindset will carryover to the bedroom and your Dick.

Thankyou for your advice … I’m all over the stoics already … have been for a fair few years … delayed gratification is applied in the majority of my life … tho not enough in this area … it will be soon tho

As for exercise … I’m focussing mostly on strength training atm … I’m fairly fit … but I take on board your comment … something I’ll bear in mind

In other news the non branded cialis definitely works … as my test proved … this has certainly helped put my mind to rest with regards to this weekends fun … I’m hoping the increase in confidence will help … I’m also hoping it is reminding my dick of what it’s job is

In time I hope to wean myself of it as the hoped for EQ Improvements begin to develop alongside

In my opinion Cialis is way better than Viagra. I take only 5mg or 1/4 of a 20 mg. I don’t have ED but like you my erection is not always 100% so I take it now and then just to get that wonderful feeling of 100% erection. When I was single and dated allot of women I always took help from those pills after a couple of bad experiences.

Same re: couple of not quite hard enuffs is whats pushed me to try them … and as you say its a bit different when its dating/hookup sex to relationship sex … I ve only tried the cialis thus far … knowing what I kno now I would just have bought the cialis in hindsight

I took 10mg on my test … ill play around with dosages to see the lowest I require going forwards

Thanks for your input

After much reading and research I have come to some realisations re: any PE problems I have

In my opinion it is mostly down to poor masturbation habits … I ve trained my mind body and penis to deliver as much pleasure as possible as quickly as possible … over the years this has mostly been done to very vanilla amateur porn

There are many great threads on this on here … it is a very complicated subject with no two members being completely identical

Ive played about recently with edging and really paid attention to what my body was doing … it was doing all the usual tricks you would expect to bring on orgasm ASAP … namely being tense, breathing quick or not at all and spasming wildly and early whichever muscle it is which causes ejaculation (apologies one of the topics I constantly struggle to get my head around is kegelling and the muscles involved)

I ve been edging/masturbating in this way for years … maybe decades … little did I kno what I was doing :(

Last night thru controlling my breathing … breathing so my lower stomach moved in and out and aiming to stop the ejaculation muscle from spasming I managed to go about an hr with the aid of cialis

My new plan has 2 aims … and will likely take some time to bear fruit

A largely no porn no fap almost completely no touch policy in order to correct PIED … this is likely the easy part … alongside this more edging practice as above to train my mind body and dick out of the bad habits which have lead to the PE problems

All edging must be done with a high EQ erection … my PIED makes this tough … so I will focus on getting this solved first … maybe once or twice a week I will use assistance to practice ‘good’ edging until my EQ improves enough

I feel today like I am armed with a bit more knowledge than before and a workable plan to kick off with

Good luck with your plan!

As one with a 30+ year porn habit, I can attest to the effectiveness of dropping it permanently. Sure, you can know in your head that it’s unrealistic, but there’s also a “programming” that ocurrs when you watch porn. There are conscious and subconscious lessons being learned and perhaps even a certain “expectation” being set. It’s unlikely that any man that spends time being stimulated by these actors will remain unaffected.

My real sex life is so vastly different than the penetration-focused elements of porn that I cannot imagine ever tainting my expectations again. After less than three months without porn, my erections are beyond belief and my orgasms are frequently strong enough to border on painful; my partner’s pleasure is increasing too, as I learn how to focus on her pleasure and stay attentive to her feedback… These elements are virtually non-existent in porn.

I don’t want to risk detailing your thread further with my opinion on porn use, but I feel that much of what you’re worried about (and taking pills to combat) would be addressed with greater discipline regarding the content of your mind.

I sat that as a 43 year old man with a great sex life that jacked to porn for 30+ years; three months ago, my sex life started improving dramatically…

Dropping porn and getting my bench, squats, deadlift and pull ups on point has also done wonders!

Best wishes!

-Horseman1978-

Much appreciated horseman … thankyou for your comments

I’m about to do some weights as we speak

By all means comment away … the more input the better from as many members as possible … what we are discussing is far more widespread than is appreciated … and will only get worse as those younger than us get to my and your slightly older ages lol

Tbh when I hear of younger members using porn to help with their enlargement efforts I want to scream don’t do it … I suspect that the majority of members are edging incorrectly also … I kno I was

If I was in a long term relationship I would nt of started with the assistance … I really would not … but the nature of my casual meets means there is an element of performance to it … not least the lady tends to feels bad about it … probably worse than myself given my understanding of the problem … I could abstain until I improve … but life is to be lived

Thankyou for presenting your experiences after 3 months no porn … it really does help to motivate myself and no doubt others … I’m wondering what state you were in before you started 3 months ago? What issues did you have etc

Please fire away venting about the perils of porn to your hearts content … I will join in with you :)

As a man that cherishes individual liberty, I will not suggest that porn should be illegal. On the other hand, I DO think that it has crept in an quietly and is slowly destroying our sexual performance, sexual expectations and in most cases, reducing beautiful people to mere body parts to be penetrated/used. Intimacy, the kind that leaves the woman craving more is also absent from the porn set, as it distracts from the conquering penetration focus that IS porn.

Sociological concerns aside, I personally experienced a unique introduction to porn, since my first viewing was in magazine form (Playboy, Hustler, etc… Remember, I’m 43). The “digital” porn of today is more like Meth, where the old glossy magazines may be more analogous to cheap marijuana from the 70’s!

After over 20 years of playing my skin-flute to porn, I found myself needing harder and harder porn to achieve the same explosive climaxes. The next 10 years of my porn use were characterized by more and more hardcore content and then seeking progressively younger actors and even the occasional scene with violence or eeek, animals….

By the time I had logged over 30 years of porn viewership, I was noticing that I would wake up aroused after only 3 hours of sleep; I physically couldn’t go back to sleep without jacking to porn. This had gone on for a decade! Now, the orgasms were amazing and I frequently edged for hours before finishing, but that ultimately resulted in an inability to stay hard for real sex with my attractive wife without putting her into the “doggystyle” position so I could sneak glances at my phone while screwing her. It also meant that I rarely got more than 3 hours sleep… No joke.

Ultimately, I begun to have difficulty getting hard without porn and sometimes difficulty climaxing without viewing porn; after climaxing, I would go limp almost immediately. Since my wife has her best orgasms after I come, it was robbing her of the pleasure she deserved and stifling the intimacy that would have resulted from more satisfying sexual experiences. I also learned that the size/volume of my ejaculation affected my wife; when we had sex, the massive loads that a 48-72 hour sexual hiatus generated, gave her explosive orgasms when we had sex (clitoral stimulus was also happening), but when she gave me a hand job or the rare BJ, she would feel proud when she made me shoot a huge load on my chest or hers. Since I frequently masturbated 2-3x per day, the necessary 48-72hr “rest/recharge” only happened every few months. As a result, my dear wife frequently apologized to me after a “handsy” or BJ when my loads were the typical dribbles or feeble squirts; SHE felt like she wasn’t doing a good job and as a result, gave fewer HJ’s and BJ’s. After I quit porn, I talked in detail with her and she shared her observations; she thought it was my age and felt like she was faltering in her ability to arouse me.

Three decades into regular porn use, I begun to notice my discipline with fitness and diet falter; simultaneously, bitterness and anger toward my wife begin to form. I subconsciously blamed HER for my weak orgasms and poorly performing dick; after all, she didn’t look or act like the women on my screen, though she’s a very attractive woman.

It wasn’t until my bitterness grew to the point of adultery that I woke up. Yes, I created an account on a hookup site and after uploading pictures and a profile, I quickly had messages from a few potential “dates”. I communicated specifically with one mature woman that soon shared how her asshole husband couldn’t get it up without porn and actually wanted to screw her while watching porn! She was longing to feel a man that was aroused because of HER. She talked about just being “in the moment” with someone that could unselfishly let her pleasure be the focus. The similarities were simply too much and I was left feeling like the asshole I had become.

I quickly thanked her for sharing that and in a moment of courage, told her that I was little different and would be deleting my profile and learning to become more attentive and selfless. She was oddly encouraging, but it’s irrelevant, as I will not stoop to that level again. I wished her the best and deleted my profile.

Do I blame porn for all my problems? Hell no; I accept responsibility for where I let my physical desires take me! Lesson learned!!!

At that very moment, I chose to begin exercising again and haven’t looked at porn since. I’m not so foolish as to think that I cannot “relapse”, as I can assure you that I have tried to quit dozens of times in three decades; from self help videos to church groups and confessions to friends…. Nothing worked for me until I begun to experience negative physical, emotional and sexual ramifications.

I can say now with certainty, that connecting to my wife and being present and not distracted by the false expectations that viewing other people’s sex creates, we are both having BETTER sex, MORE sex and I’m frequently having multiple orgasms; it’s certainly new territory. As a matter of perspective, we’ve been married almost 24 years and by our guestimate, we’ve had penetrative sex around 3500 times!

If better and more frequent sex isn’t reason enough, my MEG had been a steady 5-1/4” for decades and is now almost always 5-1/2” EVERY MORNING! Recently, orgasms have begun having adequate ejaculation power to actually HURT my urthera by the second or third “contraction”. The lady even commented during a recent session of intercourse, that she felt it “hit her back wall” when I came. This makes her feel beautiful, and in turn generates powerful climaxes in HER that seem to make her more interested in sex.

It’s a big effin’ win-win!

I could go with more, but suffice to say, I have cheated her and myself by seeking the “quick fix” that porn served for me. I also learned to accept myself, failures and all. I don’t feel guilty anymore about the 30+ year habit I nurtured… I just look back and feel wiser and more committed to being a more disciplined man and a better lover.

As an aside, I also have confidence that I have never had and feel comfortable talking to any woman, any time. It’s not useful sexually, as I’m not going to stray in my marriage, but it’s a boost to know I’m getting some mojo back!

I ALSO have now developed adequate strength to perform a full Turkish get up (both right and left sides) with 105#. Yes, I’m one arm pressing and standing up with 105# in one damn hand, and I’m no “big guy”.

I recently pressed a bare Ford 302 cast iron engine block over my head (with one hand) to mess with a really big guy at a local parts yard; I believe it’s 108#. I have a 125# anvil I’m working to perform a Turkish get up with next!

Why is this relevant to 3 months without porn?

Because I’ve trained the Turkish get up for 15 years and have been stuck at 90# for a decade and a half. The discipline I have developed without porn has enabled me to break smash this barrier and I hope to one arm press my entire body weight someday.

Thanks for reading this and go well. Know that with discipline and good friends, you can do a lot!

-Horseman1978-

Fantastic in depth reply horseman … I can’t tell you how much I (and no doubt lots and lots of other members) appreciate the time you took to write such an in depth reply

The greatest of great news is that any damage done is reversible … all we have to do is stay away … our bodies do the rest :)

Absolutely; I know it was a verbose reply, but I felt like the context was crucial. You are definitely right, as our bodies (and minds) will adapt/heal, given adequate time.

I think it’s also critically important to avoid the pitfall that is “guilt”. In my plethora of attempts to quit porn before, I simply heaped guilt upon myself and felt like a miserable human for jacking to porn for three decades. Surely, I was some sort of screwed up miscreant that couldn’t get laid on the basis of my masculine traits alone and therefore I should feel even worse! It couldn’t POSSIBLY be the fact that most sane and emotionally stable women crave a human connection and feeling of security as a foundation that precedes sexual arousal, could it? Is is possible that most real women don’t just want screwed agressively until the man comes? Is is possible that pirn trains us to please ourselves and not our partners?

Once I came to grips with the fact that I’m just a high drive, visually stimulated man that simply developed a habit that I wanted to change, it became far easier and I approached it rather clinically. I also replaced my porn viewing with PE exercises and specifically do more hanging and pumping, as I’m not tempted to look at porn with a 10# weight hanging from my penis!

I also recognized that my “addiction” if I may call it such, was actually an addiction to AROUSAL and not necessarily porn. That was significant to me personally, as I learned that if I awoke at 2-3am with a raging boner, I just grabbed some lube, jerked off, and went back to bed. Sure, the climax was forgettable, because the dopamine rush from porn-fueled solo play wasn’t there, but I knew that after a week or three, that things would change. As an aside, several of the early days that I “flew solo” to deal with the 2am arousal, resulted in staying up anyway, but I enjoyed a good coffee and just went for a walk. I felt that I would have a few tough days, as I realized that this was a THREE DECADE habit! I was right, and certainly preferred edging to porn at 2am to walking with coffee, but I knew it would be a long term win.

Not surprisingly, within about 10 days, even my solo play climaxes we’re getting pretty damn good; most likely, because I had gone from climaxing 2-3x per day to roughly 2-3x per week. The plus side, however; was that for the first time in a decade, I am sleeping well and knew that if I awoke, I could take a walk, or do some PE, or if that didn’t work, I’d crank out a solo quickie and go to sleep.

The feelings of victory are beginning to arrive now too, as I’m having rock hard erections and as a testament to success, I realized that an old “free subscription” to a fetish site I had forgotten to close/delete popped up in my email yesterday; the thumbnail/preview was one of my all-time favorite performers in a scene I had gone back to hundreds of times over the past decade; I laughed to myself, experienced a rush of nostalgia and then deleted it and marked it “spam”. Sure, over the past month, I HAVE felt a little pull to return to the “easy money” that jack’n to digital girls provided, but the knowledge that I’m now making PE progress and having substantially more powerful erections and orgasms is payment enough.

I have also become increasingly attentive to my wife’s non verbal cues during sexual play and can now give her virtually countless orgasms without blowing my load. I frequently have penetrative sex with her that lasts an hour while giving her a dozen or two climaxes manually and with toys. I won’t come until she demands it, as that edging is such a rush, but when I DO, hold on! Last night my ejaculation hit our ceiling. I laughed, she laughed and that alone cemented my decision to leave the porn for others…

Now that my coffee is gone, and my 30-minute pumping session is done, I’m going to do some Turkish get ups! 10x per side @ 75#!

Cheers,

-Horseman1978-

PS: PM’s are welcome by anyone interested in my porn journey… Or how to press 100# overheard with one hand ;)

Many thanks to horseman above … and in private message … sharing his experiences in great depth for us all … much appreciated sir 🙂

So far in October I ve had 3 edging ‘accidents’ … in truth I was edging poorly … really I was feeding my addiction … I ve gone noPorn for well over a month now

3 faps in 10 days is a huge reduction … but not enough I’m afraid … so I’m going to start today an official noFap attempt … I prefer to call it noTouch as that’s what I am technically hoping for … it goes without saying noPorn will continue … I ve set my sights on up till the end of the year for starters

I suspect this along with my workouts will help me make significant progress in my EQ aims … I’m going to park possible pe issues for now … we ll cross that bridge if and when it’s necessary to do so … I have been reading a fair bit on it and will continue to educate myself on all things penis health as I go

Today is day #1 …

5 days noFap, noPorn is well over a month, I ve left the hookup sites … noTouch is not 100% but very close to it

Not noticed much so far … very early days … Ive only ejaculated 3 times in October and all were accidents … I ve done 3x 3 to 4 day streaks already this month … was 3x a day not long ago

I’m very focused atm … your dick not working kinda does that to you

Onwards and upwards 😁