Alright, guys- it’s time I stopped lurking around this thread, and introduced myself.
I’m this guy:
http://www.pegy m.com/forums/er … lease-help.html
When, in my desperate quest for answers, I first discovered this thread, I tried to join the forum; I received a rejection notice, saying that the forum was filled to capacity. I asked over on PEG if anyone who was a member here could help me keep tabs on this thread; Tinyman PM’d me and very kindly bequeathed his Thunder’s ID to me. Up ‘til now, I’ve just used it to read this thread.
As you can see, the last time I posted on PEG was back in November. Since then, I have seen several good urologists, including Dr. Munarriz at Boston University Medical Center. I have been tested for venous leak; it’s not present. All who have examined me have found no evidence of Peyronie’s. None of them have had anything helpful to offer on the "firm flaccid", most stating that it’s hard for them to comment on a change when they don’t know what my baseline was.
My symptoms remain pretty much the same: firm, retracted, clay-like flaccid; cavernosal tissue feels markedly different to the touch; penis feels rubbery and strange, tactile sensation on it has not been the same since that fateful night back in September; feels "weightless" when I’m walking around. I can get & maintain erections, with a lot of strong stimulus; but spontaneous erections (or those that used to derive from erotic thoughts) are pretty much a thing of the past (and before this shit happened, I was the kind who would get a hard-on from a stiff breeze). Morning wood is variable. My shaft shape has also changed; I seem to have a slight but permanent doughnut right around the first inch of shaft under the glans. That tissue feels firmer than the rest.
At this point, I don’t know whether I should just give up and accept this horrible state, or keep fighting. This has hurt my life so much. I was five months into a great relationship with a very sexually vivacious woman when I made my hugely regrettable mistake to try jelqing. She has supported me since through dealing with this… she is amazing, an utterly wonderful person… but I don’t know how long I can or should expect her to hang in with this, hoping for things to get better.
It feels hugely unfair to me- I still can’t get my head around the fact that so many guys can do this repeatedly with, at the very least, no bad consequences; I try it ONCE… and my life is changed. I have good days and bad… but many days- too many- find me going through a trying cycle of emotions over this, from anger to hope to despair to acceptance (and I know in the end, for the most part, the latter has to win out; you can only go in one direction in life- forward).
So, yeah, I’ve read all the theories, and I run in circles in my head with them. I think the most hopeful one is the idea that it’s a nerve issue, or an issue of muscle or connective tissue surrounding/outlying the penis. The personal evidence I find to support this idea is that, when I first rise in the morning, my flaccid penis is as close to normal as it ever gets, hanging soft and full, with the tissue feeling spongy and healthy like it used to, to the touch.
I have been doing fish oil, arginine, E, C, multi-B, benfotiamine, B-12, vit. E topical oil, helichrysum oil, Serracor ND, carnitine, inositol, colostrum, Ashwaghanda, warm compresses, etc for months. I eat very well, and I try to get good sleep (though god knows I’ve lost a lot over this).
After reading iron’s last post, I’ve ordered some organic castor oil and cotton flannel. I’m ready to try anything.
If anybody wants to get in touch via PM, please feel free.
Owen, I appreciate the job you’ve done trying to stay on top of everything and keep it organized.
Thanks.
I can’t give up; I still hold out hope that I can be "normal" again.
I feel for all of you who are also dealing with this, and I hope that together we can find a solution or set of solutions that will help.