Hey Tinyman,
I’m sorry you have a condition too, but thanks for joining. Thanks for the kind words and for the links. They are very interesting and I will look into the more.
It is sad how some people will blame everything for someone’s ED, except the agressive and medically unapproved manipulations of the penis the person happened to be doing at the time of the onset of ED.
It is interesting you said “I feel like I’m in a waking nightmare.” This are probably the exact same words I used when talking about this issue with someone.
Your symptoms to me sound much like 229233’s (a participant of this thread). Do go through his posts if by chance you haven’t yet — it might be helpful, as he healed over time. They also seem to match the fibrosis description I laid out in the thread.
What you say about kegels feeling weak and about better morning state, I have experienced too. However, that is only logical and IMO doesn’t reveal much. Kegels force blood into the penis, and if the penis is fully functional, of course their effect will not show like before. Morning state is bound to be great because at night a healthy penis has no less than several hours of erection which exercise the tissues and bring blood to the area.
The thing that I haven’t seen before is the shaft shape change you describe. I’m sure you know by now that many experience an occurence of strong veinage after this injury.
Programmed cell death. I don’t think that is very likely. My erection has no change of shape, abnormalities or changes that would indicate something like that. It can be full and normal for a brief time.