Coming Across Gay When Straight

You listed off a lot of reasons you think people might think you’re gay, but are they actually saying that? It sounds like you’re looking for a reason to blame for the fact that you want a gf and don’t have one, but I’m curious if that’s something people are really seeing in you or if you’re coming up with that yourself. Are a lot of guys hitting on you or something?

I am a homosexual male, maybe a bi in some respect. But to answer your question or dilemma,

Be yourself, show confidence in yourself. You have got the looks. Half of the people you admire want to be as lucky as you are. Some are stuck with their partners cause that is all they got. Just like that guy who is stuck in a simple job cause it pays the bills.

Girls like a man who shows confidence and has many goals. The same applies to gay guys or girls.

One thing we gays understand clearly is that love and sex are totally different things. Confusing one with the other get you nothing but trouble. So You liked someone physically, the man in you had an urge which lead to an encounter, then you either enjoy it or don’t enjoy it.

To believe that a great night with mutual sexual a+++ performance will lead to the wildest passion and love of your life is absurd. Sex is sex and love is love. Love is complemented by sex. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be as wild as Tinder/Grinder #27. But it is love and you wouldn’t change it for anybody else.

And yes, there is a chance that having a wild night allows you to discover somebody so cool and interesting.. Who knows what might develop.

Love doesn’t knock at your door, but you have to set your expectations appropriately.
Be yourself and let serendipity do its magic.

Don’t jump into something cause everybody is doing it.

Oh by the way, I have had the same problem all my life. I have been told many times that I am very handsome.
Their first impression, “really? I thought that you were straight” ..
Oh well.

I have pretty face blonde hair blue eyes 169 lbs 6ft 2” tall broad shoulders I’m a smoothie 8” penis nice heart shape butt Guys walk up to me on nude beaches you must be gay your gay mans dream all shaved smooth big dick nice girly ass pretty face. Any male friend I ever had always wanted to get down my pants. Yes I wear g strings shave smooth and well groomed don’t drink or smoke or swear. I love art I love the human body I think it’s beautiful. I love life and I find women to be desirable. I do enjoy looking at hot men and there size and I may be an exhibitionist ok I am I like to model. I have a beautiful wife who loves me and allows me to be the man. I’m into being very sexual anal stimulation as well. For two years I took hormones to feminize my looks and have a softer body but that’s the feminine side of me. You are who you are be proud of that sounds like you have a true heart and very caring that’s an asset because most men are pricks so I wanted to be different then them my dad was hard core all man and he made me shake when he was around. I always said I’ll be different and a better husband and father than he ever was. Well I sure have been. Love yourself as you are you sound like a keeper.

This might be terribly controversial, but I think all men are bisexual and just habituate their brains to respond to male, female, both, something in between, inanimate objects, or none of the above stimuli.

I don’t think bisexuality is abnormal, I think hetero and homosexuality are.

I deal with the same thing. Some people think I’m gay just because I’m fit, clean cut, polite, etc. I have now been married for 4 years and I’m still getting that from people. My wife has told me it’s because I don’t look or act like a “regular” guy/ person and to many people its like a “to good to be true” kind of thing. I have never been confident so I never dated much but I still dated.

We have very close family friends who are LGBT and we help the community with them and when they see us with them I am labeled gay more just by association and so is my wife. They run a clothing store as well and we sometimes help out there, I can be the only one there and even other guys think I’m gay. It the same thing if I go to the gym. I don’t dress in any revealing manner or super skin tight clothes either.

At the end of the day, like everyone is saying you do you. Do what makes you happy. Yeah it sucks being alone trust me I’ve been there but then I met my wife. I worked on myself and opened my self to try new things that helped find someone who is healthy for me. Before I met my wife I dated awful girls and they were so uncomfortable with themselves about me being to “pretty” or “nice” that they tried to change me by either getting me fat, being rude to people, wearing stained and ripped loose clothing, etc.

As someone who understands where you are coming from. Don’t waste your time on what other people are thinking. I know it’s really hard and I need to remind myself that till this day but just focus on getting to know someone rather than hooking up because at the end of the day you can hookup with a million girls and still be lonely. Sex is just sex, getting to know someone who loves you for who you are is completely different. Hope this helps.

That’s an interesting observation.

Homosexuality used to be called “queer”. Queer having the alternative meaning of strange or different. Sometimes the roots of words give a lot of insight into how something is really conceptualized.

Maybe some sort of misattribution has gone on in the cultural psyche where anything outside the usual is attributed to homosexuality. I’ve been alive for a fair amount of time and I don’t believe there’s such thing as a straight person or a gay person anymore. It just seems like if you put anyone under a microscope for long enough you find evidence they’re attracted to at least one member of the same sex. I think it’s just the cultural stigma of homosexuality that makes people deny it. Sort of like how some people deny masturbating to avoid the stigma, but everyone does it.

From an analysis point of view, there’s more that leads me to believe this is true. Historically the things attributed to homosexuality vary too wildly. The supposed identifiers of homosexuals are disconnected from the actual phenomenon. On one hand you have periods of time when the culture attributes homosexuality to “limp wrists” and “lisps”, other periods attribute it to things like being overly masculine (gym rats or soldiers). Then you have completely different conceptions of homosexuality in linguistically isolated areas like Spain that only sees the “receiver” as homosexual while the penetrator is still considered normal (because who wouldn’t?).

My perspective of the cultural response to homosexuality is it’s basically a witch hunt, which is seriously problematic for governments because it means anyone can be blackmailed with as little as their internet search history; it’s the underlying reason for why homosexuality was legalized, too many politicians were being blackmailed by the Soviet Union.

We’re all bisexual by default, just like we all masturbate. That’s my perspective.

I think people that feel guilt over attraction to members of the same sex are just beating themselves up over nothing, like how some people have been brainwashed to feel shame for masturbating. People in groups do crazy things, mass hysteria isn’t uncommon. Pressure to conform is extremely powerful in large groups when terroristic tactics start being used. Albinos are beaten to death in Africa. People were executed in Europe for having a mole. The Middle East cuts off portions of children’s genitalia. It’s a mad world.

Think about masturbation, because of the stigma and self deception even medical doctors believed it caused diseases because they were basing their ideas on next to no information and plenty of false information. Then someone, Alfred Kinsey, that actually collected impartial data came in and said “everyone masturbates”. He also more or less spelled out that everyone was bisexual.

It’s just a witch hunt.

Bang bang bang…. That’s how they used to cure gay in USSSR 👍

That’s a really great concept ! When looking at the data from studies that focus on these kind of things. Everything is based on social and cultural factors which vary region to region. The definition of what makes someone something is completely established by what others create. In many cases guys that take care of their physical appearance in manner that does not follow the definition of what a true straight man makes someone gay.

In the USA they used to incarcerate (jail or asylum), lobotomize, and castrate gays via court. It wasn’t even that long ago.

Like I mentioned before, the reason the USA ultimately made homosexuality legal is because of the Soviet Union. The Soviet Union created a spy operation that either gathered evidence of government workers or elected officials involved in homosexual acts or used men to seduce them in order to blackmail. It turned out, just about everyone the Soviet Union could want to blackmail engaged in or was willing to engage in homosexual acts. It posed a systemic risk to the US having that many people that had to choose between doing the Soviet Union’s bidding or be thrown in jail, lobotomized, etc. after what they thought was a harmless act of promiscuity.

Post legalization of homosexuality, honeypots evolved to blackmailing pedophiles already in place in key positions or blackmailing run of the mill pedophiles to run for office. If the government finds out you’re blackmailed, you become an asset of the intelligence agencies, you are denied your political role in effect if not appearance, until your usefulness is up and then you are sentenced in a way that doesn’t alert other nations that they’ve been foiled.

Obviously, we can’t legalize pedophilia point blank to reduce this risk. Pedophiles seem to be an extreme minority of the population, so maybe more mass surveillance (which we’re getting whether we want it or not) will alleviate the problem. If we can’t get a handle on it soon though, we’ll see the age of consent reduced as much as we as a country can ethically allow. I don’t feel comfortable with even reducing it to 16 because I’m familiar with the scenario of convincing a young girl she is not old enough to make those kinds of decisions.

Thinking ahead, we also have to consider what the next honeypot will be. Because it might be a waste to lower the age of consent if spies can just move on to the next worst thing. The mind boggles at what that would be. Probably eating babies or something.

Or we could just stop globalism. It’s the people and goods going in and out of the country that present all these risks, and really a risk to world peace since nations don’t bear failed take overs well (Iran for example). Sleeper cells don’t seem to last more than 2 generations at most without contact from the sponsor nation, so without globalism the threat of foreign agents will likely disappear. All these things we don’t like, like mass surveillance and a loss of rights, are attempts to maintain a democratic republic in a globalized world. The problem is they are tools that can be abused and there are plenty of people willing to abuse them. Unless we are willing to give up globalism, we either let our country be taken over by foreign agents or we become an authoritarian state because we built in the framework for one.

It’s looking like we’ll be going authoritarian, which isn’t the best option, but it’s also not the worst. Or maybe globalism will end. I like the idea of buying stuff online from Thailand and going on vacation in Baja California, but it’s not worth all the trouble it’s creates.

The USSR is an example of a nation being taken over by hostile foreign agents, we definitely don’t want that.

Most of the ancient Greeks and Romans were bisexual. Since there was little or no stigma attached to it, they just did as they pleased.

That is probably the natural state of sexuality - with a preference for the opposite sex in most cases.

I am too homophobic to go that way and I really do not feel that I have missed much. With AIDS running rampant in the 80s, I am glad that I missed that scourge.

I think it’s accurate to say that ancient Greeks and Romans encouraged homosexual relationships since it was associated with physical strength, the ability to effectively kill enemies, and soldier camaraderie. Not only was it not associated with stigma, it was encouraged.

The promotion of homosexual relationships is embedded in the core educational text that informed Greek and Roman values, Herodotus’ works and Homer’s Iliad. Every ancient Greek male with an education, at one time, would have memorized the Iliad if I remember right.

The Greeks, the later Macedonian Greeks, and the Romans participated in a cult of masculinity around Achilles, the homosexual super soldier.

Achilles - Wikipedia

HIV is still running rampant and growing, the government and medical community has just stopped taking it seriously because there are prescriptions that make HIV carriers live longer now. It’s all over the USA, Europe, Africa, South America, the Middle East, and SE Asia. I’ve heard estimates that up to 1/3rd of Chinese people are HIV carriers, but it’s hard to know what’s really going on in China.

Hey kid don’t worry about what people think of you. Undo stress for no reason. Trust me a good woman will come your way someday. Could be your finding the women you date in the wrong place and they are just looking for hookups. It’s a new age brother.

As for guys being bi in a sense. I kinda believe that. I’ve been married for quite a few years and have loved women all my life. But I’m not blind I know when a man has a good body. And I’ve sent my wife big cock pics before teasing her. Which she doesn’t appreciate and tells me why do I look. I tell her just because I can appreciate a large cock doesn’t mean I want it. It’s all very sexual. And people should just relax about things.

I think alot of this may be in your head. From what you have outlined, I don’t see how you would be perceived as gay. I personally keep my body hair as I think it’s masculine and part of being a man. My wife loves it too. I do trim my pubes but that’s it. Always some form of facial hair. Big chest and shoulders from working out for years. I dress very well. It’s just my style - wingtips, trousers, dress shirts, suits, vests, sweaters and full length wool coat/hat in winter (even thought we only have a few months of winter in Houston), a nice watch, etc. I like the classic look as it never goes out of style and is masculine. Just look for a woman with high values and to your liking and get that other stuff out of your head. Once you establish the relationship, focus on her needs and be happy. Have you ever had close male friendships? Maybe that would help you overcome some of this. The ultimate model for manliness is Jesus Christ. He was courageous, loved others and was selfless - the Son of God. Our Creator designed us as men to lead, provide and protect.

I’ve gotten the same treatment from people, and I’m a very big masculine dude, I’m kind and soft spoken. I went through about a ten year period in my life where I could bang anything I laid eyes on it seemed and I would flirt with gay guys for the thrill of it. I’ve been 100% heterosexual my entire life. It seemed the less I invested my emotions the more people wanted me. All I’m expressing is my experience. By the time I turned 50 I developed a level of maturity then met my wife. I had a very long run at being single and although many people including my mother at times suspect me to be a closet gay, I found love and contentment. Just be you Man. Good luck.

I found one of the greatest breakthroughs in my life was when: I was able to walk into any space/room etc, with having nothing to prove. I simply walk in and be who I am. And, I cannot be responsible for how others view me, that responsibility is on them!