Considerations on fighting Premature Ejaculation

Very good thread nevod!

I myself go in the third category sometimes. But what I’ve noticed is that for me, the most important factor is relaxation.

I remember, with my ex, in the start when I wasn’t relaxed I would cum quickly. But then, when I got accustomed
to her, more relaxed - I could go for much much longer, sometimes for hours.

I have not had sex for 2 years and I am hoping to start a sexual relationship soon. Thing is whenever I get horny and want to masturbate, my PONR comes straight away. I am hoping that when I start doing it regularly I can condition my unit better. I don’t edge often. But when I do the first few times are quick and I usually have to use porn to keep me motivated, I am under stress and anxiety and this makes it harder for me. But sometimes I have edged for one hour and sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes I have cum just in under a minute and even while flacid!!!

I think that relaxation is actually main factor in fighting PE at all - there’s just many ways to get to it.

Did a 30 min edging session, more focused on fighting head and foreskin oversensitization. What I’ve learned is that mighty reverse kegel is still king of all things. If it’s really realy mighty, even very tight grip with lots of lube wouldn’t produce much sensation. Just don’t pass out - it seems to push blood into head very well too - little blackout and heavy noise in ears appears on about 5th second. It’s better done when you’re quite near - otherwise it’ll destroy erection totally. I hold breath during them - instinctively, probably.

Further from that, holding breath helps. But seems that I’ve not yet mastered it - even in my head, I still have a rather vague figure of how I do them. I straigthen my spine, breath with belly to the max, exhale some air, then hold breath with throat (a very clear sensation in the throat), arch back and put some pressure on belly by that, plus little abs clench. Then, after some hold, I release throat and exhale. Haven’t yet figure what is better though - fast or really slow exhalation.

Maybe my words about miraculous effect were too bright, but it’s not bad. Harder that light reverse kegel, about same efficiency, less affect on erection. Probably just not enough expirience - took me week of everyday 30-min edging to be on short hand with reverses.

And as profilactic measure, to get attention busy, I found ‘sinusoidal’ breath - slowly starting inhalation, then faster, then again slower, hold for very little time, slowly start exhalation, then faster, then slower, then hold again for a little, repeat. It takes lots of attention and isn’t very easy to do, though. Afraid that if one masters it, it wouldn’t be so distracting, and would have less effect.

Well, seems that the simplest way would be a 5-second moderate reverse kegel about every 15 seconds - depends on how well you can sustain erection in every particular case, actually, plus double extreme reverse kegels in case of emergency.

:)

Not to forget everything else of course, just that this seems to be the easiest to use.

Hello there I have been reading this thread and found it very helpful.

When I have sex I last bearly a minute at the most, what would be the best thing for me to do?
It’s ruining my relationship with my girlfriend and I want to sort it out before I lose her.

Thanks

Steve_guk

Invest the time to read our many threads on this topic; we have plenty of guys that have solved that problem. Also read up on edging.

Also, and if you haven’t already: be a master of oral sex!

Not something I’ve suffered with personally. However I was on the anti-depressant Paroxetine for 12 months about a year ago because of work-related stress. I noticed that it became extremely difficult to cum. I would need to fuck for about 40 minutes to cum - and most of the time would I would need to give up; was very frustrating. Anyway, I asked my doctor about this new problem and he said that its a side effect of the anti-depressant - he said that he sometimes prescribes small doses to guys for that exact reason; to prevent premature ejaculation. Its a recognised side-effect see: Paroxetine - Wikipedia

Stick to a low dose though - 5-10mg. I think I was on 30mg. I should warn though, this is a drug I would say you need to go to your doctor for rather than get off the internet. I’ve bought my fair share of prescription drugs off the internet, but I would make sure if you get this one monitored by a medical professional. 30mg got rid of my stress and anxiety, but also dulled the good emotions like love and compassion; and I ended up treating people I cared about like shit. Also I had to gradually come off the drug over 3 months, gradually reducing the dosage, because its quite addictive.

So, although this drug will probably help you loads with premature ejaculation, talk to your doctor about it rather than taking matters into your own hands and stick to a very low dose - or you’ll fuck your head up and won’t be able to cum at all!!

slanker
Well, the beginning of penetration could be a problem for you, especially without condom (with condom, though, it shouldn’t be problematic). You better get used to it - with hand it’s problematic, though at higher arousal level, tight grip and lots of lube, there is some similarity - which can help you control yourself - but you’d better use an artificial vagina - say, FL.

It’s not just about sensation - it’s not that extreme - but the mind which sends you into ultra - sensitive area. You need to have relaxed attitude. For example, yesterday evening, I wanted to edge to porn - note the word “wanted” - then, when I began, I felt that I really want to cum, and thought that I may come too fast. Of course, I got over-sensitized and come. Not that it couldn’t have been avoided, you actually shouldn’t come in such situation, I don’t yet have enough self-discipline. After 5 minutes, I decided to watch another clip, and again - I got close to coming! The girl in the clip was pretty + residual anxiety from quick comming the previous time.

So the main thing is being relaxed. Today morning, I watched the first clip no problem, I was relaxed, and it was “planned”, not “desired”. Then I watched the second one again, and got very close! I was thrown off the relaxation - there was just a moment that turns me on. Two mghty reverse kegels though normalised me easily, and next 10 minutes were normal. Didn’t come at the end.

As such, some notes for actual sex would be:
1) Get used to it somehow.
2) Be really relaxed, not caring much about it.
3) Stay away from turn-off moments and thoughts. Don’t think “Oh, I’m there, the sensation, the sensation! Her boobs are so cute and jumpy!” That focuses you on pleasure, on yourself, and on cumming. It’s an sensory overload. Better use the next approach to your thoughts:
4) Aha, she’s breathing hard, arching her back.. I’ll stay there for 30 seconds and then add that and that, and then also try that.. Aha! More reaction! Then try this also..
5) Be disciplined! That’s I think is the main part - being both relaxed and disciplined. You just know that if you are close to coming, you stop. Regardless of everything. Be rock sure about that, hesitation makes trouble.
steve_guk
That may be the primary consideration for you: If you’re close, you just stop altogether. And you know that before insertion. Don’t come. Better don’t come at all few times, I think. No matter how, really.

The generic advices would be everyday _proper_ kegeling, everyday edging, and PE in the original meaning of this site - it’s quite helpful actually.

nevod: I like your take on my case and it is much appreciated and it helps to ease my fears. Anxiety and not relaxing is the main culprit and I know that once I get into regular sex with the same partner I will be back to my old self. I know that when I practice edging, which is not often, after a few days I can go on for a bit and I can stop myself from cumming using belly breathing and kegels. But thanks again, I will get used to it somehow.

I’m actually using this thread partioally as a reminder for myself, to not forget all the ideas I’ve came up with.

There have been some posts that contain the meassge that less than 101% erection makes you closer to PE. I, during edging, noticed that I tend to mainly stay in the 85-90% region, because any higher, sensation really start to owerwhelm. Have to try the absolute max erection trick, but I wouldn’t count on it as very reliable for myself.

What I want is to stay really hard and not come for 10 minutes of fast nonstop bang - as it’s no problem to start and stop using reverse kegels, but stopping too often is no good. So, I’ve decided to change edging routine to 1 or 2 10-minute sessions of death grip, rapid stroke jerking. I currently can last about 30-40 seconds that way, and then cool down for about 30 seconds. Hoping to add 5-10 seconds every day. Erection level is somewhat more problematic, but I’ll see when I grow up to at least 2 minutes.

Now, 4 ideas to consider:
1) Anus Watch
Anus is a good indicator of BC muscle tightness. If it’s tight, BC is tight. If relaxed, then BC is too. If you want to fight the involuntarily contracting BC, anus is the easier way to look at it.

2) Jerk Exhale
Haven’t tested well yet, but preliminarily, I’d say it’s a good way of non-increasing, or even reducing arousal - exhale in one very fast jerk, it’s not deep, but it’s fast. That way, you bypass it’s effect on arousal, and maybe even reduce it by focusing on particular way of breath.

3) Penis Enlargement
It’s nown that PE is good for EQ, and that may be one of the factors why it can help with fighting premature ejaculation. Other may be that your dick is getting used to long intense, maybe not very stimulating, but still, loads. So, long regular intense sessions should get it more used to whatever may come upon.

4) Empty Yourself!
It’s a good idea to empty both bladder and colon before sex - that way, prostate has less pressure upon it, there’s less tension, and reverse kegels are much easer to perform. Difference is very noticeable, at least for me.

kegeling/reverse kegeling doesn’t really work for me. Over the past few years, I have developed a very strong PC muscle. I can hold the ejaculation when the urges arrive. The problem is that the urges arrive too soon. It is OK if I am masturbating and decide to have a little fun by delaying my orgasm and riding on the edges, but such technique is useless when having sex. I can’t possibly tell my girl to stop every 30 seconds.

I have tried just about everything that is known to improve PE, including kegeling, reverse kegeling, relaxing, breathing technique, etc., and none of it works. The bottom line is that these techniques are capable of stopping ejaculation (in most cases), but not the urges to ejaculate.

Comments?

TheOne
Yes, I’ve noticed the problem myself. For me, the key was a really, really extreme reverse kegel. To such an extent that the dick goes soft - not completely limp, but considerably soft. After that, focus on sex for only very little time, until it begins to harden, then distract away, and regularly reverse kegel without stopping. I’d also recommend to use a position with little body contact.

By the way, I’ve noticed a thing that if you stop ejaculation by not very strong normal kegel, while stopping, or even outside the pussy, the urge subsides and doesn’t come for a long time. While stopping ejaculation by strong kegel, has nearly opposite effect - urge is very strong - guess that’s due to pressure of BC muscle upon prostate.

Does practicing these techniques eventually help in delaying the time it takes to reach the PONR (point of no return)?

Great information! Definitely something I’m gonna be trying out. One question though: What are reverse kegels? How do you perform them?

This is definitely a problem we all gotta figure out :) . TheOne you hit it on the button when you said that it might delay ejaculation but does nothing to help the urge to ejaculate. I couldn’t tell my girl to stop and start every 30 sec. either. I think I will be purchasing a fleshlight and testing that out.