Considerations on fighting Premature Ejaculation

darkboob
The urge is more to psychology I think. Though physyology also plays, of course, but it’s not the main cause. And as for telling your birl to stop - I think you have to. Not to say, but just to be in control. Stop her when you need.

Well, I did have this problem, when having sex w\o condoms.
I overcame it in a somewhat contradictory way - I’ve strted masturbating 5-6 times a day, and masturbating quickly, though without imagining sex, so that I had as little semen inside as possible. About 4 days into such a cumming, I’ve had a sex with my gf. Logically, as I had little semen, there was low physyological pressure of release, and also - no psychological pressure - I knew I’m actually exhausted. Also, I didn’t ejaculate during sex - just 30 minutes of thrusting, and go to sleep.

After about 4-5 such ‘sessions’, I’ve had no need to masturbate that often, and I still didn’t feel the urge. If I would slap my balls too hard, I’d feel that I’m approaching PONR, but I could just go slower, use some of techniques described here, and go on.

Some update, at last.
With more or less success, I’ve been able to more or less overcome my problem. I don’t have enough control, I can’t stay well during high-speed moments, but with not-so-fast going, I can last really long. Depends though on how much time has passed since last ejaculation, if it’s less than 24 hours - then I can last just as long as I want. I think though most of these problems come out of my not-so-high consistency and from that I just don’t remember all the advices..

Some more insight on points I’ve already made:
Anus Watch
This is one of the most important aspects of delaying PONR - not just edging, but actual delay of the first PONR. Anal sphincter is connected to the PC muscle, which surrounds prostate. If it clenches, prostate gets squeezed, and you want to cum. Keep it relaxed.
Actually, I think that this: A fast solution for Premature Ejaculation. thread proposes pretty much the same thing. One point to be noted is "pelvic floor disfunction" and "can’t pee when there are other guys". Peeing easily is a sure check to relaxed anus. When you want to pee, go to WC, and watch the state of your anus. If it’s relaxed, you should be able to pee immediately, without that damned pause and stepping from one foot to another.

Reverse Kegels should allow immediate piss too, but seems that I do them wrong. However, if I’m already peeing, RK does accelerate the flow, just as it should. So I guess that’s also a more proper way to perform them - watch your anus, relax it, then RK. (As a note - when releasing RK, a contraction of BC, PC and anus is quite probable. To avoid it, release while exhaling, plus you’ll have to experiment and find out how fast do you have to release it. I, for example, has to release it quickly, but without a jerk - just a gradual fast relaxation).
I’ve been watching my anus only while driving, and I rarely drive more than 1 hour a day, but it still had significant effect, when I was doing it. I have now restarted it.

A simple exercise:
Sit naked on a chair, ~60 deg angle between legs, buttocks pulled apart - so your anus actually should touch the chair, if it’s well relaxed. Stand up - your feet should be under your shoulders roughly - and watch anus. Usually it contracts somewhat during standing up, so relax it. Sit down and relax again. That’ll give you an idea on how to watch it. For me, it’s easiest to watch and relax when I’m standing, for others it may be the other way.

Of course, a very important aspect of anus watch is having emty colon and bladder. Actually, holding back is what causes spasm in the pelvic muscles, so the less you hold back - the better.

Some more psychological tricks
The well-known ones are slow breathing, deep breathing with very fast exhalation (that is though a specific thing, which I use before RK), counting, 9-1 stroke method(count 9 shallow strokes for 1 deep, proportion may vary). Also clenching your teeth and holding tip of your tongue against the palate works. And these methods can easily be combined. Breath deeply, count the strokes in cycles (cycles of 20 to 40 seems to work best for me), you may vary technique slightly after each cycle, or may not, clench teeth hard, and slide your tongue against palate - the last moment works surprisingly well for me. If you’re getting too excited anyway, just don’t look at your girl, look somewhere else, but look! Closing eyes may lead you to PONR quite fast. Look at the ceiling, for example. :)

Also, music works great! If it has words, and is not very loud, you can concentrate on trying to hear the words. A very efficient thing.

Thrusting with hands
When you trust with your hips, your pelvic floor tightens. You can try to and thrust not with hips, but with muscles placed as far away from pelvis as possible. E.g if you’re standing, thrust with your whole legs (sorry, I don’t have a better idea how to explain that), if it’s missionary - thrust with your whole body, using only your arms to move. It’s not a easy task and you can’t thrust as fast, but keeps you away from PONR.

Desensitization
It is stated that some men just have too sensitive heads. How to train your head? There’s been a couple proposals from some medical organisations, but they have seemingly disappeared. In this: Who here has a technique to last longer when sex gets really HOT?!!! thread I’ve found a idea not to wear underwear, and let the dick rub against jeans. The guy has improved his stamina that way. I’ve tried it, and, as I’m uncut, I’ve found that for me, having underwear is actually better - it keeps foreskin from covering glans, while head gets rubbed. Now, I’m considering tiying the dick with exposed head to the leg by a cloth strip, which would keep both dick and foreskin in place. I’ll report on that.

Plus, I’ve ordered an STU Fleshlight, read about some mods to it, and considering using it to teach myself on lasting longer at high speed. Though still, one of main problems of high speed is balls slapping, and the only idea I have is to thrust so quickly it would cause mild pain in the balls, not stimulation.

head desens

This was an interesting read. I have the opposite problem, but I have noticed my ‘trigger’ seems to happen from my balls slapping too. Interesting. Also, taking the advice from this thread but applying it in the opposite way could prove to be beneficial for the retarded ejaculators

Update:
Had couple of 15 min edging sessions today, first one without shooting.
Looks that there are three things that turn me on:
1) Balls slap.
2) Head ridge is sensitive to high sliding pressure - can’t probably be expirienced in real life, but still annoying.
3) When a girl in porn cums. - a psychological factor clearly, I’ve never made my girl cum, so it would be overly exciting for me. Though she was once quite close, and I had attitude of “aha, interesting, what else can I do to bring her closer?”

The first session was focused on fighting with #3, and I’d say I was succesful - just repeated “hell, it’s not real”, along with some other listed tricks. Survived it twice.
On the second, I’ve remembered about #1 and #2, and decided to fight all points together. Haven’t found a really working way, had to stop, relax, then continue for 3 times, after that though, I was relatively stable. Probably, I’ve desensitized myself by that moment. But when #3 came, I again was quickly approaching PONR, and decided to shoot. Don’t yet see a way how to counter sensation without slowdown, maybe only more desensitization.. It’s really hard to watch your breath, sway head around, blink and think silly things while maintaining strong grip and long stroke - not something I’m used to.

One of the problems is that I’m somewhat lazy to edge - last session was 4 days ago. It’s not much of a pleasure to me, more like work. I’m hoping though that it will be less of an issue when fleshlight arrives - at least I wouldn’t have to watch after how well I grip the cock.

I’ve decided to pull my balls somewhat further, and has bouglt an head wrap - same as wrist wrap, essentially. It’s one piece though and not adjustable. So I’ve have to twist it into folded figure-of-8, to make it tight enough, and I’ve placed cock between two layers of wrap. That way, it holds foreskin in place, with complete efficiency, though there’s not much rubbing action, as the whole cock is held and doesn’t move much. Probably, using medical tape and free-swinging cock would be better.

Still, I seem to have decreased head sensitivity somewhat just after 1.5 days. Have to test it with masturbation though. Balls do hang lower, and maybe - just maybe! - their sensitivity will decrease as well. That would pretty much leave only the emotional aspect in question, as I’ve remembered the method which really works, if not very convenient to do - nearing PONR, grab balls and pull until there’s noticeable pain. Works physically, and emotionally, as it’s not so easy to do while humping. But obviously, you lose the rythm in pretty much any position, and that’s not good.

Nevod, as someone who has been suffering from premature ejaculation since forever, I firmly believe that it’s caused - in my case at least - by involuntary BC contractions you’ve mentioned too. I started a thread about that some 2,5 years ago, but it died without any conclusion and I still have no idea what causes these contractions or how to fight them. I’d love it if you read that thread and let me know your thoughts:

Yet another premature ejaculation thread

biafra
I agree with you upon the cause of your PE. Interestingly, while I’d always clench my PC muscle during masturbation and would always come in 2-3 minutes, I haven’t got the involuntary contraction.

I have an idea on un-wiring the link between your PC (afaik, it’s PC which surrounds the prostate and which contractions cause ejaculation, BC just fires simultaneously, but is not the cause of PE, or just E for that matter). Judging from where you live, I guess you’re uncut, so it’s no wonder you have sensitive glans. Try to make some ‘device’, like one I’ve made, which would keep your foreskin retracted all day. That way, your glans will rub regularly against underwear, causing stimulation. Your participation should be reverse kegeling and general pelvic relaxation during all the day - you said you can counter the contractions by reverse kegeling. Of course, probably, you won’t be able to counter all the contractions, but still try.
Plus, I guess, you should mix it with avoiding glans contact during edging for some serious time - say, a month. After that month, you may try the ticktickticker’s advice on slowly adding glans stimulation to edging.