Yet another premature ejaculation thread

OK, I know this topic has been talked over many, many times but I’ll try some new approach to the problem and would like you guys to give me your thoughts. I don’t have permissions to post in Male’s Sexual Health Forum, so I’m writing here - maybe some mod will move the thread if he/she finds it worth it.

First of all, I believe most of the popular methods of dealing with premature ejaculation that have been discussed here are ineffective so often because they’re based on the wrong assumption. They all deal with holding off ejaculation when you already feel it coming and “moving on the edge” while the point is not to get on the edge that fast in the first place.

The widespread opinion is that premature ejaculation is mostly psychologically caused and can be dealt with by doing mental exercises. Personally, I don’t believe that. Sure, your psyche and general attitude have some influence on the time in which you come, but I wouldn’t overestimate it. I don’t think it’s the key factor in most cases.

Practicing mental exercises may be helpful to some small extent but hey - you can even stop your heart action with power of your will if you’ve been meditating sitting in lotos on a nail bed for long enough ;) That doesn’t really prove anything.

I believe the reasons for premature ejaculation are purely physical. Here’s the thing I’ve noticed:

If I put my fingers where the BC muscle is located (between my scrotum and anus) and touch/rub my glans or some areas of my foreskin I can clearly feel the BC contracting involuntarily. These are not like full contractions but strong enough to feel them under fingers. I even experience that when touching totally flaccid dick in a totally non-sexual way.

We all know that kegeling during intercourse makes you cum faster. Now, these contractions are like kegeling 5 or more times faster than you possibly could voluntarily! I believe that’s the key factor causing premature ejaculation, at least in my case. I ejaculate pretty fast even when masturbating so this can’t be related to anxiety, it has to be physical. I did an “experiment” once and masturbated without touching the glans - just my shaft, so there were no these involuntary contractions - it took me about 2,5 hours to come!

Now, off to the conclusions! Well, sadly I don’t have any. I just have a bunch of questions I ask myself, like: what’s causing that involuntary BC throbbing? Is it oversensitivity of the glans or is it the nervous system hardwired in some fucked-up way? Are you born with it or do you train your body to react that way with excessive masturbation? If it’s the latter, then the most important question is: is there any way to untrain it? And how?
I don’t know the answers but would love to read your opinions.

Or maybe these involuntary BC contractions are perfectly normal and non-premature ejaculators experience them too? I don’t think I’ll have anyone’s dick around to check that anytime soon, so I’d like to ask you guys: do you also experience this? Are you premature ejaculators?

Give me your thoughts.

I agree with you, but I don’t have time to write now. I’ll explain my thoughts later.

I’m waiting, EJ. Nobody else wants to share his thoughts? Come on guys, I’d really like to know whether that BC throbbing is a universal thing and whether it contributes to premature ejaculation.

I know that the involuntary contraction is my problem for sure. From so much masterbation I’ve trained myself in a way to blow my load way too fast…when masterbating that is what you want, but when having sex its the opposite. My PC just involuntarily contracts at any stimulation to my penis…or sometimes just thinking about sex. If we could find a way to stop that involuntary contraction I have a feeling that we could stop our problems with PE.

Thanks for posting, Themighty5. So we both agree these contractions make us come faster, probably due to constant stimulation of the prostate.

Holding a kegel or reverse kegel really, really hard and thus forcing the BC to stay still while stimulating the penis seems to be proving that. The pleasurable sensations suddenly become less overwhelming and the urge to ejaculate soon suddenly disappears, especially with reverse kegel.

And I’m not talking about kegeling when you feel an orgasm beginning, I’m talking about kegeling during normal stimulation.

This is not a solution however, because you obviously can’t hold a reverse kegel through entire intercourse. It just seems to be proving that the BC contracting involuntarily causes PE.

I’d like some of non-premature ejaculators here help us out and write whether they too experience BC contractions during stimulation or not, so we can be 100% sure.

If these contractions are in fact causing PE (and everything seems to be indicating that), we wanna know what causes them and how to prevent them. I have some theories on that too, but I have to verbalize them in my crappy English first, so I’ll post later.

i’ve noticed that if I really concentrate on my breathing and not contracting my PC I can last a little longer in intercourse….its extemely difficult to do though, and still nowhere even remotely close to how long i’d like to be able to last

I tried some BC exercises which help but I can’t do it daily basis ,
Other think I tried Chi Kong method which helped more and even more then BC exercise ,

I think if you have lot of time then you should try doing Chi Kong for months and it will help .

But I switched again to delay spray because I can’t have time to do daily exercises
Hay guys DOES the delay spray Harms .

Biafra - I think you are wrong. The most fun part in sex is specifically to be at the edge and not fall off. That is the highest point you can reach and if you are good at it you can even learn to orgasm without ejaculation. There are threads about that, and books and so on. For a premature ejaculator it is certainly a good starting point but the goal - at least for me- should be to enjoy the highest pleasure for as long as possible.

What you need, biafra, is training, you already found the way. Masturbate without touching your gland, then include the gland just for a second and continue on the shaft. If you can handle one sec of direct gland stimulation try two seconds, then three then longer. Take your time, just with pe. It may take months or years but I swear you will master it.

Biafra,

I will post my thoughts soon. My time at the computer has been very limited lately. I do have some thoughts I’d like to share!

I have the exact problem man. I didn’t at first, even when masturbating and having sex. But a few years back when I was around oh 20 or so, I discovered if I kegeled while masturbating, I came faster. Which was fine and dandy because I was mixing it up with getting laid quite often, so there was no problem. But then I had a dry spell where I didn’t have a constant girlfriend just some one night stands here and there, for about a year and a half. Well the masturbating and kegeling was the same amount, but no mixing in of regular intercourse as much. Then when I got with a constant girlfriend again, I realized that I had PE. I couldn’t figure it out.

Well long story short, I broke up with her years later, found this site, and while jelqing realized everytime I got near the glan and approached it I would involuntarily contract the BC muscle. I haven’t been able to counteract it yet or undo it. I’ve tried a reverse kegel everytime my glan was touched but the contraction is too strong. The one thing I did figure out while getting a BJ once is that if I sit down on a chair but bend foward as much as possible (I just rubbed the girl’s ass so she wasn’t the wiser) I lasted pretty frickin long, I figured it was because of that position the nerves or whatever was down there couldn’t be stimulated. Or however it works.

Thanks for posting, deeznuts.

From what you write, it seems that these involuntary contractions are in fact trained reaction and we were not born with it. And if it’s trained, there’s a chance it can be untrained as well. The question is: how?

I know shit about nervous system and have no idea how that connection between glans and BC works, but I imagine it being like a shortcut path through the grass. The more often you use it, the broader it becomes. And the broader it becomes, the more often you use it. In other words - when letting our BC contracting in response to stimulation, we’re training it to respond the same way even more.

I think that MAYBE if we stopped completely using that “path”, avoided all stimulation that causes these contractions (I.e. Masturbating without touching the glans), maybe that path would “fade” with time. But that’s just my theory, the connection may as well stay there forever. And I don’t know how long would that take. Months? Years? Would that require to give up all sex as well?
Would anybody give up sex for such a long time not being sure it will change anything at all? I don’t think so.

Anyway, while not giving up sex 2-3 times a week, I’m going to change my masturbating habits from now on. I’m gonna masturbate without touching the glans and without getting close to the edge for as long as possible. I don’t know if it will work, but I have to start doing SOMETHING.

Tick: I agree it’s fun to be at the edge. But not when you’re on the edge from the first or second thurst. That’s a pathology.

I had learned how to kegel long before I heard what kegel was. I had learned edging long before I heard about that too. I even learned to withdraw from ejaculation by holding a kegel without reading any tantra books. I learned all that intuitively, because I had to. Otherwise I would cum in a minute even while masturbating. So yeah, I have relatively good control on being on the edge. But believe me, being on the edge ALL THE TIME in no fun at all, it spoils all the pleasure. That’s why I want to learn not to get on the edge that fast, and that’s why I don’t believe exercises like edging will help me much. Sure, they learn you to control yourself while you’re on the edge, but at the same time they train you to get on that edge fast. I want to avoid that.

I have suffered bad PE over the years. I too noticed that the more I kegelled the quicker I’d cum.
I recently tried using Paxil to delay orgasm and it worked a treat. I started having 2 hour sex sessions!
I did notice that I did not seem to kegel at all and that the BC felt very relaxed the whole time.
I’m not sure exactly how it works but it does and it also seems to fit your theory.
If you’re suffering from Prem Ejac I strongly recommend Paxil. You may want to read my thread first where several of us have been describing our experiences with using Paxil to delay orgasm.
I’ve cured my premature ejaculation

I recently weaned off the Paxil and the prem ejac came straight back, so looks like I’ll be going back on the Paxil again v.soon.

I am a premature ejaculate and I just insert my penis again after I go off the first time.