Do I have anorgasmia?

Wow man, thank god I did not continue masturbating that way. I discovered the method in school, because I could basically put pressure on the base of my penis by rubbing it against the desk. It was a great feeling.

Well Adun, it sounds like there is hope. How is it going so far?

Exactly what I should have avoided! It’s good you didn’t continue with that. For a long time, if I wasn’t using the bed for pressure, I would just have a really firm grip at the base and just apply pressure. The previous post stated that things are going much better. It was really odd re-reading the post and the state I was in 1.5 years ago. I can remember the desperation as I typed those words.

I find it funny that I said I wouldn’t try the no sex thing for a month. At the end of that summer, we were apart for 3 weeks. In the end, I think those days were crucial for mental well-being (no pressure involved) as well as de-conditioning.

It can still be difficult to get off but there’s a world of difference. The next step is mastering multiple sessions. At my current rate, I need to wait maybe 2 hours before I can actually orgasm again, yet I get hard after 30 minutes and start up only to realize 20min later that it isn’t going to happen. I think the holy grail would be a 5min quickie.

Patience was the key, and one huge advancement was the purchase of a fleshlight. It made sure I didn’t overdo it with the pressure anymore. Porn was reintroduced about 6 months ago to watch with my girl. That made for a whole year clean. I may need to go back to swearing it off (unless she wants to watch too).

I dig up this thread to add some closure, and with any luck help the next guy who suffers from this sort of thing.

The funniest thing about all of this is the reversal of stereotypes. My girlfriend would make jokes about how it could always be the other way around, taking only a minute. Men are expected to be able to come on command but this isn’t the case with me. There have been 3 times where I focussed too much and came prematurely. My girlfriend actually laughed and gave me a big hug, even though I was embarassed as hell. A couple nights ago, she gave an extra squeeze (she listened to me about kegels) as I was pulling out to change positions, causing me to come. She had outright told me that she likes it when it feels so good for me I can’t control it. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to overcome this (as sappy as that sounds).

Low on dopamine? This would surprise me as all the drugs raging on dopamine (amphetamines come to mind and GHB) make it hard to impossible to orgasm.

Interesting information in this thread for I am a "bedhumper" myself but gladly I have the problem of anorgasmia only when I take (too much) drugs and never sober. That TMS can lead to erection problems at older age worries me though, but by now I had gladly nothing what a Cialis couldnt fix nicely. And I am a strong smoker, I better start stopping this anyways.

Good progress, adun. Both anorgasmia (no orgasm from sex) and delayed orgasm (takes too long to get there) are difficult to treat. Not enough is known about the chemical and nerve-connection steps that are required for either.

Some of this, at least, is psychological. The balance has to do with our individual sexual wiring.

Complete anorgasmia would be horrible, but delayed orgasm is something what can be handled with the right partner. I need to take control and she has to hold tight - what she willingly does for she got already royally off and not only once.
And the (delayed) orgasm is often explosive - someday I will get a stroke whilst coming - what a great way to die this would be!

To tell the truth: This is in my opinion much preferable over premature ejaculation. A long ride can be big fun without getting off. One has just to realize when it will not work and then to stop befor it gets awkward. Usually a little later it works quick - at least for me.

But anyways: Isnt here the long searched solution for PE? No antidepressiva with bad sideeffects, no disgusting having to think about gore or ones stepmother naked (outch!). Just some enjoyable mattress humping? I like it.

Adun111 -

First of course identify any medications and/or supplements you’re taking. Also be reassured you don’t have anorgasmia if you CAN cum with some sort of manipulation - you do however have “retarded ejaculation” (which reflects nothing about your IQ!). As you were apparently a “bed-humper,” you very likely do have TMS, which fortunately is NOT a terminal condition and can be overcome. A good sex therapist (there are some bonafide and capable ones out there) can help you. You might also want to check with your doc about trying some “bupropion,” which is the generic name for Wellbutrin (and/or Zyban) - this raises serum/blood dopamine levels, and dopamine is integral to the orgasm/ejaculation process. Some guys on antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, Paxil, etc., have found less retarded ejaculation when they take Bupropion before sex. I have the feeling that Yohimbe is possibly a placebo, and it can apparently have some adverse effects on some people’s health. Meanwhile try to get in a positive frame of mind. You’re obviously doing something right in pleasing your partner, so the work you need to do is on yourself, and this CAN be done (whereas the guys who are trying to change their partners are taking on a futile task)! Good luck.

- Rip

Hell! I didn’t read all the posts on this thread. Sounds like you made it past this crap just fine, adun111. Good job! Mental attitude is probably the key to overcoming just about everything.

- Rip