Losing Erection just before sex - porn and masturbation problem?

Hello!
So yesterday I met a girl, we had a great time together, had some drinks (maybe too much) and around 6 am we headed to my place. I was rock hard just from one her kiss, and was rock hard while we were just holding hands, sitting in the taxi on our way home. But as soon as we got to the business, I realized that I’m not that hard anymore. And it was getting worse with each minute, and we barely even finished taking our clothes off. I tried to buy some time with my tongue, but it didn’t help at all. She was nice enough with that, and we just rolled to sleep. I recall having strong erection while sleeping somehow, but next day I didn’t even try to approach another round, being too afraid of failing again. So we both left each other with nothing but small foreplay.

I guess no need to say that it ruined my confidence to the ground, and I have no idea what happened, and if it can happen again. So that’s why I’m here and looking for advice from fellow men who maybe had similar troubles.

A bit of info for clarity:
I’m 30, and last 3 years due to poor life choice I didn’t had sex at all, only porn and masturbation. Was slightly overweight, very low physical activity, and having drinks in various bars regularly. However in last 4-5 months I was working hard on losing weight, managing my nutrition, and having at least some kind of work out, if I couldn’t get to the gym for some reason. Now you can say that I have some fat only if you see me naked - a bit of dad bods, and some fat on chests, but nothing even close to what it have been before. Porn addiction and regular masturbation (sometimes up to 3 times a day with occasional and rare day offs) are still here though. Having strong erection each time, even stronger after PE.

Can it be that I just forgot how it is like to be with a woman? That my mind got too overwhelmed with porn, and unit got too used to my hand? And if so, how can I climb out of this?
It’s like a wicked circle now - I need to have sex with women to not get anxious anymore, but how can I do this, if my unit just.. Won’t work?

I realize, that it’s probably wrong section for this thread, and hopefully it will be moved to Men’s Sexual Health. Also, I tried to make it easily readable, but sorry in advance if it’s not, thanks for attention.

ditch porn that’s all I can say. I had terrible ED from porn early last year and couldn’t perform for my wife at all, and she’s hot as fuck a tiny little body and a heavy multiple cummer. I was a wet noodle over her. Had to fuck with a limp or semi to just get it in, and as soon as I got hard, I’d blow. As soon as something becomes almost too “porn-like” I can’t get hard. Last time I had the chance to do my wife in the ass she was ready, like ready-like-Freddy ready, and I couldn’t get hard, too “excited” and I was, but it was anxiety. But last year when I couldn’t get hard alone with no porn or anything on at all, and then I couldn’t make myself cum either, but I could in seconds as soon as I got on a computer again???? That was the death knell. Porn=erection and cumming. No porn=no erection and no cumming.

I’ve been off porn for a little over a year now. Ditch it all. Start trying to love yourself and your cock again. Really get deeply in love with your genitals. Treat them like gems. Work on self pleasure, all kinds of pleasure and stimulation. If you grew up on porn this will be hard. Just keep trying. You are healthy, you have major boners out of control naturally. Porn=sex for you because too much porn for too long and nothing else hurts your brain, so your problem is only mental. Stay off porn 100% and stop masturbating if you have these options for sex right now. Save it for her only, why not?! Sounds great to me! Don’t think its alright to see porn on off days apart from her, either. Don’t do that. If you jerk off, try something new, completely different, no porn.

You are right there man, just go with the flow and fuck like crazy! You can do this :)

It can be due to many things.

It can be due to stress:
You are having a rough time at work, trying to open other people’s eyes and in turn they try to open up your arse.

It can be due to diet:
You may be eating lots of foods that contain estrogen in one form or another. You may be drinking a little too much, which also affects your EQ.

It can be pretty much anything, but throwing porn in the mix things get a lot clearer. You see porn is a nice stimulus. You see lots of sexy chicks with all qualities you desire, available right there at the ease of your fingertips. What is not specified is that it comes at the price you are paying for right now - ED.

I am currently in a such rut, where I had stopped watching and listening to porn for a month around christmas and my erections were fine for the most part, but got back into it and boom - in the same boat as you. I tried pumping with my flaccid on as it usually gets erect quite quickly when I start pumping, but no - it stays limp this time. Two minutes later I am reading a sexy story/erotica on the internet and just like that I’m 60-70% erect. That’s what porn does for you.

Bear in mind that just like you I haven’t had sex for years and haven’t even touched a woman sexually for just as long, so pretty much the same case. Best bet in my opinion will be to stay away from visual and audio porn, and only use sex stories if it is strictly necessary (getting hard for pumping or other exercise).

Okay, your most important problems according to my experience as chronic hardcore pmv masturbator and viewer who is not even seeking the cure as my EQ is awesome are:

1. Too much semen loss, I watch those crazy videos hours at a time but without ejaculating as no pressure is released out only up to the crown and down to the navel my unit simply has more energy to make it get hard, not only is retaining semen crucial to EQ it is also crucial for health and mood. Taoists say that human gland system consisting of 7 glands is filled with nutrients and available energy from bottom up, therefore testes have highest priority, then adrenals.

From evolutionary standpoint this only makes sense as all that is important to nature is continuation of the species, testes are crucial for this and adrenals are next as without adrenal hormones you couldn’t even find a partner, you’d be dead.

If you constantly deprive your most important glands as a male, your whole body will suffer as all the nutrients are allocated to testes again and again only to be waisted.
In nutrition deprived body, more energy is focused on keeping you alive than allowing you to starve yourself again.

Imagine the potential of all those sperm cells, just one can make a whole new life and you shoot millions every day, it has to take it’s toll.

2. No boundaries between sex and PMO, you haven’t put those two experiences apart in your brain.
You expect same visual stimulation you always get and fantasizing that you are there doing that.
Sex doesn’t work like that, fantasy during sex or distracting yourself from the experience otherwise is downright insulting to God’s child who is opening to you in every possible way.
Not only is it insulting, you are trying to get same kind of stimulation from a living being which can’t compete with hardcore porn if you only use your mind and eyes.
This living being has much more to offer however if you are present there, not in your fantasies of what sex should be.

You have to fine tune your other senses and emotions to like actual sex not that fake stuff.
Feel her warmth, breath, heartbeat, anticipation, trust, appreciation it is such a turn on you can’t imagine just focus on that.
You are basically becoming one, isn’t that cool, so surrender unconditionally to her as if she is a part of yourself, as in those moments she actually will be.

I will send you the link to multi orgasmic man book by Mantak Chia, it is such an eye opener.

After you read of consequences and benefits of losing/ retaining semen, and actually do it for just ten days you will have all the proof you need that retention is a must if you don’t want to miserable impotent and have a higher death rate than those without such severe habit.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t play with yourself, it is actually very important to do so as the penis has acupuncture points to all the organs in the body and you stimulate them, not only that but stagnant physical energy is not so useful if it is not circulated throughout the body.

Modern medicine is still far from catching up with eastern sexology and in last 20 years or so almost all theories have been proven correct.

For God’s sake, western medicine was debating whether females have the g spot in this century and whether or not females can orgasm in the 20th.

To tighten the vagina after childbirth western medicine used to operate on women instead of recommending kegels.

Also acupuncture is based on taoist map of body reflexology and it works.

This book is life changing if you haven’t learned anything about: sex, health, life, spirituality, God…

God is not abstract, it is a living being holding universe in existence as we speak, and we all know that deep down, if energies touch your pineal, whether during sex or for whatever reason you simply know and from the bottom of your heart call God in gratitude for amazing experience of his grace that you are having.

Just read the damned book if you want to change those annoying side effects of depletion and depletion itself while also energising the body while you do your daily 1 hour no cum energy cultivation which also cures premature ejaculation.

Those 5 seconds of genital orgasm is just a pure waste of energy and nutrition when whole body non ejaculatory orgasms are much better feeling, longer lasting and actually benefiting you health and EQ and everything.

Yeah, guys, it could be all those things, or Woody could have just been drunk and tired.

Personally, I would lay off the porn and see her again when not drunk or tired

My take: you are overthinking this and just fine. Many guys have trouble fucking with too many drinks. If you are hard while sleeping, don’t worry about it. Take a viagra for confidence next time. Also, don’t negate the fact that your dick is smart and if this girl is no good for you, (i.e. STD, emotional issues, etc.) your dick might be telling you..skip this one, she’s no good. Your body knows.

Hey man a lot of this sounds like it is in your head. Cutting back or out all together porn is good. Just like reducing masturbation to cumming.

I would say in the mean time taking a booster like HornyGoatWeed and Maca may help overcome the side effects while working on your mental side.

Just getting back in the saddle can be hard. Even after a few months or weeks. You got this my guy. Best of luck.

Slán