My wife blames me for not making her cum

thank you

Yes women are really hurt about their sexuality, right! Guys are allowed, just perform on command and all will be good!

I’m with oldergent, tired of the no sex unless we make the effort, then you get the bare minimum, no wonder so many of us have psychological ED. I can wake up in the middle of the night with a raging hard-on, but when it comes to sex with the wife, "same exact thing again and again", nothing, I wonder why! We do actually need some form of sexual desire from the female put forth too, not just yoi initiate and I’ll lay here, WTH!

Well. I’m asking this because I’ve been there.

There was a time my wife was really upset with me. Out of nothing she would burst and blame me for everything. I didn’t undestand why, cause it was “unexplainable”. She was talking about hate and how miserable she felt by my side and really painful things.

After some time, I mean a lot of time, I happened to knew she was aware I was talking with another girl. It was just that, talking, we never got to an affair or something like that, but my wife secretely knew I was having advances with this other woman.

How I found out? The other girl told me!!! My wife called her once and told her to mind her own bussiness and leave me alone.

So, by what you are saying, probably she’s aware of you being with oher girls and the way to express her emotions is by doing what she’s doing. I understood I was hurting her ego, she felt as if she wasn’t enough, she felt replaced and all those feelings we men would also have if we knew our wifes were having contact with someone else.

They just won’t let you know, probably out of pride or I don’t know why, but they won’t tell you.

Don’t assume…

The behaviour she is exhibiting is directly antagonistic and devaluing, and if the situation used to be different, there may have been a trigger at some point to change things.

Communication is key. If that doesn’t work then dump her. 55 yo man wisdom. When I made my wife squirt she apologise for

Pissing on me. She didn’t understand her body. Take a good look at your relationship.

I already talked with her about the manhood and the pursue of other women, she understood and accepted the fact that i have urges nature putted in me.
Now maybe it is a bit soon to live my life like if it was ok for her.

Maybe you are all right, i will look up to theses things, focus more on my path than on the complexity of a mind that i dont understand.
I will let her live her life without pushing my libido thru her and maybe thing are gonna go my way.

(Sorry for the english)

If she is not interested tell her you are polygamous and will sleep with others.

There is a wide spectrum of sexuality, sensuality and ability to orgasm. Little story for you, my wife is like your wife, on a scale of 1 to 10 for orgasm she is a 1. One is bad, 10 being great. Now the story, I worked with a woman 40 years ago who told me she could orgasm from just kissing, no touching of erogenous zones. If her partner did all the usual touching, sucking and fucking she would pass out from very intense orgasms. That’s when I learned the term the little death. If I had a time machine I would go back and not marry my wife and would date that other woman. Think about your future.

She is okay with that

Indeed, but now i am too invested and i made a lot of progress in her sexuality actually.
Maybe it is possible to discover the depths of sex with her and make her a great orgasmer.

Even if I only have the little information from the thread here: This relationship sounds toxic to me. Think carefully about whether you want to spend your whole life like this.

Even if your partner says she has no problem with polygamy, that doesn’t mean it’s really the case. Maybe she wants to get revenge with her accusations.
Could there be a connection?

Jesus fucking Christ she’s only 23?!

Female sex coaches would say for sure that this woman is not owing her own sexuality, and definitely not invested in her own orgasm. Your girlfriend is not masturbating and is not making herself cum, I bet she doesn’t. The most orgasmic women out there do themselves, they learn their bodies, in and out, and know exactly what makes them get off the hardest, the most often, over and over. Yes I made my wife cum a few times the first time we had sex; we were both virgins, she was 23 at the time too. But she had never had an orgasm before she was with me, she’d touch herself, but didn’t get it at all. After her first O with me, she spent days alone just making herself cum over and over and over and over, really giving into it, pushing herself to the limit, trying all kinds of things, she was in heaven. Then we got together again and OMG she was an orgasm machine. Why? Because she learned who she was, became comfortable with herself in ways she never was before, and owned her sexuality like she meant it. Ever since (its been 25 years we’ve been together) she has been extremely multiorgasmic, I make her cum from doing almost anything because she figured herself out long ago. It wasn’t me figuring her out, it was HER figuring HER out.

Dude your girlfriend has her whole life ahead of her to be acting so damn immature and selfish. If she doesn’t want to be orgasmic she won’t be and making you do all of it for her is certainly a woman not invested in her own pleasure, at all. At. All.

If memory serves me, you guys have been having issues related to sex and your relationship in general for years.

I definitely second the advice to seek marriage counseling and sex therapy so that you can explore all of your issues, including but not limited to intimacy and sex.

I think this is a complex issue beyond your and her ability alone to adequately communicate because neither what you’ve described nor what you say she said really makes the most sense.

Another thing: if you have to pull out to prevent pregnancy that is a really BAD way to prevent pregnancy because your precum also contains sperm, so you can pull out and STILL get her pregnant.

Sex should not be limited by one orgasm for either one of you.

Wear a condom then you can come in her and it will delay your ejaculation a little bit.

so i didn’t read the whole thread carefully, so apologies if off base for this topic, but wanted to share my experience. I was married 24 years to a cold woman and she provided sex to me 2x per week to fulfill her obligation. Long story short, she was gay. I found out about her relationship and it’s like all the dots over 24 years got connected and I saw the picture. Fast forward, met a new beautiful, very sexy femimine girl. Sex was nuts in the beginning and then suddenly became restrictive (can’t do this can’t do that and no foreplay). It was so bad I became psychologically depedent on PDE-5 inhibitors. I fucking tried everything to restore the sex to the first few months of our relationship. It seemed the frustrations of life just got in the way, I don’t know. She wouldn’t open up and it started to feel like my first marriage. The obligation sex to get off the radar but clearly no real attraction and no foreplay. She denied everything and said she loved me etc. By chance one night for dinner we walked past a strip club and i asked if she wanted to go in and sure enough she did. She got a lap dance from a really sexy eastern european girl and she couldn’t stop talking about her afterwards. It took about 5 years until her interest in trying again came up. We went in, she seemed curious but really shy. After a few drinks a pretty girl came to us and we three connectd nicely. She asked about a private room experience and my wife was like no no no. So the girl left. I explained we only live once we are getting older. Some time went by and i think the drinks got to her and she agreed to the private room. I got a chance to make out with another girl and my wife too. We have fucked everyday and she is cumming hard every day since that encounter. She’s completely open to anything i want to do now. It’s been 6 weeks and still going strong. I don’t know how long this will last but I’m planning how to find a girl to do full on sex with us (I thought about going to a gay bar with her and seeing who clicks). She’s open to me fucking another girl with her in the room. I made the whole experience about her. When the stripper was focused on me, I motioned her to take care of my wife and she understood completely and gave us one of the most memorable experiences ever. So this was a miracle of sorts. Unplanned, unexpected. I can’t even say I know what’s next, but it opened a door. Maybe my second wife is gay, at this point i don’t care.

For me if I had to do it over again, I would have cheated like crazy on the first wife. But that’s not a decision for everyone, just my take on it.

Her behaviour suggests that she is not.

Why don’t you ask her? In a ‘please be honest’ way.