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My wife blames me for not making her cum

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Originally Posted by richardfitswell
I think this is a complex issue beyond your and her ability alone to adequately communicate because neither what you’ve described nor what you say she said really makes the most sense.

Communication seems like it’s most of the issue.

Sometimes we don’t have the tools to communicate well but this is learned.
Sometimes because both parties are so close to the problem almost anything can be seen as a slight. That’s really hard to get over on your own.
Sometimes because partners know each other well they also know how to hurt the other badly and do this with or without intention.

Originally Posted by richardfitswell
Another thing: if you have to pull out to prevent pregnancy that is a really BAD way to prevent pregnancy because your precum also contains sperm, so you can pull out and STILL get her pregnant.

Can happen but the stats are about as frequent as someone on the pill getting pregnant. I’ve practiced this method for years with several partners and never had an issue. As long as you understand that sperm can live for 5 days and the egg is viable for 24 hrs and you know when ovulation occurs you can also freely ejaculate during the appropriate period.


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Originally Posted by memento
Communication seems like it’s most of the issue.

Sometimes we don’t have the tools to communicate well but this is learned.
Sometimes because both parties are so close to the problem almost anything can be seen as a slight. That’s really hard to get over on your own.
Sometimes because partners know each other well they also know how to hurt the other badly and do this with or without intention.

Can happen but the stats are about as frequent as someone on the pill getting pregnant. I’ve practiced this method for years with several partners and never had an issue. As long as you understand that sperm can live for 5 days and the egg is viable for 24 hrs and you know when ovulation occurs you can also freely ejaculate during the appropriate period.

Except that women can have unpredictable and variable cycles and life events, diet, stress, etc. can also impact cycle regularity.

The pull out method is notoriously good at making unplanned babies happen.

Condoms work very well when they are appropriately sized and put on correctly.
And with modern thin non-latex ones, they are hardly noticeable and don’t have any smell/taste.

I recommend Skyn personally for a good combination between quality, sensation, and price.


STARTING: BPEL: 5.9in EG: 5.0in

2018: BPEL: 6.7in EG: 5.3in

NOW (start 1/2024): BPEL: 6.9in. EG: 5.4in

Originally Posted by oldergent
I’m going to be the bastard here, move on before it is to late. I wasted my life hoping my wife would grow up and become a woman in touch with her sexuality and it never happened. I did everything imaginable to please her romantically, sexually, non- sexually, and she isn’t a fully adult woman in touch with herself. We are in our sixties. Now our sex life is over and I am mad as hell, not at her, at myself for not divorcing her early in our marriage.

Plus 1.

I’m mad at myself also. I got out at 52. I’ve since had a beautiful relationship with a woman 10 year my junior that didn’t work out as she decided after HPV that she could never have sex again, which is BS according to three doctors I consulted.

ITS NOT YOU, it’s her. My ex had intergenerational damage as her mother withheld affection from her. Easily fixed with therapy according to the psychiatrist I consulted. The ex ended up shouting through tears that there was nothing wrong with her.

At 23 YO she should be into sex.

I sought out the help of a tantric instructor as I assumed I was a dud. I showed my ex and asked her to come with me. She said it was just a happy ending and refused. After the third session I got my instructor off five times with my fingers to the point where she couldn’t speak. When she could finally speak she said, how are you so confident. It wasn’t me.

As for the girlfriend I mentioned above we both lost 6kg in 6 weeks. She also, while semi conscience, she told me that it was the best sex she had ever had. Again, it wasn’t me.

As others have said they blame the man first.

Have a good think about your situation. As Andy J said, humiliation, shame etc. Is not where you want to be.

Peace and Love.

SB

Originally Posted by Shaunbaby
I sought out the help of a tantric instructor as I assumed I was a dud. I showed my ex and asked her to come with me. She said it was just a happy ending and refused. After the third session I got my instructor off five times with my fingers to the point where she couldn’t speak. When she could finally speak she said, how are you so confident. It wasn’t me.

How would one find such an instructor? What terms would I google?

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