PE and Sexual Kung Fu

Tsuga, thanks for your words, hearing from you that I’m on the right path is very encouraging. I’m trying to edge every night, no matter what. One question: do you think it is better to edge while watching porn to get used to a higher level of excitement or focusing exclusively on my body reactions? I’ve tried both, and of course also while watching porn I try to focus on my body tension and sensations but I don’t get inside myself so much (hope you understand what I mean), on the other side when I focus only on my body with some sexy thoughts to get the arousal sometimes it’s very far from the sexual excitement that I get while having sex. I hope the question was clear

In general I would recommend practicing without the porn. The main purpose of the practice is to really tune into your bodies energy flow and its reaction. Like you said, you don’t get inside yourself as much with porn and its that “getting inside” that’s the point. I do understand about the porn helping to increase the sensation. I think every so often would be OK but let me make another suggestion.

I don’t know what your relationship with your girlfriend is but I would enlist her support if she would be open to it. What I mean is tell her what you are trying to do and ask her if she would work with you. This would mean she would sort of edge with you. When you get close to the brink ask her to stop moving, or have a signal like, you grab her butts and hold them still. When she feels this she would stop moving. This way you would get the stimulation level of porn but in the real situation, the one you want to be in anyway, I assume. I did this with my wife in the beginning and she was very supportive. A good woman will see very quickly how working with you will benefit her. Look at your girlfriend, if I remember right she got three climaxes all for herself because you could stay hard for her and not go over the edge, that’s a pretty sweet gift you gave her. Then to top it off you both went together. It even has the benefit of bring you both closer together as the two of you are working to heighten and deepen each others pleasure. Sexual teamwork!

The only thing I would suggest is not to be too controlling about it. If you over do it she might get turned off. If you slip over the edge, don’t sweat it, there’s always a next time. You can keep the more controlling practice for the solo work.

I’ll be interested to hear what she has to say, that is, if you feel comfortable talking with her about it.

Great to hear all this feedback.

Cirolli touches on something that I myself have become keenly aware of, and that is arousal level that is not related necessarily to direct physical stimulation. I think for my solo practice to develop, I will need to start using something to bring me to a mentally aroused state that is comparable to one experienced in the build up to sex. I can touch myself for a very long time in solo practice, but with someone else I can get myself into such a highly aroused physical and mental state, that the slightest touch can send me over the edge.

I have a feeling that being this easily aroused could actually be a good thing once I have some mastery.

There have been some set backs recently in my training. The last few sessions, haven’t lasted as long as I would have like them to. Also I’m still finding that to stay in a fully erect condition, I have to do a lot of stimulating the sweet spot, or wanking quite forcefully. I’m beginning to think that this is because of a lack of sensation in the lower part of my shaft; and that this lack of sensation can find it’s cause in my PE history of wet jelqing which exerts a lot of pressure on this part of the penis.

The last session, wasn’t so much self cultivation as, well, a wank. I was having trouble sleeping in the early hours of the morning, and thought of something to arouse me. When I was fully hard I turned on my back and started wanking in the old style: as fast and hard as I could to bring me to orgasm as fast as I could. Well, before long I got what I am going to refer to from here on in as, ‘the twitch’, and then shot my load.

I call it ‘the twitch’, because this is what it seems exactly to be. From a relatively small amount of direct stimulation of the sweet spot by the frenulum a small twitch, or seemingly an electrical impulse, causes small involuntary fluttering contractions in the PC area, which in turn cause an ejaculation.

In the last session I’m referring to I experienced ‘the twitch’ and accompanying ejaculation without any orgasm at all. This is unusual in that, in the past, when I brought myself to that point as quickly as possible it was usually accompanied by an orgasm.

What I’m thinking is this: perhaps now that I’ve been retraining myself to take longer to get into a fully aroused state, and to the point of orgasm, I’m left with the ability to cause an early ‘twitch’ if I so wish, but I’ve already retrained myself not to orgasm as early. So in a way, the experiences of ejaculation, are beginning to separate in my body/mind. Now, I suppose, I need to get to a point where ‘the twitch’ doesn’t occur as easily.

I don’t know, I’m confused. I guess I must just keep on practicing.

By the way thanks, Kaan, for your encouragement, and wishes for me to find a sexy training partner! :D :up:

Hi Ziggaman, it’s nice to see you back. I never had ejaculation without any orgasm, at times some very weak orgasms but still that sensation, so I can’t help at all. What I think I start to understand is when I edge I have to stop before feeling those fluttering contractions (sometimes if I stimulate myself just under the glans I feel them too). I’m realising I used to start edging to get rapidly to feel the first contractions and then try to deal with them flexing the pc (or bc) muscle or relax it (at least try to do it). Now I think that before I have to learn to stay hard and excited but on a step below and be ready to get back to this state if something brings me to further arousal. I don’t know if this makes sense to everybody, I wonder what the most experienced ones have to say.

Tsuga, thank you for all the practical and motivational support you are giving..What you are saying is something I’m doing with my girlfriend: I told her about the edging and she just loves what I’m doing and this side of me excites her very much. When we have sex I involve her in the edging more like a game than an exercise, I get myself in a position in which I have total control and either stop thrusting or take my dick totally out for a moment, and she loves watching me trying to surf the wave without crushing, even if I’m still learning to get up on the board. I said it’s a game, so many times I stop also right before she’s about to come getting her crazy. This also brings her into my same state of mind and gives her beautiful orgasms. The problem is that the game gets easily wild and my mind doesn’t put attention on tension or relaxation anymore, only sex, and this is when the exercise stops

Yes, this is where the real challenge is, or lets say “where the rubber meets the road” Here is where you can really “ride the wave”. If you can stay in the middle, neither getting lost in your own sensation, or in her, her sweet curves, her movement, her sounds, her deliciousness. Your feeling everything but not getting lost in any of it. Just like surfing, one slip in your attention and your tumbling in the wave. What I like a lot is riding the wave and having her orgasm, that’s when I find the pull to orgasm is the strongest, right before she starts to go. You staying on the wave allows her to ride back out for another orgasm and another, taking you right along. This is real dual cultivation.

It sounds like you are a lucky man to have a woman who will work with you and be playful about it. I like that you control her orgasms with your movements which makes things build even more for the both of you. If your up for some additional experimentation, try doing this but have neither one of you orgasm. Build it up a number of times, as many as you like, but don’t orgasm. Then lay there together with you inside her, you’ll be exchanging the heightened energy through your mucus membranes, especially while you’re hard. Let the energy subside in this position and then go to sleep or get up for the day, depending on when you do it. Watch what the energy is like between you over the following day, I think you’ll like it. The Taoists say this really strengthens and rejuvenates your internal organs as well to circulate the energy like this. I will say this, I sure like what a does to one particular organ!

If you try this I would like to hear a report back on what its like, especially the following day, individually and between you.

Zig,

I hear what your saying about not enough excitement with the solo practice and too much with a partner. I don’t know how much you ejaculate per week but try practicing regularly without an ejaculation for a whole week and see if the level of natural arousal increases. Be sure to circulate the energy so you don’t get a build up and have blue balls. A couple of weeks and you get a rock hard erection just thinking the word “sex”

I’ll wish for you to find a sexy training partner.

Hi everyone, just updating about my practice..not being very constant lately due to some work problems that got me busy, but I notice that I start to handle more the excitement…even when I get a little close to the edge sometimes I can manage to go back to a lower arousal without stopping during my solo practice…it’s good to feel I’m on the way, as long as it can be

I’m still having difficulty.

The past three solo practice sessions have ended in ejaculation. What’s more I find that unless I’m tugging hard holding on to the skin tight so that it’s the actual shaft that’s stimulated, as opposed to the shaft skin when I use lube gliding over the surface, I lose my wood (unless I’m very aroused, in which case I find I’m surfing to close to the edge and more often than not, tend to wipe out).

I will get there eventually.

Zigga, what I do is thinking about the things that turn me on the most and just as I feel the arousal growing i start just feeling my body sensations, then when I feel i’m under control again I restart imaging hot situations and then back into me.. in case it may help

Yeah, I try to do that too. Thanks man.

Zigg, I understand what you are saying, have been there myself.

Let me make a suggestion that has worked for me. Two things, my experience is that I am most stimulated when most engorged, and that the more the friction the more I get desensitized.

First try using a tight cock ring behind your balls. This I find helps to get maximum engorgement which leads to strong sensation. Once your engorged and stimulated move your hand very slowly back and forth over the head and don’t kegel, leave that muscle relaxed. Only kegel every so often to keep maximum pump and to dissipate the energy. Be warned, this can be highly stimulating if done right. Once you get the hang of this you should be able to also keep from slipping over the edge more because your really hanging there rather than flying on up and then trying to veer off.

Let me know if this works for you.

Hi everybody, I just want to update about my experiments. Naturally I notice a huge difference between playing solo or with my girlfriend. One weird fact is that sometimes it seems I can handle the sexual tension even less than before starting with the skf, but I’m happy to say that two days ago I repeated the same experience I wrote about some posts before, in which I could thrust as long as I wanted without getting over the edge. Simply awesome. One thing that I find confusing is that I continue reading so many different things about techniques for not getting over the edge; sometimes these techniques are very different if not opposites, I guess everyone has to find his own way. Of course there are aspects like breathing and relaxing muscles that are all common, probably those are the base on which everybody has to go his own way. When I happened to last as long as I wanted it was kind of natural, I didn’t concentrate on anything really, so it’s kind of difficult to recall the same way of acting…Long way to go

Hello, I’ve had this book for 2 weeks now and have been practicing self cultivating for 30 minutes each night without ejaculating. When will I start to feel the “dry orgasms”? Should I be kegeling/reverse kegeling when I am at the point of no return or another point? Does anyone have any insight?

Kegel if you need to
Or just shake your cock vigorously for a few seconds.
Or suddenly stop while near a wet orgasm and play with your balls.