Please read low sex drive

Ok here’s my problem, I’m in my early 20’s and I have a veeeery low sex drive. As of right now I have stopped masturbating for the past 2 weeks and it has been very easy.I havent had the urge and the only time I’ve gotten an erection is in the middle of the night while sleeping. I don’t have ed because my penis can physically work.I can get erections.and they can stay a majority of the time but I just don’t ever seem to have the desire for sex.

I used to have terrible sleep habits but now I’m going to bed at atleast 12 and waking at 8, so usually about 8 hours
I’m not on any medication now, I was taking hair genesis because of my hair thinning but have stopped
I havent masturbated in over 2 weeks.and it’s been very easy to do, no desire to masturbate
My penis is physically capable of getting hard, I don’t have ed, even though I don’t desire sexual things I can begin masturbating and get hard and stay hard for a good amound of time
I’m sure I have performance anxiety but I have tried to relax when I’m with a girl but it doesnt help
I havent had sex much and don’t have much experience with girls
I’m not overly stressed
I work out regularly, I use free weights.I used to get horny after doing squats but not anymore
I don’t do cardio because I seem to tired to get aroused afterward
I eat pretty healthy too.I’m in really good shape
I don’t smoke, do drugs or drink

I have tried jelqing and stretching for a short period and it made it worse, I have taken l arginine and various other herbal remedies and they don’t help, I don’t want to use an ed pill to give me an erection.I just want my sexual desire back

I did try kegels once.and oh lord.they made me horny as fuck, no pun intended.but I loved them.I could think about something and boom.erection.ready to go.but that soon wore off so I tried them again.nope didnt work.I tried them more intense.nope.I tried them gentle.nope.nothing worked.I started to get sore around my tail bone, at the top of my crack.and I’ve rested for a few weeks and tried again.nope.tailbone still is sore.man I loved those kegels and wish I could get them to work again.I’ve tried doing hundreds a day.I’ve tried doing long squeezes but nothin works..

I feel like my brain and penis have been cut off.and are no longer connected.are there any techniques to help me rewire my brain.I did used to look at porn a lot and not masturbate.like every day.id just look and not always be aroused so id keep looking.but I have stopped looking at porn all together because I thought maybe I fried the sexual part of my brain doing so

So id much rather exercises.variations on the kegels maybe.or workout or cardio stuff.any mind exercises to help my sex desire? I don’t really want to take pills or medicine.unless I had a hormone problem or something and needed it medically.I don’t want to take ed pills.I’m sure I need help with my performance anxiety but like I said any info or exercises would be great

Thanks so much

Welcome to Thunder's Place.

That sounds pretty complicated.

Have you talked to anyone about it? A doctor (a urologist)? Maybe a psycho-therapist? A sex specialist? Anyone?

I’d guess the problem is not physical. If you are getting nocturnal erections it means the equipment works.

I think you need to talk to somebody.

You also should look into being a little more careful while posting. Capitalize sentences, put spaces after punctuation marks. Your post was a bit challenging to read.

My take on your problem is to keep your body in good physical shape; keep up with the gym, do the cardio, the kegels, eat right, get decent sleep, and relax. I think you can reassure yourself with confidence that this is a temporary problem. But, in addition to all that, seek out the help of someone to help you work through your self-confidence issues. I’d recommend starting with a counselor rather than your doctor. Your ability to get nocturnal erections is a clue that your body’s working fine.

So continue to go about keeping it in shape and work on fixing your mind.

What do you think?

if i was you, especially if in school and so provided free by student health services, Id get testosterone levels checked by asking for “blood work” and making sure they include T as one of the tested things.

Yea I was thinking about getting my “blood work” done, and I probably should talk to some therapist or something because as you said, if I’m getting nocturnal erections then my body is working right, so it’s got to be my mind, I don’t really know the effects of a low testosterone. If that won’t affect me getting an erection but my actual sex drive then that is an option as well, thanks guys

Lefty

Don’t get too down on yourself either as you search to find the answer. This has happened to me a few times in my life for brief periods of time. In every case the more I thought about it the more I got down on myself and the harder it was to overcome. Your attitude can be your best ally or worst enemy; choose the latter.

Lefty,

I’m sure that notsolittle meant that your attitude should be your best ally, I was even confused at first reading that.

Yes, get some blood work done and have your T level checked. If the doc says its normal, ask at which end of normal. Low end could result in the lack of drive. Sounds like you are doing what you should be in order to have a healthy lifestyle, continue with that. Exercise is suppose to raise the T levels, I don’t know that for certain.

Most importantly, relax, don’t freak out over this. It maybe temporary.

What I mean is that thinking about this too much could prolong it. It sounds like his problem maybe psychosomatic. Whether or not his T levels are low, if he develops a persistent negative attitude about himself, the problem can drag on when it doesn’t need to.

I agree with both sunny and notsolittle.

I’d be surprised if your T levels were low; from your description it just gives me the hunch that it’s psychosomatic (as has been said).

Still, it won’t harm anything to get that checked. If that is the problem it’d be an easy fix, if it’s not you’re a step closer to figuring out what’s bugging you.

Oh, and thanks for making the effort with your typing, by the way. It makes a difference when people are translating (this is an international site), and for me it makes a difference on this tiny screen of mine (I access this site on a Treo, which has a really small screen).

Anyway, keep us posted. And maybe try the newbie routine just to see if you can keep things going.

I did have the thought: you said you had previously been getting poor sleep, though now you are getting at least eight hours a night. If you had been used to operating on a sleep deficit and have only recently switched to a better sleep schedule that could be part of your trouble. Also you said you had stopped taking a drug for your hair. Your body could merely be catching up and adjusting to all of that.

I’m a little unclear as to how gradually this problem has taken hold and how long in total you’ve been experiencing this problem.

Just don’t forget the night-time wood is a very good sign; you’ll eventually get this solved.

Yea I thought of that but it’s kinda been a problem before I started taking the meds for my hair, I did masturbate last night and ejaculate, not because I was actually horny though, but I thought a fews weeks of not ejaculating was long enough.

Odd question but how many of you kinda massage your penis before you start masturbating? I know I’ve always just started shaking my penis a little and then start to stimulate the head mostly with a pretty fast motion and usually get hard that way, I’ve been working on slowing it down and just massage my penis a little to get it hard, it worked pretty good last night, I tried to stay away from the head until I got hard, I’m sure that doesnt really have anything to do with my low sex drive, but sometimes it takes a while to get it up with a girl due to not only my mental problem but also I was thinking maybe because I’m so used to masturbating a certain way and usually girls don’t do anything close to what I’m used to.

Any thoughts?

Aside from everything everyone else has mentioned…
Could it be that the porn has desensitized you to everyday situations.
I had a problem a while back in which I couldnt get hard when with a girl unless they were making pornstar noises, I wasn’t comfortable and normal sex became dull. I wanted a woman that screamed and wasn’t afraid to do things, and the girl I was with kind of turned me off…
I do still watch porn but I try and limit it because I know it DID affect me.

Just a thought

Leftydick,

As stated previously there could be many reasons from anxiety to low testosterone. It could be a low grade flu that lasts a couple of weeks. Stomach problems also seem to reduce my libido. Are you taking any cold or allergy medicines? If your answers are all no try a short testosterone boosting diet for a few days. Eliminate any wheat bran or whole wheat products, white bread is ok. Eat beef and saturated fats like butter. Keep doing squats and working out. Also reduce caffeine intake. Maybe you’re being a little to healthy. I know this may sound counterintuitive, but saturated fats do increase testosterone. Of course, this should just give you an indication if your problem could be testosterone, I don’t recommend pigging out for more than a few days. Of course, at your age this feeling may just go away on it’s own. It’s happened to me. Just my 2 cents.

Yea I can try that diet for a few days, it’s cool.I did try some stretching today, of my legs, because I have tight muscles in my legs and I’ve had a really bad lower back problem for the past 2 years, and it creeps in my butt muscles and legs.but I stretched my legs out and it got my blood flowing in my penis and surrounding area really well and I started to get aroused.I have noooo idea why, but I’m just affraid it will wear off kinda like my kegels did but whatever..

I also wanted you guys to check out a thread about my hairloss if you don’t mind thanks for all the help guys

Hair loss please help

Hey there, although the two may be linked through stress id decide which one is more important to you at the moment, id take boldness any day to get my erections working properly.(I would cut out the hair loss treatment)

Go to the doctor and have a testosterone test as this often leads to low libido, remember that the normal range is very large and if you are at the lower end of normal many don’t function well on this level, although many do!

If this is so ask your doctor to try some testosterone booster, either patches or injections, the pills are not meant be be any where near as good according to reviews. Don’t be afraid to ask to try anything, some doctors aren’t very helpful or even very good so you need to take the bull by the horns..

Regarding your hair loss, I know it’s sad that it may be happening but it will happen eventually. There is a saying that God created baldness to save you from any more crap hair cuts! I look back at photos of my self with various styles and think what do I look like?
Shave your head down to a low level, doesn’t have to be totally bald and then get to the gym and bulk up on your muscles as these are the things that really attract a woman/man. It’s an in-built animal instinct to want to be protected!

I second all that.

The more you worry, the worse it gets. Although you don’t have ED, you can easily worry yourself into performance anxiety, even when trying to masturbate.

It is perfectly normal for ALL men to have periods of low sex drive. Hormone levels fluxuate, even daily.

If this goes on more than a few more weeks or a month, get a hormonal panel done. Even if you come out perfectly normal, at least you will have those test results to consult when you get older.