Raising the Penis issue with an adult male child

I know my 26 year old gay step son has some issue / concerns about his penis.

I’m married to his adoptive Mom now 5 years. His adoptive Dad died of cancer 14 years ago.

His Mother says he’s shy about NOT being circumcised but has nothing more to say about it.

. In public bathrooms, he ALWAYS chooses a stall rather than a urinal. So I expect he has some issue about his penis.

I know there is a psychological “pee shy” syndrome, but expect it may have to do with size.

I haven’t done PE myself, mostly here for the conversation, community, and advice about EQ supplements.

My wife doesn’t know I am a member here.

Any ideas about how to turn him on to Thunder’s Place?

Honestly, unless you breach the topic to him and get his reaction, turning him onto Thunders will be a waste.

I talked to a friend at length about PE and got him to do it with a spare extender I had, for a few months. But it took me years of talking about inappropriate things and him being my PE confidant before I even felt that the subject of him doing PE was even a possible topic. All you will likely do is alienate him and cast more doubt on his already wobbly self-image.

So…try to make yourself available if he wants to talk and see if he’ll come to you with the issue then ask him if he wants to do something about it IF the conversation turns that way. Otherwise, he’s probably going to be embarassed and intimidated even if he managed to be turned to the site by you. He’d feel pressured and like he has something to prove or a task to accomplish for you.

Just…be there for him. Offer him the PE concept if he expresses sincere malcontentment about a changeable aspect of his penis. If he doesn’t express that to you, this place is of no use to him really.

I wouldn’t approach the subject by saying that enlargement is the answer. As you may see in many of my posts that it’s a psychological issue more than anything. I’ve had a great deal of depression and anxiety because I’ve felt the same way.

The best thing you can do as offer a caring hand in education and psychological support. Education is key. Most of the men here came here thinking that they were small, myself included, only to read the vast amounts of information and realize that they are average or more.

There’s a complication here with him being homosexual. I have no experience with this but can only imagine that it exacerbates the issue to some extent.

I still go into the stall. Especially at concerts and sporting events. I wouldn’t worry about that. Most people, and even dogs, don’t like being watched when they use the restroom.

Yes, I agree with all the above. I just feel bad for the guy.

If he is 26 years of age, I am sure he has watched a lot of porn (just making an assumption), and has seen that the male penis comes in all forms and (in my experience) nowadays there are almost as many non-cut as cut. What’s slightly ironic, is that from the ages of around 22 to 26 I was embarrassed/self conscious of the fact that I WAS cut. It may stem from other issues. I, at the age of 28, still have issues in bathrooms. If I am not slightly drunk or for some reason extremely relaxed, then I cannot and will not urinate next to someone. There have been numerous times that I have walked into a restroom just to “wash my hands” because it was crowded. If I am feeling extra anxious, there are even times that I cannot go at a urinal because someone is simply IN the bathroom, even if all the urinals are empty and there is one person in a stall or one person at a sink. I have struggled with public restroom anxiety for most of my life.

Maybe don’t focus on the enlargement part, but bring up the health benefits of it then turn him onto thunders. Who knows what his problems are (premature ejaculation, small flaccid, weak erections). Stronger erections are reason enough to start PE. My g/f loves when I’m extra hard, I’m sure it’s the same for guys.

I think this strategy.

I always prefer the stall never the urinal for 2 reasons. I don’t like standing near guys while peeing, and most times when I use the urinal pee seems to splash out from it which is obvious when I wear light colors. So I don’t use them. But peewannabe has a great idea.

The pee splash thing pisses me off so I avoid it. It’s not a good look coming out the restroom with wet drops on your pants. It doesn’t happen to me in the stalls.

I sometimes sit down to pee. Yep. I sit. I lift my skirt and drop my panties, check the lid is down and wipe the jackass splatter-piss off the seat and sit. And that’s sort of awkward at the urinal. Thus the stall.

It’s because I can empty better that way. I have a slightly enlarged prostate. Has nothing to do with pee-shy for me, nor my pecker size, just the physiology of how the urethra and prostate interact, and sometimes I need the extra push of sitting for a minute or two.

Plus, if I were in the ladies room, I might risk being aroused if I watched some hot woman take a leak. Actually, there is no ~might~ to it. I would absolutely stare unabashedly, and God bless genderless restrooms because I could whip out my pecker while I watched. So if he’s gay, there could be an arousal concern, and nobody wants to prairie-dog it at the urinal, especially if there are no privacy barriers between the urinals.

Plus plus, his generation knows more about the internet than you and I ever will if we lived four more lifetimes. If he’s worried about size, he has absolutely already researched it on his own, and found Thunders, not to mention a million other resources and websites.

Plus plus plus, there might be an added benefit to his orientation that would inspire confidential guy-guy talk about size concerns and how to address it. He’s seen more in-real-life peckers than straight guys have, so he has a much better reference than we do. I would imagine he already has or has had a confidant for any insecurities he might have. Share a penis pump with your partner? Why the hell not. I would, and we’d probably help each other stay firmed up for jelqing, sort of make it a workout. I’ve never been gay, but I do feel guy-guy talk about size is usually much easier, because women just don’t get it. Even straight guys wag their tongue about size to the boys over beer.

So if he doesn’t bring it up, I would fuhgeddaboudit, and maybe just make sure he has toilet paper, should he need it, and double-check he washes his hands. You are still his father (step) after all. Make sure he washes after, no slack for these whippersnapper kids today!

And tell him his zipper is down or that he leaked his pants. Because that’s just fun.

- Saul

I’m actually a stall guy as well — No desire at all to pull it out and piss next to a bunch of others guys, plus it can be hard to get it out through the fly, then get it back down a leg afterwards. Stall just lets me drop pants, go, pull up pants and tuck things where they are comfortable. Also maybe put in a few jelqs/piss-pulls while I am at it if I remember.

As for the size issue, it’s funny, as since learning I guess I’m on the bigger side both soft and hard, I’d want to pull it out even less around a group of guys in a washroom or change room. Now if washrooms/change rooms were not gender-specific….that would be a totally different situation. lol

I use a stall for a couple reasons.

One is the fly of pants is not in a good place if you’re down a pants leg. Combine that with negotiating the boxer fly simultaneously and whipping it out when you need to piss is nearly impossible in a timely manner.

Two, I carry a gun. Privacy and personal security are easier with walls and a door. Peeking at the urinal ain’t a thing I really do. Nor is flaunting myself at all.

My insecurity never stemmed from the urinal, except one time at an amusement park with a trough urinal as a young boy…